Dumbbells Page #3

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Ah, Schmitty.

What the hell's going on?

You hit that club last night?

I heard it was hopping.

Oh, yeah, your world's

about to get f***ed up.

Todd.

What's up?

You tell us, motherf***er.

We have a new owner?

What about your dad?

He uh, said he was tired

of losing money on a business

just to keep me employed

and he wishes he would have

strapped up 30 years ago.

Well, we can't be fired.

In this freaking economy,

no one is hiring

and I know because I tried

to find extra work.

Okay, calm down.

Nobody's getting fired.

Uh, Todd, who is this

Jack Guy guy anyway?

You stinky pigs.

Do you realize you have

a business unattended outside?

Anybody care?

And your gross sewage pipes

are leaking stank

into my salon.

Meh, meh, meh,

meh, meh, meh, meh.

That's all I heard.

Take the d*cks

out of your ears, genius, okay?

Because Todd, I told you

last week.

I told you the week

before that.

And you told him the week

before that, too, b*tch.

"Beach", really?

Okay, people love

the beach.

- Welcome to America, b*tch.

- Oh, really?

Ironic coming from a girl

that looks like a Chihuahua.

What is this,

"West Side Story"?

You guys aren't gonna do

nothing?

You're gonna stand there?

Did you guys

choreograph this?

Well, if you put this much

effort into your goddamn gym

it wouldn't suck

so f***ing bad, all right?

Peace out, motherfuckers.

Smell that,

that's much better.

Did you know he currently

holds the title

world's first ever

male supermodel?

He's dated Kate Beckinsale,

Cameron Diaz,

and is currently married

to Adriana Lima.

The Victoria's Secret

supermodel?

I bet even his dick

has a six pack.

And he's an all Ivy League

quarterback for Yale.

Record breaker,

28 touchdowns in one game.

How do you know all this?

I Google, Facebook, MySpace,

Wikipedia, and Twittered him.

Plus, he told me.

Holy Sherlock.

Check her out, homes.

Whoa.

Look at that

slippery f*** toy.

Uh, yeah, what I would

do to her

would be illegal

in most states.

Holy sh*t.

Mr. Guy's got some moves.

You mean Gay Namath?

Bet I can tell you

exactly what he's saying.

"Hi, I'm Jack,

Jack Guy.

"My dimples could

cure cancer.

"I'm a supermodel and

I throw footballs really far."

"Oh, my God,

your name's so cool.

"Your wallet's so big.

"I promise if you

treat me like sh*t,

"I will love you forever."

Missy's right, dude,

you need therapy.

Bro, you wear a Speedo.

Did you guys hear

the good news?

We're gonna be on TV.

Yes!

I have been training

three years for "Ninja Warrior."

Out of the way,

I'm doing legs.

It'll be like "The Office"

except we're in a gym.

Those are the basics of

the reality show.

The less you know,

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