Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story Page #4

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Do you smell that fitness? I do.

Rock it and shock it, baby.

You gotta burn it to earn it.

- What's in the envelope?

- Free 30-day memberships to Globo Gym.

- Cool.

- It's ajoke. He sent it to us as an insult.

Maybe we could sell 'em for cash

cos the car wash cost us money.

- We're further away from saving this place?

- Yes.

- We'll never raise enough money.

- This blows.

Guys, I know this is tough to take,

but if an impromptu car wash

doesn't raise us the $50,000 we need,

I guess itjust isn't in the cards.

Trust me here. If there was any way in

the world we could raise $50,000 in 30 days,

short of robbing a bank, I'd do it.

We could sell blood and semen.

What? Not mixed together.

Guys, I love the enthusiasm,

I love the energy here,

but we're looking at this the wrong way.

Let's celebrate the good times

that was Joe's.

We gotta start looking at this Irish-wake style.

Let me be the first

to say goodbye to Average Joe's.

We gave it a hell of a run, guys.

Now let's try to have some fun.

I'm gonna put on "The Thong Song",

and we'll tear this place apart.

Wait, wait. Peter. Peter.

We could play dodgeball.

That's very nice, Gordon, but everyone's

tired. Playing a game isn't gonna help.

There's a tournament in Las Vegas.

I feel so dumb I didn't think about it before.

I read about

the Las Vegas International Dodgeball Open

every year in Obscure Sports Quarterly.

Of course. That's a totally common thing.

The best part is it's open to any team

that wins a regional qualifying match.

- How is dodgeball gonna get us the $50,000?

- They have a cash prize for the winner.

- How much?

- $50,000.

Guys, we are not gonna get $50,000

for playing dodgeball.

- Why not?

- None of us know how to play dodgeball.

I do. We played it in PE last year.

They showed us this film about it.

- Can you get your hands on that film?

- Sure, I guess.

Can we please try to be serious

here for one second?

You said anything we could do to raise

the money. This is that anything. This is it.

Come on, show of hands.

Who wants to play dodgeball?

Come on.

Come on, Pete.

You guys had me at blood and semen.

Come here.

You want it, don't you, fat boy?

You want that doughnut.

Go ahead and have a bite.

Just a little bite.

One little bite won't hurt you.

Momma.

- Sir, Katherine Veatch is here to see you.

- Give me 30 seconds and send her in.

Yes, sir.

Thank you.

Hello, Katherine. Good to see you.

I didn't know you were dropping by.

- You asked me to come over.

- Did I?

Are you reading the dictionary?

You caught me. I like to break

a mental sweat too. Grab a chair.

So, I trust everything's going swimmingly

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