El Director Vision: Surviving the Wild

Genre: Reality-TV
Actors: Chris Tempel


- Riley! Help!

Riley! Riley!

- Shauny, get yourself up.

Get up now. Get up.

Get your butt up.

There's no time to feel sorry

for ourselves.

- I can't, grandpa.

I'm too cold. I can't.

I can't.

- We know what to do.

We prepared this kind of thing

before, haven't we?

What are the priorities

of survival?

What is the rule of threes.

- Three minutes without air,

three hours without

regulated body temperature,

three days without water,

and three weeks without food.

- You got it.

You see, it's all up there

in that noggin.

You got this.

You'll be fine.

- Grandpa? Grandpa?

- Thanks for coming.

- It's all good.

Your dad was an amazing man.

- I appreciate that.

Thanks, Bob.

Katie, good to see you.

I'll see you soon.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- How are you?

- I'm so sorry for your loss.

- Thank you.

- I mean, he was the first

adult we ever knew

that let us call him

by his first name.

Coach Gus.

He insisted on it.

And he just kicked our butts.

It's almost as if

he's still around.

I practically expect to see him

walk through that door

and tell us to straighten up,

suck it up.

Be a man.

- Shaun.


Shaun, honey, where are you?


- Had a feeling

you'd be in here.

What are you doing?

Everybody's inside.

- I don't know

any of these people, Mom.

- Yeah, well, your grandpa

had a lot of friends

that we never met.

And the funny thing is

a funeral isn't always

about the person

who's actually dead.

It's more for the family

and friends

that that person left behind.

We should go on inside

and talk to his friends.

Want to come inside with me?

- What's going to happy

to Riley, Mom?

- I don't know, honey.

He's a pretty old dog.

- We'll figure something out.

- Can he stay with us?

- No. I wish he could.

But you know my new apartment

doesn't allow dogs.

- We could move into here.

- No way I'm moving back

into this place.

Too many memories here.

This place is probably

going to be condemned or sold.

- Can Riley at least

stay with Dad?

- No, he can't stay

with your father.

He's still in a hotel

for the time being,

and that man's never had a pet

in his life.

- Someone needs to take care

of him, and it should be me.

- Well, what we can do

is you can visit Riley

as much as you want.

And I will hire a service

to come and feed and walk him

every day until we figure

something out.

- A service.

Did you hear that, Riley?

You don't want a service.

You don't want a service,

do you?

You don't want a service

to take care of you.

You want the family

to take care of you.

- I'm going to stay here

and take care of him by myself.

- By yourself?

- Yes, by myself, Mom.

- You are 13 years old.

Don't be ridiculous.

- You know,

in the Jewish culture,

a boy becomes a man at 13.

Right, Riley?

- In the Jewish culture,

a boy becomes a man at 13.

- Well, that's good information,

but I hate to break it to you,


we're not Jewish.

And you're not

staying here alone.

- Grandpa said that once

I turn 13,

he would take me

to Mount Delilah over break.

- That's right, I did.

Sweet Delilah.

Once you've conquered

that old girl,

you will have most certainly

become a man.

- Is Riley making you laugh?

I know that we all

had some plans,

and unfortunately they changed.

So you're going to have

to split your time

between your father and I

until school start up again.

- Oh. Oh, that should be fun.

Cooped up in an apartment,

playing with your cell phone

and watching television

while your parents

complain about each other.

That's going to be

a lot of fun. Whoo-whoo.

- Mom, I'm staying here.

I'm staying here

at grandpa's house.

- You can't stay here.

Shaun, I'm sorry,

this isn't up to you.

You're a kid.

- This is so insanely stupid.

- Shaun...

- Come on, Riley.

- Shaun, come here.

- Shaun.

- Come on, boy.

Come on.

- Shaun?

- That was a good summer, huh?

The fish you caught

was bigger than you.

- You called it big-ass bass.

- Yeah. It was a big-ass bass.

It was a big son of a b*tch.

Your mom used to scold me

for teaching you bad words.

But what's a grandpa for?

- Hey, pal.

- Hey, Dad.

- Buddy, I'm sorry

about Grandpa Gus.

You were definitely

his favorite human being.

How's your mom holding up?

- Mom didn't care about grandpa.

- That's not true, okay?

You know relationships

are complicated.

It doesn't mean

she didn't love him.

- Well, grandpa and I were

supposed to hike this place

called Mount Delilah,

and I was wondering if

instead it could be

you and me this year.

- Oh, buddy, I'd love to.

I'm swamped at work this week.

Plus, you sure you want

to go with me?

You know I'm not

the big hikey guy.

- No crap.

You couldn't scale an anthill.

Used to call him Mr. Softy.

The unmade bed.

I think the reason

that your mother married him

was because he was

the opposite of me.

- You know, I never really

connected with Gus,

but I respected him.

He taught you things

I could never teach you.

- He's just trying

to butter me up.

- Dad, do you think

that's really grandpa in there?

Like, his whole body

and everything?

- Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

- Yeah, I think so, buddy.

- It's just kind of weird

to imagine him in there.

He was big and tall,

and now he's just...

- Now I'm just an ash hole.

No, I was just thinking

it would be cool

to take his ashes

to a cooler place,

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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