Double Wedding Page #5

dressed up in your mother's clothes.

- It's called being an individual, isn't it?

- Yeah, among other things.

Yes, I've known your type before.

You call black "white"

just to flatter your ego.

Order pistachio ice cream

when everyone else is eating vanilla.

- I like peppermint.

- You're trying very hard to be whimsical.

And you're really succeeding in giving

a very good imitation of a halfwit.

Well, I'm very sorry, Miss Agnew.

But you see, I've never had the advantages

that other little boys and girls had.

I never had a house like yours.

I never had anyone to tell me

what to eat and when to eat it...

...what to think and how to think it,

what to wear, whom to marry.

I never had anybody to live my life for me

but I've had a beautiful time.

And if that's being a halfwit,

I think I'll try to get rid of the other half.

Making fun of respectability

is the easiest form of wit, Mr. Lodge.

Come, Waldo. Wait a minute.

You can't go out on the street like that.

Look at your tie.

She's right. I'm for you, lady.

I love my wife.

- You should talk, you ain't seen your wife.

- I'm going home soon as I finish my beer.

- Come, Waldo. Irene.

- That's it. Run along, little puppies.

- Don't you dare call them puppies.

- Don't you tell me what to call anybody.

- I'm not Waldo.

- Thank heaven.

Puppies.

You're the most revolting,

cheap, four-flushing...

- Ah-ah-ah. Don't hit her.

- He'll answer to me if he does.

- If you were only a man.

- If you weren't a woman.

- Don't call that lady a woman.

- Margit, don't make a scene.

- I'm not making a scene.

- Now, who's acting like the ape?

- Yeah.

- Margit...

I've tried to be a lady, but I'm going to have

to put myself on your level to be understood.

You're the lowest, most contemptible...

You're beneath contempt.

You haven't enough character for that.

You dissolute, conceited...

Vagrant.

Did you hear what she called me?

A vagrant.

"Yumph. "

Margit, isn't he wonderful?

You children must be very tired.

Go home and take a hot tub

and I'll meet you at the office at 10:30.

- I'd like a shower.

- Showers make your hair fall out.

Really, Margit, it's just a personal matter

with me. I'd like a shower.

No, a tub.

And be sure to wear a bathing cap.

Hello, darling.

- Feeling better?

- No.

Oh, it wasn't your fault.

You were obviously under the influence

of that rundown genius.

You know, I've been thinking.

I believe you two should be married

as soon as possible. Not wait until May.

Margit, the time has come...

Yes?

- Whatever you say, Margit.

- Then I think perhaps next Sunday.

I'm afraid that'll be impossible.

- Impossible?

- Quite. I don't love Waldo anymore.

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