
Eddie Murphy Raw
- R
- Year:
- 1987
- 93 min
- 737 Views
Show me that little dance
you-all be doing.
- I told y'all to stop running in here.
- Yes, ma'am.
of you now, you hear?
Them pants cost $3.98,
baby, you hear?
See that chocolate cake
I bought?
The chocolate cake
that was on the counter?
- Yeah.
- Well, check Cousin Cecil's pockets.
He probably got it in there with the
turkey leg and the sweet potato pie.
Hey, little brother. Show me that
little dance y'all be doing.
Get down, Lester, you is talking!
You move like you're 21 .
That dance ain't new. lt ain't nothing
but the old shuffle-butt.
Well, show me that move.
Oh, Lester, sit your drunk ass down.
Can't you see the kids
are trying to put a show on there?
Lester, she ain't your mama.
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Junior!
Vanessa. Come on, Vanessa.
Come on, baby.
Sing a song for Grandma.
- That's my granddaughter.
- That's my niece.
Why do fools fall in love?
Why do birds sing so gay?
And lovers await the break of day.
Why do they fall in love?
Why does the rain
fall from up above?
Why do fools fall in love?
Why do they fall in love?
Mama, I got a joke.
Little Eddie got a joke to tell.
Go on, Eddie.
Eddie. Eddie.
I got a joke to tell.
Once there was a lion
and a monkey.
The monkey said,
"I can make the weather change."
And the lion said,
"No, you can't."
So the monkey started
climbing up the tree.
And then he started peeing
on the lion's head.
"Now it's raining!"
Then he started farting.
"Now there's thunder!"
Then he started doo-dooing.
"Now it's snowing!"
So the lion said, "Oh, yeah?
Well, I can make the stars come out."
And then he kicked him
in the ding-ding.
Thank you.
I love that doo-doo line.
That boy's got talent.
My favorite movie is Trading Places.
- 48 Hrs. Has to be.
- Trading Places.
- Delirious.
- No, 48 Hrs.
- All of them.
- 48 Hrs.
- All of them.
- 48 Hrs.
I even liked Best Defense.
him in that leather suit.
- I'm telling you, that behind and all.
- Yeah, he's looking sexy.
- He looks good.
- Handsome.
Thank you.
Sit down. Everybody, sit, sit.
Cool out.
Thank you, thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you, thank you.
And hello, New York City!
Thank you for coming out.
Don't let the lights and cameras
throw y'all.
We filming a movie here tonight
and y'all gonna be in this shit.
Except only I'm getting paid
for the motherfucker.
Every now and then
I take a joke too far.
That's why I haven't been
on the road the last three years.
Did y'all see Delirious?
ln Delirious, I was making fun
out of a lot of entertainers too.
That's when I got scared.
And Mr. T was gonna f*ck Ed up.
He was...
And I was scared,
because y'all seen Mr. T.
He don't look like, you know,
like he can't fight.
He looks like he can
whip some ass, right?
And I was petrified. I would walk
"Yo, man, Mr. T was just here
looking for you."
He was walking up
to people saying:
"I'm gonna whip Eddie Murphy's ass
when I see him."
Then I watched his show,
because I didn't know him,
to see what kind of guy he was,
and the character on the show
ain't too bright.
So I figured if he came up to me,
I could use the Jedi mind trick on him.
Mr. T walk up and go, "I heard
"No, you didn't."
"Maybe I didn't."
"I'm gonna go beat up the fool
that told me them lies."
I'd be at parties,
hear he was looking for me,
I would just leave.
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"Eddie Murphy Raw" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 15 Jan. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/eddie_murphy_raw_7457>.