Elizabethtown

Welcome back, boys.

As somebody once said...

there's a difference between a failure...

and a fiasco.

Watch your head.

I'm fine.

A failure is simply the non-presence

of success.

Any fool can accomplish failure.

I'm fine.

I'm fine.

What the hell's he doing here?

But a fiasco...

A fiasco is a disaster

of mythic proportions.

A fiasco is a folktale told to others...

that makes other people

feel more alive...

because it didn't happen to them.

I'm fine.

I'm fine.

I'll take you to Phil so you don't get lost.

Mercury Worldwide Shoes,

which is actually Phil...

contains some of America's

finest artists' masterworks...

seen only by people

heading for very important meetings...

a promotion...

or otherwise.

"We are not just employees,"

as Phil once said.

"We are denizens of greatness."

Phil says, "The world is full of those

who achieve through negativity...

"or theft.

"We succeed through original thought."

A shoe is not just a shoe.

It connects us to the Earth.

The right shoe can transport us...

make us believe

we are capable of more.

But there are sacrifices

for a goal like pure greatness.

Like birthdays

or last Christmas with my family.

...through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Dig in.

And no making fun of my cooking.

- This must be homemade.

- Oh, Dad.

Though we sometimes celebrate

odd things at Mercury...

like the day the Italians invented rubber.

Which they didn't, of course.

But that's beside the point.

Where exactly is Drew, anyway?

We've contained magic in a shoe!

It was meant to approximate

walking on a cloud.

Hey, if you ever need anything

around here...

I'm your girl.

Any true student

of functional shoe design...

is also a student of Phil himself.

He is a master.

And Phil's innate wisdom

of what people want and need...

has never failed to date.

I'm fine.

He's also obsessed

with the number two.

These are Phil's prized

two Norman Rockwells.

The pair of paintings that once hung

outside the White House office...

of John F. Kennedy.

And yes, the two treasured doors...

Phil once purchased from a church

on vacation in Tunisia...

and had sent back home for a total cost

too enormous to mention.

$762,000.

Each.

Just two more minutes

and I can send you in.

Because we have a moment here...

let me tell you that I have

recently become a secret connoisseur...

of last looks.

You know the way people look at you

when they believe it's for the last time?

I've started collecting these looks and...

Okay, he's ready for you.

There's one right now.

How are you, Drew?

I wanted to jump out of the window

of that helicopter...

and just splatter on the trees,

to tell you the truth.

Don't do that.

It's only money.

The American psyche is in turmoil,

Drew, and we have miscalculated.

I'm sorry.

I have no rulebook for this situation.

They tell me

that we are about to lose 972...

million dollars.

I am...

ill-equipped

in the philosophies of failure.

Walk with me, Drew.

My basketball team.

They don't even know yet.

My Global Environmental Watchdog

project will have to go.

Sweet people.

We could have saved the planet...

but...

How do I make the concept

of $972,000,000...

more real to you?

It's the operating budget

of a midsize country...

a small civilization.

It's big!

It's so big...

you could round it off to a billion dollars.

I cry a lot lately.

The promise of a global future...

pinned to a groundbreaking shoe,

your design...

with a new form of material,

launched this week to great fanfare.

And now, meeting a growing

international roar of laughter...

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