Detention Page #4

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Courtship, social ethics,

what people think.

Very true. You're right.

- Sorry, that was for Clapton.

- What the frig!

You know what?

Let's get it over with.

- Let's have sex.

- I'm only gonna say this once.

Do not become the bad guy

in the pregnancy-scare video.

Playful banter is just a sign of

a healthy, caring communi-- Hold on.

If you go sit somewhere else, we can

maybe go back to being sort of friends.

- Mind if I sit here?

- Free country.

Every day, you and I stand in

this hallway and no one notices.

We're just hollow and useless...

...and stuffed full of crap

nobody will ever see.

I know who you are.

You're me.

Well, let's go.

I mean, "Gonna Make You Sweat"?

They let her get away

with making that look cool?

And then I'm beaten by a Canadian

on the ethics of eating animals...

...which makes no sense because

Canadians are supposed to be nice.

See you, Clapton Davis.

Hope my soundtrack

comes out on vinyl.

Little dudes like you get worked.

Let's see your teeth.

For dental records.

Yeah, the next time you go

to the dentist and look at an x-ray...

...it will be a picture

of your head flying off.

- Sh*t. Get that molar.

- Somebody's trying to kill me!

Join the club.

Get out of my face, dude.

Leave him alone, Nolan. We get it.

Your dick is bigger, all right?

Wait, how do you know?

Clapton, you're my Ralph Macchio.

Do the crane thing.

I like you, lone,

but you're really weird.

If your face hurts my fist...

...I will punch you again harder.

- Everyone take a step back.

- Hang on! I was here first.

Listen up, folks.

Your classmate Taylor Fisher...

...was murdered in her bedroom

this morning.

- What?

- I know this comes as a shock.

We're gonna need to speak

to some of you in turn.

- I was just attacked!

- Sure you were, honey.

The violent death of 17-year-old

Taylor Fisher...

...has shaken the town

of Grizzly Lake.

Fisher, a beloved

Bears cheerleader...

...was getting ready for school

when an intruder stabbed--

Jason Lawrence said

he saw blue lights in the sky...

...and then mysteriously was

compelled to eat three cans of tuna...

...a food he typically hates.

F*** everybody.

- You ever do any rave drugs?

- A rave? What is this, 1996?

This attacker you're describing,

Ms. Jones...

...sounds just like that horror film.

- Cinderhella.

Scream.

Cinderhella is only a movie.

It can't hurt you.

- You know that?

- I don't know. See the first one?

You're under the belief that

she attacked you? Cinderhella?

Look, I am not a retarded

Neve Campbell, okay?

Obviously, it was someone

dressed like her.

- You nuked the fridge with that one.

- I'm sorry. I don't speak fanboy.

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