Don Jon

Synopsis: Jon Martello objectifies everything in his life: his apartment, his car, his family, his church, and, of course, women. His buddies even call him Don Jon because of his ability to pull "10s" every weekend without fail. Yet even the finest flings don't compare to the transcendent bliss he achieves alone in front of the computer watching pornography. Dissatisfied, he embarks on a journey to find a more gratifying sex life, but ends up learning larger lessons of life and love through relationships with two very different women.
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance
Production: Relativity Media
  2 wins & 27 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.6
Metacritic:
66
Rotten Tomatoes:
80%
R
Year:
2013
90 min
Website
300 Views

Yo, not gonna lie.

This sound...

...gets me hard as a fucking rock.

But I don't like to go too fast

right off the bat.

I'd rather work my way into it,

nice and easy.

So I'll start off with some stills.

Then, once I'm getting into it,

I start looking for a video.

I never actually touch my cock

till I find the right clip.

Then, once I do...

...goodbye.

For the next few minutes,

all the bullshit fades away,

and the only thing in the world

is those tits...

...that ass...

...the blowjob, the cowboy,

the doggy, the moneyshot, and that's it.

I don't gotta say anything,

I don't gotta do anything.

I just fucking lose myself.

There's only a few things

I really care about in life.

My body...

...my pad...

...my ride...

...my family...

Amen.

...my church...

...my boys...

...my girls...

...and my porn.

I know that last one sounds weird,

but I'm just being honest.

Nothing else does it for me the same way.

Not even real pussy.

And, yo, I get plenty of that.

Why you think my boys call me The Don?

- Jonny-Boy!

- Don Jon, what's good, baby?

- What up?

- You good?

- I'm all right.

- Jonny, look at me.

- Everything good with you?

- What's the matter with this guy?

- Come here, you animal!

- Get the fuck off of me!

Real talk, real talk. Purple.

- That's not bad.

- It's better than "not bad."

- You ain't see her turn around.

- You calling her a seven?

- An eight. At least an eight.

- That is not an eight.

She's cute in the face, you can maybe

call the face an eight, tits are a four.

Yeah, but the butt, man, it's exceptional.

I'm telling you. It changes everything.

- Shit!

- What?

- Sequins. Don't look. Don't look.

- What? Who is that?

- You don't remember her?

- She's coming over here.

'Cause you're staring right at her.

- Look who the fuck it is.

- How you doing?

- Why didn't you call me back?

- Come on. You're a grown woman.

Did you think I was gonna call you back?

You're pathetic, you know that?

Every week you got a new bitch.

Then why'd you come home with me?

Fuck you!

- Eight.

- No, that might be a nine.

- You shitting me? That's a seven.

- You're out of your fucking mind!

I gave you the eight,

your record's intact. Chill out.

You heard what she said?

Everyone knows about the streak.

- You're sick. You know that?

- I don't know what's wrong with me.

- Oh, my... damn!

- What? What? Where?

- Red.

- Holy shit! That's a dime.

- That is a dime.

- Nah, she's hot, but it's not a dime.

I don't even mess with blondes like that,

but that there is a dime!

- Fuck yeah.

- I don't know, there might be

- some lasagna up in there.

- I don't think so.

Definitely not.

She keep her shit tight, you can tell.

- No. I don't know.

- See, he likes that skinny shit.

He likes that skinny, high-fashion,

looks-like-a-boy shit.

- Fuck you!

- Admit it!

- He's kind of right, man, you do.

- I don't like more than a handful of titty.

No, no, no, no, no. No. A nice handful, I

love it, but more than that, it's like no!

Shit starts to remind me

of my mom or something.

- Jesus Christ.

- Your mom do got some big-ass titties.

- Don't talk about my mother.

- You brought up your mother.

If you don't like that,

there's something wrong with you.

I didn't say I didn't like it.

I said it's not a dime.

- That's incorrect.

- She's taller than you anyway.

- Fuck you, Jonny.

- I'm playing, come on.

You gonna get that?

Let me get a vodka-cranberry.

- Jonny!

- Sammy-boy, how you doing?

- You good?

- Let me get a Grey Goose and soda.

- What makes you think you could do that?

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Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Joseph Leonard Gordon-Levitt (; born February 17, 1981) is an American actor, filmmaker, singer, and entrepreneur. As a child, Gordon-Levitt appeared in the films A River Runs Through It, Angels in the Outfield, and 10 Things I Hate About You, and as Tommy Solomon in the TV series 3rd Rock from the Sun. He took a break from acting to study at Columbia University, but dropped out in 2004 to pursue acting again. He has since starred in (500) Days of Summer, Inception, Hesher, 50/50, Premium Rush, The Dark Knight Rises, Brick, Looper, The Lookout, Manic, Lincoln, Mysterious Skin, and G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. He portrayed Philippe Petit in the Robert Zemeckis-directed film The Walk (2015), and whistleblower Edward Snowden in the Oliver Stone film Snowden (2016). For his leading performances in (500) Days of Summer and 50/50, he was nominated for the Golden Globe Award for Best Actor – Motion Picture Musical or Comedy. Gordon-Levitt also founded the online production company hitRECord in 2004 and has hosted his own TV series, HitRecord on TV, since January 2014, winning the Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Creative Achievement in Interactive Media - Social TV Experience in the same year. In 2013, Gordon-Levitt made his feature film directing and screenwriting debut with Don Jon, in which he also stars. He previously directed and edited two short films, both of which were released in 2010: Morgan M. Morgansen's Date with Destiny and Morgan and Destiny's Eleventeenth Date: The Zeppelin Zoo. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"Don Jon" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 17 Jul 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/don_jon_7092>.

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