Dirty 30

- So, Richard.

- Yeah?

- Your profile picture

looked a little different,

I got to say.

- Oh, very good eye.

Good eye, my lady.

Yes, that picture is,

in fact, Nathan Fillion

from television's "firefly,"

but everyone's always

saying how we're doppelgangers

and we look exactly alike,

so I just kind of let it ride.

- People tell you that?

- Yeah.

Yeah, my mom.

- Anybody else?

- Nope.

- Okay.

Hi!

- Hi.

How are you two tonight?

- Hi.

- Are you the chef?

- I am the waitress.

- Very cool.

- Yeah, so what can I get you?

- I'll start?

- Sure.

- I am gonna do

a white Russian to drink.

You know what?

Let's make it a double.

Or do you do bottle service?

- Not really.

- Okay, well, then I'll take

a triple white Russian,

and I'm also gonna do

the eggplant Parmesan

but with vodka sauce,

if I could.

Maybe an extra shot in there

or something.

- Okay, thank you.

And for you?

- I will have the, um...

I'm gonna stick with the water

and I will have two

complimentary bread baskets,

please.

Unless you wanted to, uh...

- Oh, no, I'm all set.

- Make it three?

- Okay, great.

Be right back.

Both:
Whoo!

Jinx.

- Yep.

So I think your profile said

you work in

the film industry, right?

- It does say that.

- Yeah.

That's cool.

- Yeah.

- That's interesting.

- I work at take two video.

I'm the manager over there.

Yeah.

We are actually the last store

in the country

that still rents VHS tapes.

- Cool.

- And you work with teeth?

- I do.

I am a orthodontist assistant.

- Fascinating,

because I actually have

a bit of an issue.

I... I've had this weird thing

in my mouth for, like,

18 months for so, and I think

it might be a popcorn kernel,

but I haven't been to a movie

in, like, years.

- We're gonna do this?

- It feels like a kernel,

but it could also be ham.

It smells like ham.

- Yeah.

- It does, right?

- Yeah.

- So maybe it's ham.

I ask because if it is ham

and it's hardened in there,

at what point does it just

become a tooth

and do I start treating it

like a tooth?

- Hey, Karen, it's Kate.

Hey.

I am following up about fondue

night on the 12th.

My place, 7:
00.

What do you say?

Oh.

Yeah, don't worry about it.

We will do it another time.

Megan!

Hey, it's Kate fields.

Hi.

I saw that you're coming

to knitting club on Monday.

Oh, really?

Oh, I thought you said you were

attending on Facebook.

That's a bummer.

Hey, I'm just calling to make

sure that you and Ellen

actually read the book

for this week.

Yeah, no, "great expectations"

isn't that great.

Well, it doesn't matter.

You want to just come hang out

or something?

Totally get it.

Soon.

Yeah.

Totally.

Bye.

Hey!

Marco!

Brian!

Hey, it's Kate.

Yeah.

Hey, I'm just calling

to get a final headcount

for the dinner party

next Friday.

No problem.

We'll do it another time.

Okay.

Bye.

Okay, but if you guys already

have plans, then don't...

- we'll cancel them!

Consider them canceled.

Both:
Taco Tuesday,

taco Tuesday,

taco Tuesday!

- I don't understand

how you just do raw onions.

- They're good for you.

- Oh, hey!

Guys, I was thinking.

For Saturday, what do you guys

think about either fondue

or medieval times?

- I can't do fondue, Kate.

I am lactose intolerant.

- Yeah, and I'm

theme restaurant intolerant.

- All right, no worries.

Just yelp said they're fun

for birthdays, so...

- Mm.

- You bitches forgot

my birthday!

- What?

No.

- Yeah!

- Hey, does anybody

need a refill?

Or, like,

maybe two new best friends?

'Cause we are the worst.

- No, no, no, no.

I, um, I didn't forget.

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