Eddie Murphy Raw

Synopsis: After achieving fame with Saturday Night Live and Beverly Hills Cop, Eddie Murphy released a film version of one of his live stand-up performances. He mainly focuses on the topics of divorce and relations between the sexes, but also goes into some of the problems he's encountered because of fame, including offended listeners and fans who continually greet him with his unprintable catch phrases.
Director(s): Robert Townsend
Production: Paramount Pictures
Rotten Tomatoes:
93 min

Show me that little dance

you-all be doing.

- I told y'all to stop running in here.

- Yes, ma'am.

I'm gonna smack one

of you now, you hear?

Them pants cost $3.98,

baby, you hear?

See that chocolate cake

I bought?

The chocolate cake

that was on the counter?

- Yeah.

- Well, check Cousin Cecil's pockets.

He probably got it in there with the

turkey leg and the sweet potato pie.

Hey, little brother. Show me that

little dance y'all be doing.

Get down, Lester, you is talking!

You move like you're 21 .

That dance ain't new. lt ain't nothing

but the old shuffle-butt.

Well, show me that move.

Oh, Lester, sit your drunk ass down.

Can't you see the kids

are trying to put a show on there?

Lester, she ain't your mama.

- Yeah. Yeah.

- Junior!

Vanessa. Come on, Vanessa.

Come on, baby.

Sing a song for Grandma.

- That's my granddaughter.

- That's my niece.

Why do fools fall in love?

Why do birds sing so gay?

And lovers await the break of day.

Why do they fall in love?

Why does the rain

fall from up above?

Why do fools fall in love?

Why do they fall in love?

Mama, I got a joke.

Little Eddie got a joke to tell.

Go on, Eddie.

Eddie. Eddie.

I got a joke to tell.

Once there was a lion

and a monkey.

The monkey said,

"I can make the weather change."

And the lion said,

"No, you can't."

So the monkey started

climbing up the tree.

And then he started peeing

on the lion's head.

"Now it's raining!"

Then he started farting.

"Now there's thunder!"

Then he started doo-dooing.

"Now it's snowing!"

So the lion said, "Oh, yeah?

Well, I can make the stars come out."

And then he kicked him

in the ding-ding.

Thank you.

I love that doo-doo line.

That boy's got talent.

My favorite movie is Trading Places.

- 48 Hrs. Has to be.

- Trading Places.

- Beverly Hills Cop.

- Delirious.

- Beverly Hills Cop.

- No, 48 Hrs.

- All of them.

- 48 Hrs.

- All of them.

- 48 Hrs.

I even liked Best Defense.

I'm looking forward to seeing

him in that leather suit.

- I'm telling you, that behind and all.

- Yeah, he's looking sexy.

- He looks good.

- Handsome.

Thank you.

Sit down. Everybody, sit, sit.

Cool out.

Thank you, thank you, thank you,

thank you, thank you, thank you.

And hello, New York City!

Thank you for coming out.

Don't let the lights and cameras

throw y'all.

We filming a movie here tonight

and y'all gonna be in this sh*t.

Except only I'm getting paid

for the motherf***er.

Every now and then

I take a joke too far.

That's why I haven't been

on the road the last three years.

Did y'all see Delirious?

ln Delirious, I was making fun

out of a lot of entertainers too.

That's when I got scared.

I did some jokes about Mr. T.

And Mr. T was gonna f*** Ed up.

He was...

And I was scared,

because y'all seen Mr. T.

He don't look like, you know,

like he can't fight.

He looks like he can

whip some ass, right?

And I was petrified. I would walk

at parties and people say:

"Yo, man, Mr. T was just here

looking for you."

He was walking up

to people saying:

"I'm gonna whip Eddie Murphy's ass

when I see him."

Then I watched his show,

because I didn't know him,

to see what kind of guy he was,

and the character on the show

ain't too bright.

So I figured if he came up to me,

I could use the Jedi mind trick on him.

Mr. T walk up and go, "I heard

you did some jokes about me."

"No, you didn't."

"Maybe I didn't."

"I'm gonna go beat up the fool

that told me them lies."

I'd be at parties,

hear he was looking for me,

I would just leave.

I don't wanna fight Mr. T.

Then I found out Michael Jackson

was looking for me. I was like...

When Mike...

My manager called me up and said:

"Yo, man, Michael Jackson is mad."

I was like, "So?"

You know, because I'd f*** Mike up.

You know, Mike...

Mike don't weigh but a buck-oh-five,

you know.

I bust that ass on Mike. I was looking

for him, but my manager said:

"We don't know everything

about Michael.

"He might be this bad motherf***er

behind closed doors.

"He's a recluse. Behind closed doors,

he might be completely different."

And I'd be at a party and have

Michael walk up to me one day

and it'd be like this:

"Can I talk to you for a minute?

"Yeah, what's your motherfucking

problem, man?

"Well, how come you keep

f***ing with me then, huh?

"What's all the motherfucking jokes?

You don't like my clothes?

"I'm Michael-motherfucking-Jackson,

I will bust your ass.

"Get the f*** out, motherf***er...

"I will moonwalk all up and down

your ass, motherf***er.

"You mind your

motherfucking business.

"I hear some more sh*t,

I'm gonna put this glove up your ass.

"I'll see you later."

That's a dumb...

I could never...

I've been trying for five months

to do the moonwalk

and I can't do the sh*t. lt's shitty.

lt's the dumbest dance ever,

because I can't do it,

that's why I say it's stupid.

But how can you do the moonwalk

and ask a woman to dance?

Be at a party, say, "Hey, baby,

come on, let's dance. See you later."

Do the moonwalk. That's some stupid

sh*t. Michael can do that sh*t, though.

Michael's so famous,

Michael went on TV and everything

he says, the public believes.

Went on television and said:

"I don't have sex because

of my religious beliefs."

And the public believed it.

I know brothers were like,

"Get the f*** out of here."

And white people go, "That Michael's

a special kind of guy.

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Eddie Murphy

Edward Regan Murphy (born April 3, 1961) is an American comedian, actor, writer, singer, and producer. Murphy was a regular cast member on Saturday Night Live from 1980 to 1984. He has worked as a stand-up comedian and was ranked #10 on Comedy Central's list of the 100 Greatest Stand-ups of All Time.In films, Murphy has received Golden Globe Award nominations for his performances in 48 Hrs., the Beverly Hills Cop series, Trading Places, and The Nutty Professor. In 2007, he won the Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actor and received a nomination for the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for his portrayal of soul singer James "Thunder" Early in Dreamgirls.Murphy's work as a voice actor in films includes Thurgood Stubbs in The PJs, Donkey in DreamWorks' Shrek series, and the Chinese dragon Mushu in Disney's Mulan. In some films, he plays multiple roles in addition to his main character, intended as a tribute to one of his idols Peter Sellers, who played multiple roles in Dr. Strangelove and elsewhere. He has played multiple roles in Coming to America, Wes Craven's Vampire in Brooklyn, the Nutty Professor films (where he played the title role in two incarnations, plus his character's father, brother, mother, and grandmother), Bowfinger, The Adventures of Pluto Nash, Norbit, and Meet Dave. As of 2014, Murphy's films have grossed over $3.8 billion in the United States and Canada box office and $6.6 billion worldwide. In 2015, his films made him the sixth-highest grossing actor in the United States.In 2015, Murphy was awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor by the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Eddie Murphy Raw" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 Jun 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/eddie_murphy_raw_7457>.

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