Dude Page #3

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for feeling alienated,

and then you resent them

for making you feel guilty

for feeling alienated, but the truth is

they just don't have the capacity

to understand or care?

Yeah. Hold on.

What were you and Bemis talking about?

Ugh. So, I gave a great presentation

on Kant today,

and then found this in my locker.

"I KANT stand this KUNT."

That's actually pretty clever.

Well, f*** you, because Bemis

said that my unpacking

of the third formulation was enlightened.

Mmm. Are you sure he wasn't talking

about the unpacking of his cock?

That... Ten and two.

Jesus.

Who goes there? What up?

- What up?

- Okay, okay. I knew it was you.

Thank you for putting up

my draconian security protocol.

How y'all doing? Have a seat.

Uh, I laid out

a little sample sale here.

We got Pluto OG,

aka Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Next up we got one I call Kramer,

because it like pops in.

You know I'm saying?

And then we got Strawberry Cough

and Barack O'bubba Kush,

because I know you're political and sh*t.

- Ha!

- Get some Cough.

That was your bro's favorite, too.

Highs and lows?

I'll go first. Highs,

prom-planning, duh. Uhm, and lows,

hmm, only having two weeks left

of high school with you guys.

That was so sad, it sucks.

Becks' eye-f***ed Bemis

for, like, 30 full seconds.

Oh, yeah, I did, because Amelia,

in yoga, was pose banging Aaron Jakes'

like cat and cow.

How about this? You like that one?

You like this one?

How's my p*ssy looking downward dog?

Oh, look at that.

What's that one?

How's that back arch

for my vagina?

Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Aaron Jakes,

the, the sophomore

who wears that puka shell necklace?

- Have his balls even dropped yet?

- Yes.

Into your mouth?

A couple times. He could be fun for prom.

Have you guys given thought

to going to prom together?

Just girls?

Oh, I want a real prom date,

like with a penis.

I know. There will be plenty of guys

to satisfy us at After Prom.

Okay. Sorry, Slutty B. Anthony.

But this is about more than just

girl power and getting laid.

Ugh, fine, you guys are such girls.

You should invite Bemis to prom.

I might invite him

to the graduation party.

- Ooh.

- Hi, guys.

- Hi, Jill.

- Hi.

Jill, who did you take to prom?

Uhm, I went with, uh, Lily's dad.

So, look how well that turned out.

Just kidding.

- Little girls.

- Love you.

Not so little anymore.

Now they're just a bunch

of washed-up skanks.

- What the f***? Shut up.

- Whoa.

- Excuse me.

- They washed-up, they swag.

- They all washed-up.

- F*** you.

- It's over.

- Crap, I got to pick up your sister.

I need some perfume. You got any?

Mom, she, she knows that you smoke.

When you have kids,

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