Detectorists  Season #2 Episode #13

Synopsis: The lives of two eccentric metal detectorists, who spend their days plodding along ploughed tracks and open fields, hoping to disturb the tedium by unearthing the fortune of a lifetime.
Genre: Comedy
  2 wins & 1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
8.7
Year:
2014
30 min
373 Views

201 EXT. BISHOP’S FARM ‘HOME FIELD’ - DAEXT. BISHOP’S FARM ‘HOME FIELD’ - DAY

Distant bird song: YELLOWHAMMER.

Andy and Lance are detecting a few metres apart.

Andy gets a signal and digs a plug of soil out of the

ground.

LANCE:

What you got?

Andy pulls something from the hole and scrapes off the dirt.

ANDY:

Matchbox car... Chevrolet Corvette.

He considers this for a minute.

ANDY:

How in god’s name does that get out

into the middle of a field in Essex?

LANCE:

Dunno.

ANDY:

I mean, who’s been playing with cars

out here?

LANCE:

Dunno.

ANDY:

You know? A Roman coin I can

understand, but a Chevy Corvette?

Doesn’t make any sense.

A pause as they continue detecting.

LANCE:

Did you hear about old Bob Cromer?

ANDY:

What about him?

LANCE:

Dead mate.

ANDY:

Shut up!

LANCE:

Struck by lightning.

ANDY:

No!

Detectorists - Episode 2 - 2.

LANCE:

That’s the third in the last year.

Greg Peters, Janet Horwell and now

Bob. You know why don’t you?

ANDY:

Why?

Lance gets an interesting signal and starts to dig.

LANCE:

Because the best finds always show

up just before a thunderstorm.

Suddenly you’ve left it too late and

you’re the highest point on the

landscape. All three were running

when they were struck.

ANDY:

What a way to go.

Lance retrieves something from the hole and wipes the dirt

from it.

ANDY:

What you got?

LANCE:

Pontiac Firebird.

Titles:

DETECTORISTS:

202 EXT. BISHOP’S FARM ‘HOME FIELD’ - DAY

Lance and Andy are eating their sandwiches sitting next to a

hedgerow.

Lance pours out black coffee from a flask and offers it to

Andy.

LANCE:

Cup of ‘Good Morning America’?

ANDY:

No thanks.

Lance sips the coffee.

LANCE:

“That is a damn fine cup of coffee!”

What’s.....?

ANDY:

(interrupting)

Twin Peaks.

Detectorists - Episode 2 - 3.

Lance nods. Pause.

LANCE:

So I was thinking of getting the

band back to together.

ANDY:

What band?

LANCE:

You and me.

ANDY:

Were we in a band?

LANCE:

Yes! We jammed a few times.

ANDY:

I only remember once, round your

flat trying to do ‘Wonderwall’ and

you couldn’t reach the high notes.

LANCE:

It was more than once.

ANDY:

Did we have a name?

LANCE:

‘Fanny Magnet’.

ANDY:

That’s right. ‘Fanny Magnet’

LANCE:

Anyway. I’ve written a song and I

want us to do it at the open-mic

night at The White Horse.

ANDY:

What’s the song called?

LANCE:

‘New Age Girl’.

ANDY:

Is it about Maggie?

LANCE:

No.

ANDY:

Alright. I’m up for it. If it’s any

good.

*

*

Detectorists - Episode 2 - 4.

LANCE:

Ok, come round before we head over

to the club on Tuesday and I’ll play

it to you.

V.O.

Hey there!

They look up as they hear a distant shout from across the

field.

LANCE:

Who’s this?

They squint towards two figures coming across the field.

ANDY:

Looks like Simon and Garfunkel.

The two approaching figures, one tall and blonde, the other

small and dark, do indeed resemble the folk duo, except they

are carrying metal detectors instead of guitars.

We may as well call them PAUL & ART.

Art is carrying a folder under his arm.

The pair storm up and stop in front of them, slightly out of

breath.

ART:

Hello there.

LANCE:

Watcha.

ART:

How are we?

Lance and Andy look at each other, unsure how to answer.

Eventually:

ANDY:

Feeling groovy?

Andy and Lance touch fists.

ART:

Good, good....

Lovely day.

LANCE:

Isn’t it.

Short pause as they look at the lovely day.

Lance points to Art’s detector.

Detectorists - Episode 2 - 4A.

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Mackenzie Crook

Paul James "Mackenzie" Crook (born 29 September 1971) is an English actor, director, comedian and BAFTA-winning writer. He is best known for playing Gareth Keenan in The Office, Ragetti in the Pirates of the Caribbean films, and Orell in the HBO series Game of Thrones, and is the creator and star of BBC Four's Detectorists. more…

All Mackenzie Crook scripts | Mackenzie Crook Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted by aviv on February 16, 2017

Translation

Translate and read this script in other languages:

Select another language:

  • - Select -
  • Chinese - Simplified 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
  • Chinese - Traditional 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
  • Spanish Español (Spanish)
  • Esperanto Esperanto (Esperanto)
  • Japanese 日本語 (Japanese)
  • Portuguese Português (Portuguese)
  • German Deutsch (German)
  • Arabic العربية (Arabic)
  • French Français (French)
  • Russian Русский (Russian)
  • Kannada ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
  • Korean 한국어 (Korean)
  • Hebrew עברית (Hebrew)
  • Ukrainian Український (Ukrainian)
  • Urdu اردو (Urdu)
  • Hungarian Magyar (Hungarian)
  • Hindi मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
  • Indonesian Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Italian Italiano (Italian)
  • Tamil தமிழ் (Tamil)
  • Turkish Türkçe (Turkish)
  • Telugu తెలుగు (Telugu)
  • Thai ภาษาไทย (Thai)
  • Vietnamese Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
  • Czech Čeština (Czech)
  • Polish Polski (Polish)
  • Indonesian Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Romanian Românește (Romanian)
  • Dutch Nederlands (Dutch)
  • Greek Ελληνικά (Greek)
  • Latin Latinum (Latin)
  • Swedish Svenska (Swedish)
  • Danish Dansk (Danish)
  • Finnish Suomi (Finnish)
  • Persian فارسی (Persian)
  • Yiddish ייִדיש (Yiddish)
  • Armenian հայերեն (Armenian)
  • Norwegian Norsk (Norwegian)
  • English English (English)

Discuss this Detectorists script with the community:

Citation

Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:

Style:MLAChicagoAPA

"Detectorists" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 20 Oct. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/detectorists_1039>.

We need you!

Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

Watch the movie trailer

Detectorists

The Marketplace:

Sell your Script !

Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!


The Studio:

ScreenWriting Tool

Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.


Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.