Eat Pray Love Page #3

with someone else.

-Elizabeth, hi.

-Hi.

Oh, really?

How you doing?

Cheers.

-Thank you.

-l owe you an apology.

-For the walkouts.

-Well, l'm not everyone's cup of tea.

I doubt that.

I, on the other hand, was sh*t.

-Although l was trying very hard.

-"Sh*t" is a strong word.

Thank you.

You seem shorter in person

than on the stage.

-Really? l hear that a lot.

-Sorry.

It's okay.

It's unnerving when...

...a total stranger sees you

more clearly than you see yourself.

That's what l mean

by saying you're short.

Are you hearing dolphins clapping

right now?

I took a few liberties

with your material.

I give you full permission to make

fun of me. I know you're dying to.

You're far too charming

to make fun of.

I'm still hearing them.

Is that your guru?

You're joking, but, yes, it is.

She's beautiful.

Yeah. A friend told me about her.

I was out of work and feeling

pretty desperate for something.

Not the last time I was out of work,

the time before that.

And l just had this feeling like

I was looking in all the wrong places.

Looking for what?

God.

She has an ashram in India.

I'm dying to go, but...

...you know, you have to get, like,

three stages of hepatitis shots...

...and my insurance always runs out.

I'll go when the time's right.

There's a gathering of her students

every morning.

If you want,

I could take you sometime.

If you're not unnerved by 1 00

crunchy people chanting in Sanskrit.

I need to be unnerved.

David. A yogi from Yonkers.

I didn't exactly fall in love

with the guy.

What happened was

I dove out of my marriage...

...and into David's arms...

...exactly the same way

a cartoon circus performer...

...dives off a high platform

and into a small cup of water...

...vanishing completely.

Your underwear, my queen.

He just folded my delicates.

Oh, my God, baby,

you are in so much trouble.

Thirty-six?

My client is simply not interested

in a divorce.

Is he serious?

Is he really representing himself?

One semester of law school

right here, baby.

Great. Well, what would it take

to interest your client?

Okay, so here's the deal.

You have screwed up my life...

...but what l wanna know

is why couldn't you find yourself...

...in our marriage? Why didn't you

say what you were thinking?

-l did. You never listened to me.

-No. You never said:

"Hey, you know what?

You suck. l'm deeply unhappy."

You just took off. You never gave me

a chance to address those problems.

That's not fair. That's just quitting.

I took vows.

Till death.

And l take them seriously.

I believe this is just a phase

and l'm willing to wait it out.

You are always waiting, Stephen.

Waiting for me to come home,

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