Driving Lessons Page #5

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until you've actually

strangled someone yourself.

Ah, there, you see,

the poetry, the pain.

I write poetry.

How intriguing.

May I hear one?

I'm not...

I mean, I don't know

any off by heart.

Another time, perhaps.

Now, then, I was thinking

we could go camping tomorrow.

Somewhere not too far.

Try out the old tent.

Something the matter?

How long would we be away for?

Oh, a day.

Two days at the most.

Hello, there.

And what brings you here?

Mmm?

Do you think Mum

will let me go camping?

Camping?

Why on earth would anyone

want to go camping?

To escape?

He can't possibly.

He's got a dress rehearsal

with the Guides next week.

He's a tree.

A eucalyptus tree.

Plus, he's got Bible club and

his driving lessons to think about.

But I thought you

were teaching him. -Precisely.

Well, surely a few days

is hardly gonna make

any difference...

Robert, you're not the one

trying to run the Girl Guides,

organize a play,

keep house and look after half

the over-70s in Finchley.

Sorry, but what does any

of that have to do with Ben?

I need him here.

Night, Dad.

Night-night, Ben.

I'm sorry about the camping.

Sometimes your

mother can be a little...

Good night, Mr. Fincham.

Bright and early.

That's the ticket.

I'm afraid I can't

come camping with you.

My mother needs me at home.

I see.

Sorry.

Well, never mind. We can just take

a little drive instead.

I take it you drive.

I'm still a learner.

This is wonderful.

This is simply...

Just look at all that green!

Just look at it.

It's all so f***ing green!

We should probably think

about turning back soon.

Oh, there's bags of time.

It's not even dark yet.

I really do think

we should turn back.

Stop the car!

Stop! Stop!

Good God above,

I am in Elysium!

Drive in!

I see now why the working classes

kept camping a secret.

Sky. Air.

Their little urchins

skedaddling about.

Hello, there.

I'm Evie. I've come camping.

Mum!

There.

Very nice.

If you don't mind,

I really think we should

be getting back now.

My mother was expecting me at 6:00.

I can't possibly leave

until I've eaten campfire food.

I really do have to say,

there's no time left.

There's always time.

Right, that's it.

I'm packing up the tent.

I beg your pardon?

I'm taking down the tent.

We're leaving.

Car key, please.

Sorry?

Car key.

Okay.

Oh, my God.

You've swallowed the key.

What a relief. He swears.

You've swallowed the f***ing key!

Better and better.

Choke. Bring it back.

You can't do that!

You have to bring it back!

No, I don't.

-Yes, you do!

No, I don't.

Sh*t. There's a spare set.

Where's the spare?

Haven't got one.

How could you do that?

Felt like it.

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