Dracula: Dead and Loving It Page #6

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Wait, master. I'm getting such a headache.

How dare they try to match wits with me?

Me, who has commanded

the forces of darkness.

Me, who has called forth

the demons of the night to do my bidding.

Me, who has destroyed every enemy

down through the centuries.

Renfield? I'm talking to you.

- Sorry, master.

- Come.

We have much to do,

and less time to do it in.

Renfield, hurry.

Renfield, I meant for you

to use the drain pipe.

I fly, you don't.

Yes, of course.

- Come.

- He flies, I don't.

Renfield, you idiot.

Grab him, Harker.

I'm weak. I strayed.

What did he do?

I caught him lifting up the sheets

and looking at me.

Nothing but a filthy pervert. Martin.

Here you are.

Take him back to his cell

and give him a you-know-what.

No, not another enema.

Yes, another and another

until you come to your senses.

- I'll close the window.

- Yes.

Good lad.

- Are you all right, dear?

- Yes. I'm fine, Dr. Seward...

apart from this ghastly garlic.

I'm sorry, dear, but Van Helsing insists.

Oh, Lord!

Lucy...

I command you...

open the window.

Come.

Get in there, you filthy degenerate!

I didn't see anything!

I saw everything.

- It's Lucy. Someone was attacking her.

- Wait here.

How is she?

- She's dead.

- Dead?

The vampire has taken all of her blood.

I told her not to leave

the safety of the garlic.

No. It's absolutely absurd.

I tell you, we must drive

a wooden stake through her heart.

Or else she will rise from her grave

to seek the blood of the living.

Lucy was my ward.

I won't permit you to desecrate her body

in such a vile manner.

It's sacrilegious.

But, Dr. Seward, shouldn't we at least

stand guard over Lucy's grave...

- just to make sure?

- No.

I'm having serious doubts

about this whole vampire theory.

For heaven's sake, who in all of England...

by the very furthest stretch

of the imagination...

could possibly be a vampire?

- Count Dracula.

- Well, maybe him.

What? What are you... about?

Count Dracula! Just talking about you,

favorably of course.

Forgive my interruption...

but I was just made aware

of the unfortunate passing of Miss Lucy.

I wish to offer my condolences.

- Thank you. We're all very distraught.

- Yes.

Count Dracula, allow me to introduce...

Prof. Abraham Van Helsing

of London University.

He's a doctor of rare diseases,

as well as theology and philosophy.

Und gynecology.

I didn't know

you had your hand in that, too.

Van Helsing, a name we know

even in the wilds of Transylvania.

Count Dracula. Curious.

Are you descended from Vlad Tepes,

the first Dracula?

Tepes?

It means "The lmpaler."

He was a bloodthirsty butcher...

who inflicted unspeakable tortures

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