Doctor Who: The Infinite Quest

There she is.

So small I could reach out and crush it!

Crush it! Crush it!

Quiet, Caw! This is my moment of destiny.

Moment of destiny! Moment of destiny!

Attention, armory.

Prepare plasma cannons for firing.

Commence countdown.

I'm the king of the world!

King of the world! King of the world!

Now, forget your Bonapartes,

Boadiceas, Blackbeards even.

-What?

-This, Martha Jones, this is Baltazar.

Scourge of the galaxy,

Corsair King of Triton, 40th century.

The greatest despot that ever, ever lived.

This is just, just fantastic!

It is kind of cool. The thing about Baltazar...

-Scourge of the galaxy!

-The most amazing thing about him

is he forged this ship himself.

-He didn't!

-By hand. Go on, tell her, Baltazar.

I tended her by hand over countless decades.

Burnished her

into the greatest warship in history.

Not that long ago,

blew all of Earth's defense force from the sky.

You really shouldn't have done that.

Shouldn't have done that!

Now I'm going to envelop Earth

in a field of plasma fire.

Superheat the carbonites

-who crawl across it's surface.

-Really?

Then all carbon-based life

will be compressed, making...

-Diamonds!

-Precisely. Yeah, well done.

Yes, every living being turned into diamonds.

And the plan starts in seconds.

Now, that is a plan. That is indeed a plan.

Is that not just the most incredible plan?

Incredible. But we're gonna stop him, yeah?

By giving him this.

-What?

-I like to stir things up.

Oh, shouldn't have done that.

He shouldn't have broken your spoon because?

That wasn't just any old spoon.

That spoon passed through

the hands of the greatest chefs.

Fanny, Delia, Madame Cholet.

That spoon was an antique.

Forged by the inhabitants of a planet

which specialized in ribicola.

-Fungus?

-Yes, but not just any old fungus.

No, a special hydroxiding fungus.

There's no treatment for it.

which is why, Baltazar, scourge of the galaxy...

-MARTHA:
Your deck is rusting away!

-What?

No!

That's not ordinary rust.

I pepped it up. Gave it a bit of zing, va-va-voom.

-Va-va-voom! Va-va-voom!

-You can't leave him, not to the rust.

Oh, well...

Will Baltazar ever get caught?

I imagine so, his luck can't hold out forever.

So what'll happen, do you think?

The most likely prison-planet for him

would be Volag-Noc.

That's where I'd take him.

Coldest place in the galaxy.

-Brrr. Nasty.

-Yup.

-Give me a number between zero and 99.

-Forty-five.

-And another.

-Seventy-two.

-Another.

-Three. What is this, galactic lottery?

Destination setting. And you, Martha Jones,

have randomly chosen to take us to

Copacabana Beach! Arriba!

BALTAZAR:
I'll get you for this, Doctor!

I'll make you sorry you were ever born!

(DOCTOR WHO THEME)

Yes! 670 million miles an hour, and a bit!

Rock on!

-You're just a boy racer, aren't you?

-Ha!

BOTH:
Whoa!

-What was that? Emergency stop?

-Search me.

There's nothing in the manual.

(RUMBLING)

Go on, then. We've stopped.

MARTHA:
I've died and gone to Bill Oddie heaven.

Bill Oddie heaven! Bill Oddie heaven!

I know you. It's Caw, isn't it?

Welcome to Pheros, Miss Martha.

It's Caw's home.

-How are you doing, Caw?

-I likes you, Miss Martha.

(SQUAWKS)

MARTHA:
Oh!

That's for saving Caw's life all them years ago.

Thank you, Caw. It's really lovely.

Got some news for you, Doctor, about Baltazar.

-Let him out of Volag-Noc.

-Volag-Noc. I was right!

Yeah, great. Why'd they release him?

Say he's "reformed".

But Caw reckons he's as bad as ever he was.

He'll be coming for Caw.

Caw sold him out for a bar of gold.

-Or three.

-What do you need gold for?

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