Endless Bummer Page #3

- How many times a year do I go out?

- A lot.

- And how many times have I lost my board?

- A lot.

And how many times have I swum in to

get it? As many times as you lost it.

Right. And how many times was

it right there waiting for me?

Yeah.

Every time.

- Exactly, dude.

Every time,

except this f***ing time.

Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Did anyone

hear about Reagan bombing Russia?

What? Reagan's bombing Russia.

I heard it on the radio this morning.

Shh. You're that stoned that Reagan is

talking to you personally through a radio?

No, no.

I'm not that stoned.

I'm... that stoned.

Dude, me too.

Let's get more stoned.

What am I gonna do, man?

F***.

This is a symbol for all that's

sacred to our way of life.

So, what?

Is something sacred to your way of life?

Wake up.

A surfboard is the most

sacred thing to our way of life.

It's - It's your girlfriend,

your car and your dick, all in one.

Guys, he's, like,

a Mexican Jesus.

So, uh, Jesus,

what do we do?

We do what we do whenever

we don't know what to do.

Oh, no! It's alive!

Party at the Shelburn house

again, Anne?

Come on. We gotta meet some new people.

Withering away over here.

Oh, God, Iris, please. Shut up.

- Have some fun. Lighten up. I want to have fun.

I really do.

Okay, then have fun.

Okay, who's gonna be there?

Well, who do you think?

J.D., Lardo,

the Yard guys,

Mike Moke,

um, James, Bernard-

What? What is your problem?

- I just... Well, look.

I wanna meet some guys who are

into the same things I'm into.

Um, Iris, boyfriends aren't

into poetry, painting and art.

Just have some fun,

for me, please? Please?

Yeah, for you. It's easy for you to say.

You've got sunshine boy out there.

Yeah, that's not

that easy.

Know what? First chance I get,

I'm getting outta here.

I'm going to New York

and I'm gonna be an artist.

You know, I don't care about

being rich or famous, dude.

I just wanna work

and keep my edge.

Your edge?

- Yeah. My edge.

And when I do get a boyfriend, he'll be

into poetry, painting and art. You watch.

Um, news flash, Iris.

- Hmm?

Boyfriends who are into all that

already have boyfriends of their own.

Crap.

I got an idea.

Oh, really? What?

Let's flash Sparky.

Okay.

You ready?

Yeah.

- One, two, three.

What the hell

is wrong with you?

All right, J.D.,

All right, J.D.,

tell me the story

in excruciating detail.

All right, so,

I was out on my board,

and then, like, all

of a sudden out of nowhere,

this, like, perfect wave

just comes at me.

So I paddle into it, right?

And I get up, and I lay down,

like, this sweet bottom turn,

and then, like,

I was right there, yeah.

I'm right there, and the wave just

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