Dirty Beautiful

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1

- I had this haunting dream.

I thought I was alone and

that I always would be.

And then, I saw her.

- You're the one,

the one I've been looking for.

So, what's your name?

- Anything you want it to be.

What's yours?

- I'm David.

- Oh, f*ck me, really?

Ya know what, I am so

in the wrong dream.

Yeah, I'm actually

supposed to be meeting a.

Hey.

Are you Jeff?

- High school,

what comes to mind?

First love, the prom.

For me, it was Netflix.

Ya know, Saturday nights,

just me and my laptop.

Annie Hall, Harold and Maude.

Ya know, any of those

unconventional love stories.

Ya know, those were

always my favorite.

Oh, oh, Eternal Sunshine

of the Spotless Mind, god.

It's movies like that, ya know,

films that inspired

me to move to LA

and write movies of my own.

So, here I am, years later,

I still haven't written

any actual movies.

But, I've written treatments,

which are mini scripts

and I have a lot of

ideas, a lot of notes.

This one's about Kat.

Trust me, she'd approve.

Where to start?

But I'm not telling

this story right,

and good story

structure is essential.

My life pre-Kat was quieter.

I storyboard for a living,

drawing pictures for other

people's films instead of my own.

- Don't tell us about you,

that's the worst thing

you can do as a writer.

Save that shit for Facebook.

Ya gotta be original.

Not another time

travel story, ugh.

I mean, do time travel

but, like the inventor is

this real feminist, right.

- Good, yeah, yeah,

wait, and wait,

the only way she can

get back to her own time

is to team up with a sexist guy.

- Right, right,

romantic, edgy, alright.

The sexist, he rapes her,

And then he's like a,

she kinda likes it.

So, is it really rape?

We don't know.

- Oh my god.

This is exactly what

Robert McKee talks about.

I finally get it.

I'm sorry guys, I just,

I feel like Helen Keller,

and you just taught

me what water is.

- Okay, who's next?

David.

You had a treatment

you wanted to show us.

- Um, it's not quite finished.

- Dude, dude, show us something.

- David.

- David, do it.

They'll make you cry like a

little girl but, it's worth it.

- Next time for sure,

like, definitely.

- Okay, okay.

- Alright, Sara.

Alright, you had a reality TV zombie pitch.

- Zombie pitch.

Yes, alright.

Okay, check this

out, scared alive,

got scared straight, right?

This town we put the juvenile

delinquents in the jail,

with real cannibals.

- Get out.

- Nicole, my best friend

and the biggest

crush of my life.

I even based the female lead

of my new script on her.

So outta my league but, I

made myself useful to Nicole,

listened to her, helped

her with her dialog.

I thought, if you

helped someone enough,

eventually they kinda

have to love you.

The signs were there.

I finally invited Nicole

over to my apartment.

It was time.

- What?

- Okay, um.

Ya know, we're great

friends, right, the best

and I don't want anything

to ever come between us

but, I've been thinking about this

for like, a long, long time. David.

- It's okay I know.

You're gay, and it's

so okay with me.

- No, god no, no.

Why would you even say that?

- Oh my god.

I just thought you

were building up to it,

it just kind of made sense.

- This sucks, this sucks.

- Okay, so embarrassed.

Alright, let it go,

just forget it, gone.

What were you gonna tell me?

- Oh no, it's

really awkward now.

- No, no, just tell me, I

won't say anything, I promise.

No.

- Woah, wait.

- Hm, that went well.

- I didn't.

- Break ups were so painful.

Especially the relationships

that haven't even started.

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