Synopsis: Brick Bardo (Tim Thomerson) is a traveller from outer space who is forced to land on Earth. Though regular-sized on his home planet, he is doll-sized here on Earth, as are the enemy forces who have landed as well. While Brick enlists the help of an impoverished girl and her son, the bad guys enlist the help of a local gang. When word leaks out as to his location, all hell breaks loose. Brick is besieged by an onslaught of curious kids, angry gang members, and his own doll-sized enemies, and he must protect the family who has helped him and get off the planet alive.
Genre: Action, Comedy, Sci-Fi
Director(s): Albert Pyun
Production: Paramount Home Video
79 min

Robbery suspect located. Unit PT6 heading

for lower city level...

Get away from me!

Leave me alone!

This is the police.

Stay where you are, and

toss your weapon aside.

- Get away from me!

- This is you final warning.

...stop where you are...

- Drop dead!

- ... is you final warning.

There is no escape.

- Stop or we will ruin you.

- ... Get away from me!

Stop. Stop.


Oh my God, oh my God...

I'm so angry with my life!

We got him trapped down in

the laundromat. But I do not see a thing.

According to the building plan, he's only got

one exit out of here.

All you kids, to the right!

- Do not .. do not scream!

- NO!!

Lady! Quiet!

I'm gonna force my foot, see if he's got

anybody else down there.

Back off!

Or I kill the fat lady!

I mean it!

Try anything!

Get these damn f***ers all over the place!

Please, rat, why don't you pick on

somebody your own size!

Ahh, shut up!


...we got ourselves a big problem down here.

I bespeak further ten million mineral bricks and safe

passage out this universe as we know it.

The son of a b*tch is even crazier

than we thought,

if he thinks we're gonna give him

any of these things.

Is exactly what we're

going to do, Captain Skyresh.

I want this situation resolved now.

Give him what he wants and get rid of him.

Elections are next week and I don't need dead

fat ladies on video screens all over the city.

Got it, Mr. Mayor.

Just got a better idea.

Brick Bardo just showed up.

Bardo? I just said I don't want a bloodbath.

I'm ordering you to meet his demands.


Sorry, um... there is a trouble with

the phone here. Gotta go.

Skyresh... Skyresh! Skyr...

Brick, what are you doing here?

Good to see you.

Hell of a mess.

Got in there over thirteen hostages.

The mayor wants to give in.

I'm suspended, remember?

Yeah. But, um...

- you've got any ideas?

- I've got an idea.

Gonna use hot water for my whites...

use a cold wash and more rinser

for the colors.

What are you talking about?

Laundry, Captain.

This is what I'm doing.

Excuse me.

So Bricks can take over?



One... Two...

- Three...

- Hey a**hole!

What the f*** you think you're doing?

I'm gonna kill these fat ladies!

Hey, I am talking to you, sh-shitbrain!


...better... get this moron out of here...

...or the fat is going to hit the fan!

That's right.

One of us outta get goin'.

But I already put my money in the machine.

I swear. I am going to do it.

Wow! That's the Ruger Blaster,

the most powerful handgun in the Universe!

That's right, fat boy.

And it's gonna blow a hole

clean through this fat lady.

And then blow a hole out of you.

And that's gonna blow a hole

outta lady behind you.

It's gonna be a lot of guts

floating around in the laundromat.

Do you know what I mean...

...fat boy?

What the hell happened to you?

Two women in cardiac arrest?

Everything is under control.

The suspect is in custody.

And every news station in town

is reporting that one of my officers

endangered a laundromat full of hostages.

Think how that looks!

- Mayor, no one was killed and I thought

that Bardo here...

- I'll do the thinking, Captain!

Where is that son of a b*tch now?!

Disappointed you didn't get

to kill anyone tonight, Bardo?

You are through!

You goddamn psycho!!

Take off those sunglasses, it's night!

- I want that bastard suspended!

- He is already under suspension because of

the incident in Fillmore.

Then fire his ass, I want him done!

Thank you for saving my Mom.

Tonight, at 11:
68, there was a extreme shootout

in a South Central laundromat.

Unidentified sources at the crime scene claim

that a renegade ex-cop went on a shooting rampage

that has left an unconfirmed 27 bystanders

wounded and another 3.6 dead.

With more on this tragic fast breaking story are

Details are still sketchy at this point, Harry.

However, anonymous official has heard rumor

that 1.4 of the dead are indeed children.

The Mayor's office has released

no actual details at this time.

However, a highly placed authority has implied

the identity of the killer to be known.

The name 'Brick Bardo' was overheard.

Brick Bardo. Isnt he the detective that was involved

in the Fillmore incident earlier this year?

- That's right, Harry -

- Well come back to this late breaking story

...But first:
we've got a travel advisory for you from

Tricia LaBelle

There's an old friend...

Wants to see you, Bard.

Rise and shine.

I saw the news tonight.

You're a very violent man, Bardo.

Yes, I know.

It's a violent universe.

I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me.

I am seeing the last of you, Spruge.

After our last encounter,

this is all they managed to salvage.

Let's see if I can remember the first time.

The Conklin bank job?

- I blew off your left arm.

- And most of my left foot.

And then there was the Space Extortion.

What did I take?

Two... or three legs?

Among other things.

The last time,

All I remember was your head,

rolling around in the parking lot.

I didn't think there was enough to save.

Modern medicine.

Theyre doing some wonderful things.

It's too bad your lovely family couldn't

benefit as I have.

Then I think, even our best doctors couldn't

have done anything with what was left of them.

What do you want?

I'll tell you what I want, Bardo.

50,000 molecular ions.

And I get them too, you know why?

Because my cruiser is loaded with

a dimensional fusion bomb,

that will blow the atoms of this city

into another universe unless they pay up.

Itll never happen.

Why not?

Somehow you'll f*** it up.

You always f*** it up.

No, Bardo.

You've always screwed up my plans.

But this time you won't have a chance,

because youre gonna be it tiny, tiny little atoms.

Were gonna blow you apart,

piece by piece, Bardo.

It's mine now.

I've heard about this custom-made monster

for years.

Do not worry, Bardo.

I'll take good care of him.

And I'll put it to good use.

Start with his left hand.

How does it feel to be on the other side, Bardo?

I don't know. You tell me.

I'm gonna die.

You can't kill me anymore.

What do you want, a**hole?


Youre just gonna walk away?

Warning. Intruder is following you. Closing fast.

Your crap won't take the pressure.

Neither will yours.


I don't give a f***.

What makes you think I do?

Energy Band impact.

you have landed on an alien planet.

Air pressure and atmosphere

compatible to human life.

Warning based on sensor calculations

of planet's structures

Your size relationships are altered: this

planet's life forms are in ratio of 6:1 larger

- Hey, you in the wrong neighborhood?

- [...] bucks!

Don't you be selling that trash

in my neighborhood!

That's it! Ive had it with you sleazy motherfucking

dope dealers selling sh*t in my neighborhood!

Now f***ing move or I f***ing kick your ass!

Get the f***ing move or I f***ing kick your ass!

Do you want me to f***ing kill you?

Get out of here!

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Chris Roghair

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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