Dirty Rotten Scoundrels Page #4

Perhaps His Highness has mentioned me?

Oh, Lady Fanny of Omaha?

He called me Lady Fanny?

Oh, yes. Lady Fanny of Omaha.

He speaks of you with great affection.

Drink, sir?

You have done a wonderful thing.

Sir.

Excuse me. I'm very sorry, sir,

but the man said it was urgent.

- What man?

- The courier, sir.

He's waiting outside.

He said you would recognize

the secret password.

- What secret password?

- Lady Fanny of Omaha!

Hi!

Could you take this to the guest bedroom

and see that everything is neatly pressed?

Go ahead, Arthur.

Wow!

Wo-ha-ha-how! Wow!

All I can say is "wow!"

What an a**hole I was

telling you how to take women!

All right. How much do you want?

Oh, Your Highness, I

don't want money from a man

who needs every penny to

free his enslaved people.

- What do you want?

- This!

This! I want this!

This is what I want.

I don't want money. I want you

to teach me. I'm in your hands.

- You can't be serious.

- Larry...

Lawrence.

All my life, I wanted to

be the best at something.

I thought I was the best, till I met you.

I mean, I never realized how far you

could go with this scamming thing.

- You've opened my eyes!

- Freddy, this "scamming" thing,

as you put it, took me years to perfect.

- I got time.

- Why should I help you?

A guy with my mouth could ruin a

lot of business around here for you.

What sort of an education did you have?

High school diploma.

And you majored in...?

- Metal shop.

- Metal shop.

All right. I'll do it.

Ha ha haa!

I'll teach you, I'll set you up,

and pay you a percentage.

- Great!

- But with this one understanding.

I run this operation

and you do as I say.

Great!

Classes begin after lunch.

I have a plan for this Jackal.

There is a man who owes me a favor.

Rn the Knife. He is a

master with the stiletto,

and an absolute magician

at hiding a body.

- Andre...

- As police inspector,

I give you my word, the case will be

investigated in a very slipshod manner.

Stop worrying, Andre.

I tell you, it is a

mistake to take him in!

I am taking him in gracefully in

order to get him out gracefully.

- Well done!

- I look great, don't I?

- I know the moves!

- Yes, Freddy. You're ready.

But remember our agreement.

I'm in charge. You do exactly as I say.

Exactly as you say!

I feel like a kept man.

I'm sorry.

I'm going straight to Andre and tell

him to tear up the check immediately.

Oh, no, you can't! I paid

the 100,000 francs in cash.

Damn.

Please don't be mad at me.

Well, he said he wouldn't let you

leave unless I paid off your loan.

What else did he say?

He told me how you needed

that money for your country,

to help fight the communists.

It's just such a noble cause.

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