Draft Day Page #4

Okay. I'm ready to do this, Tom.

Our next two number one picks and a

third-rounder for your pick today.

Correction. Your next

three first-round picks.

What?

You heard me.

You want me to give you

the Cleveland Browns' first-round

picks for the next three years?

That's right.

Well, that's insane, Tom. That...

That wasn't your offer.

Well, I changed my offer.

Hell, we live in a different world

than we did a couple of hours ago.

I made you a fair offer and you

told me to enjoy my pancakes.

You think I'm gonna give you my

next three number one picks?

You're panickin', Sonny, and I

intend to take advantage of that.

I'm not panicking.

Your next three first-round

picks. Yes or no?

You still there, Sonny?

It's fourth and forever.

I'm talking fourth

and, like, miles.

Fourth down and 26

yards to go, okay?

Everybody's dropped back deep.

Their safeties are

halfway to Abilene,

thinkin' they got this thing iced.

Everybody and their mother,

hell, their grandmothers,

think it's gonna be the deep ball,

the Long Bomb, the Hail Mary.

Instead, it's a toss out

to my man Ray Jennings.

And then, boom!

He gets swallowed up by this

huge, ugly nose tackle.

The Hee-ha or the Ho-ha.

One of those huge

Samoan kids, right?

And when he looks down,

guess what he sees?

Nothin'. 'Cause Ray ain't there.

You know where Ray is?

He teleported six feet to the

left and he's off to the races.

Every poor Sooner

bastard on the field

is soilin' his Pampers

tryin' to get to him.

What does Ray do?

He brings it back! He cuts!

Shimmy, shake-n-bake, and

hurdles over Kyle Danforth.

All-American Kyle Danforth

and he's ghost.

He's a good player.

67 yards. Touchdown. Ballgame.

I'm telling you guys.

Ray's dad was a special

player for the Browns,

but this kid might be even better.

'Morning, Sonny.

Good morning, guys.

Was just tellin' Jelly

Doughnut and the guys

my favorite Ray Jennings story

'cause they're tellin' me

we have not yet decided.

I mean, we're not seriously

considering anybody else, right?

What are you doing, Sonny?

I just made a trade

with the Seahawks.

For?

The number one pick.

Oh!

You got us Bo Callahan?

Certainly appears that way.

Ali, you here?

Yes.

Is this gonna screw us

up with the salary cap?

Moving from seven to one?

It's about another $1.5 million

we weren't anticipating

for this year.

Maybe an extra $5.5

million in signing bonus.

We have that?

We can make it work.

Let me get into it.

- Pretty good news, huh?

- Yeah!

Number one pick?

Pretty big! That's great!

I thought we had a QB.

Tell me, what did we give up?

A number one pick this year?

And?

First-round pick next year.

Okay, well, that's a lot, but

Rate this script:3.5 / 8 votes