Down with Love

---

The place, New York City.

The time, now, 1962.

And there's no time

or place like it.

If you've got a dream...

this is the place

to make that dream come true.

That's why the soaring population

of hopeful dreamers...

has just reached

eight million people.

Oh! Make that

eight million and one.

Hey, taxi! Taxi!

Hey, wait!

Where are you going?

Down with the bomb!

Down with the bomb!

Down with the bomb!

Down with the bomb!

Down with the bomb!

Barbara?

"Oh. "

- Barbara Novak?

- Oh, I think so.

- Oh, thank goodness you're here!

- Vikki?

Vikki Hiller, your editor,

in the flesh.

It is so nice to finally

meet you in person.

My goodness,

you're gorgeous!

We're gonna set up a photo shoot

for the book jacket.

There's plenty of time. The book doesn't

come out for a week. One week!

Oh, my! Don't be nervous.

Cigarette?

Barbara, this is my secretary Gladys.

Gladys, Barbara Novak.

Oh, I know. It's a pleasure.

Hello, Gladys! I'm glad to finally have

a face to put with the voice.

Vick, I need you

to sigh off on this pronto.

Maurice Johns, art director.

Barbara Novak, your cover!

" Oh, Maurice!"

I love it!

Down With Love.

Hear! Hear!

I only wish somebody had written

your book 10 years ago...

before it was too late for me.

Gladys, it's never too late.

Great job. Sorry if the guys in New

Production have been riding your tail.

I'm not.

They're ready for you

in the lion's den.

- Lion's den?

- Oh, don't worry. You'll be fine.

Just take a deep breath.

Gentlemen, this is Miss Novak.

- E.G.

- C.B.

- C.W.

- J.B.

- J.R.

- R.J.

- Okay.

- "O.K. Can't make it. "

- He's down with T.B.

- Oh, what a shame. Is it serious?

No, they're just having breakfast.

T.B. Is Theodore Banner.

You know, the owner of Banner House,

the fellow publishing your little book?

That's his portrait, there.

Forgive me if we kept you

waiting, but Barbara hit a storm...

on her way down from Maine.

- So you've come down from Maine, huh?

- You remember, C.B.

Miss Novak is

the farmer's daughter librarian...

who spent the long,

cold New England winter...

writing her manuscript

by the light of a lonely oil lamp.

I'm at a loss here, ladies.

I'm afraid I don't know exactly

what Miss Novak's book is about.

Miss Novak's book is a serious work

"of nonfiction entitled"...

Vikki, excuse me.

It's right behind you.

Would you mind pouring me

a cup of coffee?

It's a serious work of nonfiction...

"entitled" Down With Love.

- This is empty.

- "If you're making a fresh pot," I'll have a cup.

- Count me in.

- "Likewise. "

- Ditto.

- None for me, Vikki.

- Thanks, R.J.

- I'll have a Sanka.

As I was saying, the central thesis

"of Miss Novak's book," Down With Love...

is that women will never be happy

until they become...

independent as individuals by achieving

equal participation in the workforce.

And how do you propose

women do this, Miss Novak?

By saying, "Down with love. "

Love is a distraction.

If women were to stop falling in love,

it would mean the end of the human race.

Not at all.

I said women should refrain

from love, C. W"... "

not sex.

Isn't that the same thing?

I mean, for women.

It won't be, after they've mastered the

three levels I've outlined in my book...

that will teach any woman

to live life the way a man does.

Level one instructs women

to abstain from men altogether...

so they'll stop thinking that the pleasures

experienced during the sex act are related to love.

They're not,

as women will learn...

by practicing the self-pleasuring

technique that I've detailed...

in chapter seven entitled...

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