Despicable Me  Season #summer

Synopsis: In a happy suburban neighborhood surrounded by white picket fences with flowering rose bushes, sits a black house with a dead lawn. Unbeknownst to the neighbors, hidden beneath this home is a vast secret hideout. Surrounded by a small army of minions, we discover Gru, planning the biggest heist in the history of the world. He is going to steal the moon. (Yes, the moon!) Gru delights in all things wicked. Armed with his arsenal of shrink rays, freeze rays, and battle-ready vehicles for land and air, he vanquishes all who stand in his way. Until the day he encounters the immense will of three little orphaned girls who look at him and see something that no one else has ever seen: a potential Dad. The world's greatest villain has just met his greatest challenge: three little girls named Margo, Edith and Agnes.
Production: Universal Pictures
  Nominated for 1 Golden Globe. Another 3 wins & 40 nominations.
 
IMDB:
7.7
Metacritic:
72
Rotten Tomatoes:
81%
PG
Year:
2010
95 min
$251,476,985
Website
33,496 Views


Despicable Me

Screenplay by

Cinco Paul & Ken Daurio

Based on a Story by

Sergio Pablos

EXT:
EGYPTIAN DESERT - DAY

FADE IN on a hot, sunny day in the Egyptian desert. Sand

dunes as far as the eye can see. A GOAT HERDER and his HERD

OF GOATS walk through frame. He looks out, over the sand

dunes, and we SEE the GREAT PYRAMID OF GIZA. It’s an aweinspiring sight.

Suddenly VROOM! A TACKY TOUR BUS enters the frame and races

through the spot where the goat herder and his herd were just

standing.

GOAT HERDER:

Whoa!

The goat herder is left coughing in the dust left by the bus.

EXT:
TOUR BUS - SAME

A BRATTY KID squashes his face up against the window of the

bus and lowers his sunglasses to get a better view.

The bus screeches to a halt. The bulk of the tourists pile

out of the bus. Then the last TOURIST FAMILY piles out,

Bratty Kid leading the pack attached to a Kid Leash.

TOURIST MOM:

Justin!

Egyptian guards stand behind a roped-off area that surrounds

the Pyramid of Giza. The Tourist Dad stands with the Pyramid

in the background, holding out his hand so it looks like he’s

holding it.

TOURIST DAD:

Quick honey, take my picture! I

got the pyramid in my hand!

The Tourist Mom snaps a couple of pictures, when through her

viewfinder she sees JUSTIN running off into the distance.

TOURIST MOM:

Justin you get back here, right

now!

The bratty kid has crawled under the roped-off area.

SECURITY GUARD #1

No stop!

SECURITY GUARD #1

No-- stop him! Do not cross the

line! No!

1

SECURITY GUARD #2

Go back! Stop! Stop him!

The EGYPTIAN SECURITY GUARDS run after him as he is running

up some rickety looking maintenance scaffolding.

SECURITY GUARD #2

Wait, wait, wait, wait! Hold on,

easy little boy.

The kid obliviously keeps playing with his little toy

airplane.

SECURITY GUARD #1

Okay, stop child! Stop right there!

No!

The kid turns back to look at the guards. He YELLS as he

slips and falls off of the ridge, plummeting headfirst toward

the Pyramid.

SECURITY GUARD #2

Oh no, no, no, no, no! -- Oh...

there he goes.

Tourist Mom and Dad GASP.

Then--

KOOOSH! The kid hits the Pyramid with his head-- and bounces

off of it.

WHOOOSH! The kid goes flying over the guards. The tourists

raise their cameras and snap away. He heads straight for his

mother. She screams even louder.

TOURIST MOM:

JUSTIIIIIIN!

The mom looks up in the sky, tracking the flying boy’s

trajectory.

TOURIST MOM:

I’ve got him, I’ve got him!

SPLAT! The boy lands right on top of his father.

The pyramid deflates like a giant bounce house.

PTFPTFPTFPTFFFFFSSSSSSS!

2

INT:
TV NEWS REPORT - NIGHT

A NEWSCASTER reports on the night’s biggest story.

NEWSCASTER:

Outrage in Egypt tonight as it was

discovered that the Great Pyramid

of Giza had been stolen and

replaced by a giant inflatable

replica.

FOOTAGE of EGYPTIAN POLICE attempting to re-inflate the

pyramid.

NEWSCASTER:

There is panic throughout the globe

as countries and citizen try to

protect their beloved landmarks.

We see FOOTAGE of FRENCH POLICE guarding the EIFFEL TOWER, a

huge line of CHINESE POLICE guarding the GREAT WALL OF CHINA

and a REDNECK with a shotgun guarding the WORLD’S LARGEST

BEER CAN.

NEWSCASTER:

Law enforcement still has no leads,

leaving everyone to wonder: which

of the world’s villains is

responsible for this heinous crime?

And where will he strike next?

EXT:
PARK - DAY

7 Gru walks through the park and sees a CHILD. The child is

sad about a dropped ice cream cone. He stops and makes the

child a balloon animal. He gives the child the balloon

animal...and then promptly pops it.

Gru moves the child aside and continues on his way.

EXT:
STARBUCKS

Gru walks down the street to his favorite coffee shop.

INT:
STARBUCKS

Gru enters. The line is a mile long. With a groan, Gru

pulls out his FREEZE RAY. He aims and...ZAP!

GRU:

Freeze Ray, Freeze Ray, Freeze Ray!

3

Gru laughs and walks to the head of the line past the frozen

customers. He approaches the terrified barista before

daintily taking a cup of coffee from her and plopping a coin

into the tip jar.

EXT:
CITY STREET

8 Cars drive down a busy city street. First a subcompact...

then an SUV...then an ENORMOUS metallic beast of a car, with

Gru at the wheel. He sips his coffee.

EXT:
GRU’S HOUSE - MORNING

In the middle of a typical suburban street sits a black,

creepy-looking house. Gru pulls his car into the driveway.

EXT:
GRU’S HOUSE - MORNING

Gru walks down from his car toward the fence.

MR. MCDADE (O.S.)

(laughs)

Morning, Gru! How you doing?

GRU:

Hello, Fred. FYI-- your dog has

been leaving little bombs all over

my yard, and I don’t appreciate it.

MR. MCDADE

(laughs)

Sorry. You know dogs, they go

wherever they wanna go.

GRU:

Unless they’re dead. Just joking,

of course. Although it is true.

Anyway, have a good one!

MR. MCDADE

Ah, okay. Ah, yeah, hmm.

INT:
GRU'S LAIR - CONTINUOUS

Gru walks into the living room carrying his Starbucks and a

muffin. He goes to sit on the couch and sees his dog KYLE, a

cross between a piranha and a pit-bull, SNORING soundly while

lying in the middle of the sofa. Gru frowns.

Gru uses a foot to roll Kyle over. Gru sits down to enjoy

his coffee and muffin. He just turns on the TV when--

4

DING-DONG! Gru grimaces and gets up from the table. He

walks to the front door to see who it is.

GRU:

Oh, you've got to be pulling on my

leg!

INT:
GRU’S LAIR - MOMENTS LATER

Gru arrives at the door, holding a club in his free hand. He

hears a little girl’s voice on the other side.

VOICE (O.S.)

Helloooooo? Cookies for sale!

Gru stops and looks through his front door peephole,

revealing--

MARGO, EDITH and AGNES. Three little girls carrying boxes of

MISS HATTIE’S COOKIES. Agnes holds a RAGGED STUFFED UNICORN.

She’s never without it.

GRU:

Go away. I’m not home.

INTERCUT with Margo and the other girls on the doorstep.

MARGO:

Yes you are, I heard you.

GRU:

(like a recorded message)

No, you didn’t...this...is a

recording.

MARGO:

No it isn’t.

GRU:

Yes it is. Watch this-- “Leave a

message--BEEP.”

EXT:
GRU’S HOUSE - SAME

Edith kicks the door. There’s a MUFFLED “OW” from the other

side of the door. The girls walk off. Agnes waves.

AGNES:

Goodbye recorded message!

MARGO (O.S.)

Agnes, come on!

5

INT:
GRU'S LAIR - SAME

Gru walks back into the living room. Kyle is no where to be

found! He looks around and suddenly -- CHOMP! Kyle has

devoured half of Gru’s arm, along with his muffin.

GRU:

Kyle! Bad dog! No, no, no! Sit!

My muffin!

He tries to shake the dog off when suddenly the TV flashes:

“INCOMING CALL.” It is Dr. Nefario on television. Gru stops

dead in his tracks, with Kyle attached to his arm.

DR. NEFARIO

Gru.

GRU:

Ah, Dr. Nefario.

DR. NEFARIO

I know what you must be feeling. I

too have experienced great

disappointment. But in my eyes,

you will always be one of the

greats.

GRU:

What? What happened?

DR. NEFARIO

It’s all over the news. Some fella

just stole a pyramid. They’re

saying he makes all other villains

look...lame.

Gru attempts to process this. Is this it? The end of his

career? Is his run on top over?

Gru somberly replies.

GRU:

Assemble the minions.

Gru shakes Kyle off his arm and runs to his Rhino chair.

Then he presses a button and immediately the room converts

into an elevator. The cannon drops from the ceiling and

turns into a pod that drops Gru down a shaft.

6

INT:
GRU’S UNDERGROUND LAB - DAY

Gru rides a moving platform down to his underground lab. He

yells at a group of MINIONS, one-eyed creatures that are

working.

GRU:

Minions assemble!

A minion who was about to hammer a nail being held by a

fellow minion stops in his tracks. He alerts the others and

we voyage downwards into the lab, peeking in on other rooms

populated by minions. In one room, a group of minions are

doing a form of Minion-aerobics.

As we continue to pan through the lab, we stop on two minions

who giggle as they watch the bubbles gurgle up in a water

cooler. They imitate the bubbles.

The minions stop what they are doing and race down to hear

what Gru has to say.

INT:
GRU’S UNDERGROUND LAB - NIGHT

All of Gru’s minions are gathered together for a big

presentation. Gru takes the stage and they explode with

cheers and applause and whistles.

GRU:

Looking good, Kevin!

Gru walks on stage.

GRU:

How’s the family? Good? Alright.

That’s my Billy Boy! What up,

Larry?

The minions going even crazier, screaming like girls during

Beatlemania.

MINIONS:

Gruooooo! Gruooooooo!!!

GRU:

Hello, everybody. Alright!

Gru tries to get them to settle down.

GRU:

Simmer down. Simmer down!

A minion screams.

7

GRU:

Thank you, okay.

The minions quiet down.

GRU:

Now I realize that you guys have

probably heard about this other

villain who stole the pyramid.

Apparently it’s a big deal --

people are calling it the crime of

the century and stuff like that.

We cut back to the minions who take this in.

GRU:

But am I upset? No! I am not. A

little. But, we have had a pretty

good year ourselves. And you guys

are alright in my book!

A minion eagerly raises his hand.

MINION:

Ooh ooh ooh!

GRU:

No, no raises! You’re not going to

get any raises.

The minion frowns.

GRU:

What did we do? Well, we stole the

Times Square Jumbo Tron!

Gru gestures to the TIMES SQUARE JUMBO TRON.

GRU:

Nice, huh? That’s how I roll!

Yeah, you all like watching

football on that, huh?!

The minions all cheer.

GRU:

But that’s not all! We stole the

Statue of Liberty!

The minions cheer!

8

GRU:

The small one from Las Vegas. And

I won’t even mention the Eiffel

Tower!

A minion wheels in a tiny Eiffel Tower.

GRU:

...also Vegas.

GRU:

Okay, I wasn’t going to tell you

about this yet, but I have been

working on something very big.

Something that will blow this

pyramid thing out of the water!

And now, thanks to the efforts of

my good friend Dr. Nefario...

Gru gestures to DR. NEFARIO, an ancient Dr. Strangelove-like

scientist, in the crowd. He comes riding in on a motorized

rascal cart.

NEFARIO:

Thank you, thank you.

GRU:

Oh yeah, there he is. He’s

stylin’.

Gru presses a button on his remote.

GRU:

We have located a shrink ray in a

secret lab. And once we take this

shrink ray, we will have the

capability to pull off the true

Crime of the Century! We are going

to steal...

The minions erupt into applause and cheers.

GRU:

Wait...wait! I haven’t told you

what it is yet!

They quiet down. Except for one minion who shoots off a

small rocket. KABOOM!

GRU:

Hey, Dave. Listen up, please!

9

Dave quickly calms down. A minion who was caught in the

explosion walks up to Dave and punches him in the arm.

GRU:

Next, we are going to steal-- pause

for effect-- the moon!

Gru presses a button, which causes the podium to rise. When

Gru is at the top, the ceiling opens revealing the moon.

GRU:

And once the moon is mine, the

world will give me whatever I want

to get it back! And I will be the

greatest villain of all time.

That’s what I’m talkin’ bout!

Gru's CELL PHONE rings. It's DR. NEFARIO.

GRU:

Yes.

DR. NEFARIO

Hello, Gru. I’ve been crunching

some numbers and I really don’t see

how we can afford this. It can’t

be done. I’m not a miracle worker.

GRU:

Hey...chillax. I’ll just get

another loan from the bank. They

love me!

Gru raises his arms triumphantly. The crowd goes crazy.

PAN UP to the moon, then DISSOLVE TO:

EXT:
STREET - NIGHT

The moon shines brightly in the sky. Margo, Edith, and Agnes

walk down the sidewalk, Edith leaping from puddle to puddle.

SPLASH! Edith gets water all over Margo.

MARGO:

Oh, Edith! Stop it!

EDITH:

What? I’m just walking.

The three girls enter the ORPHANAGE.

10

INT:
MISS HATTIE’S HOME FOR GIRLS - SAME

The reception area features pink flowery wallpaper and pink

furniture and perfectly stacked displays of boxes of Miss

Hattie’s Cookies. Sitting at the reception desk is MISS

HATTIE.

DING! The girls enter the room and line up behind the yellow

line before they call out to Miss Hattie.

GIRLS:

Hi, Miss Hattie. We’re back.

MISS HATTIE:

Hello, girls.

AGNES:

(hopeful)

Anybody come to adopt us while we

were out?

MISS HATTIE:

Hmmm, let me think. No.

Edith happily places a BALL OF MUD on Miss Hattie’s desk.

Miss Hattie stares, losing it.

MISS HATTIE:

Edith! What did you put on my

desk?

EDITH:

(proudly)

A mud-pie.

Miss Hattie looks Edith right in the eyes.

MISS HATTIE:

You’re never going to get adopted

Edith. You know that, don’t you?

Miss Hattie slides the mud-pie out of the way.

EDITH:

(resigned)

Yeah, I know.

MISS HATTIE:

Good.

(changing gears)

So how did it go, girls? Did we

meet our quotas?

11

MARGO:

Um, sorta. We sold 43 minty mints,

30 choco swirlies and 18

coconutties.

Miss Hattie stares back at the girls. This clearly isn’t

enough to her liking.

MISS HATTIE:

Okay, well, you say that like it’s

a great sale day.

(losing it)

LOOK AT MY FACE! DO YOU STILL

THINK IT’S A GREAT SALE DAY???

(getting it back)

Eighteen coconutties...I think we

can do a little better than that,

don’t you? Yeah, we wouldn’t want

to spend the weekend in the Box of

Shame, would we? No.

GIRLS:

No, Miss Hattie.

She CLAPS sending the girls off.

MISS HATTIE:

Okay. Good. Off you go! Go clean

something of mine.

The girls pass by a cardboard box labeled “Box of Shame” with

a small hole cut out of one side, through which the face of a

small child can be made out.

GIRLS:

Hi, Penny.

PENNY:

Hi, guys.

INT:
GRU’S CAR

Gru drives his enormous car down the street. His phone

rings.

GRU:

Hello mom. Sorry, I meant to call,

but...

INT:
DOJO

GRU’S MOM is dressed in a full karate costume.

12

GRU’S MOM

I just wanted to congratulate you

on stealing the pyramid. That was

you, wasn’t it? Or was it a

villain who’s actually successful?

The lady of 105 cracks herself up.

INT:
GRU’S CAR

Gru isn’t amused.

GRU:

Just so you know mom, I am about to

do something very very big. Very

important. When you hear about it

you’re going to be very proud.

INT:
DOJO

Gru’s mom isn’t swayed. She sarcastically baits Gru.

GRU’S MOM

Hah. Good luck with that. Okay,

I’m outta here.

With a swift kick, Gru’s mom knocks her trainer off screen.

EXT:
CITY STREET - A LITTLE LATER

Gru pulls up in front of a bank. There is a small space in

between two cars. SMASH! He knocks one out of the way.

SMASH! He demolishes the other one. Then calmly gets out

and walks inside.

INT:
BANK - CONTINUOUS

Gru walks in past the receptionist and into the restroom

carrying his briefcase.

INT:
BANK OF EVIL RESTROOM - DAY

Gru enters the restroom. Lasers come out of Gru’s urinal,

reading his eyes. A secret door opens and he enters into the

Bank of Evil.

13

INT:
BANK OF EVIL - CONTINUOUS

Gru is now inside the secret underground Bank of Evil

(Formerly Lehman Brothers), which finances all of the world’s

villainy not already financed by a government. Gru takes a

DEEP BREATH. He walks down a hallway featuring a series of

statues of a man being progressively crushed by a pillar.

He then walks to the Loans Desk and addresses the

RECEPTIONIST.

GRU:

Gru to see Mr. Perkins.

RECEPTIONIST:

Yes, please have a seat.

Gru takes a seat on a red leather sofa. He unrolls a piece

of paper with his master plan on it. He stares at it.

INT:
GRU’S CHILDHOOD HOME - FLASHBACK

LITTLE GRU sits in front of the TV watching the Apollo

landing.

NEIL ARMSTRONG (ON TV)

It’s one small step for man...one

giant leap for mankind.

LITTLE GRU:

Mom, someday I’m going to go to the

moon!

Gru’s Mom works on a needlepoint.

GRU’S MOM

I’m afraid you’re too late, son.

NASA isn’t sending the monkeys

anymore.

Little Gru frowns. His dream crushed.

INT:
BANK OF EVIL - DAY

Gru puts down the plan, revealing that sitting across from

him in a black leather chair is a nerdy villain in costume

with glasses, a prominent nose, sloped shoulders, and a pot

belly. His name is VECTOR, and he is cocky way beyond any

realistic assessment of his prowess.

VECTOR:

Hey.

14

Gru goes back to his studying his plan. Vector comes over

and sits next to him.

VECTOR:

I’m applying for a new villain

loan. Go by the name of “Vector.”

Gru is irritated and slides down the couch.

VECTOR:

(gives Gru a smile)

It's a mathematical term. A

quantity represented by an arrow

with both direction and magnitude!

He points to the arrow/equation on his chest. Gru attempts

to ignore the guy. He has now moved down to the end of the

couch. Vector slides down to sit right beside Gru.

VECTOR:

Vector. That’s me. Cause I’m

committing crimes with both

direction and magnitude. Oh yeah!

Gru continues to ignore the guy. But he won’t stop. Vector

holds up a futuristic-looking gun with a PIRANHA inside the

barrel gasping for air.

VECTOR:

Check out my new weapon. Piranha

gun! Oh yes! Fires live piranhas.

Ever seen one before? No you

haven’t-- I invented it. You want

a demonstration?

The piranha falls out of the barrel.

VECTOR:

Oh...ah...shoot. So difficult

sometimes to get the piranha back

inside my...

Vector and the piranha tussle on the ground. Vector pulls

the piranha off of his nose.

Gru is dying. Get me out of here. Thankfully, the

Receptionist speaks up.

RECEPTIONIST:

Mr. Gru? Mr. Perkins will see you

now.

15

INT:
MR. PERKINS’ OFFICE - DAY

Gru sits across from MR. PERKINS, the bank’s unforgiving loan

manager, a monster of a man with devil’s horn-like hair. Gru

is surrounded by charts and models showing how he’s going to

steal the moon.

GRU:

...so all I need is money from the

bank to build a rocket, and then

the moon...is ours.

MR. PERKINS

Wow. Well, very nice presentation.

I'd like to see this shrink ray.

Gru squirms in his seat.

GRU:

Absolutely. Will do. Soon as I

have it.

Mr. Perkins grimaces, disappointed.

MR. PERKINS

You don't have it? And yet you

have the audacity to ask the bank

for money.

GRU:

Apparently.

MR. PERKINS

Do you have any idea of the capital

that this bank has invested in you,

Gru? With far too few of your

“sinister plots” actually turning a

profit?

Perkins walks around the room.

MR. PERKINS

How can I put it?

Mr. Perkins pulls an APPLE from his coat.

MR. PERKINS

Let’s say this apple is you. If we

don’t start getting our money

back...

Mr. Perkins squeezes the apple and it explodes.

16

MR. PERKINS

Get the picture?

Gru gulps loudly. Mr. Perkins returns to his seat.

MR. PERKINS

Look, Gru, the point is there are a

lot of new villains out there.

Younger than you. Hungrier than

you. Younger than you. Like that

young fellow out there named

Vector. He just stole the pyramid.

Gru reacts to this. That loser he just met in the lobby

stole the pyramid?

GRU:

I've got it, I've got it. Um,

so...as far as getting money for

the rocket.

MR. PERKINS

Get the shrink ray. Then we'll

talk.

Gru sighs, defeated.

INT:
BANK OF EVIL - DAY

A beaten down Gru leaves Mr. Perkins’ office. He walks past

Vector, who is trying to stick the piranha back in his gun.

Looks around, then casually pulls out his Freeze Ray gun and

freezes his head. Vector moves his eyes to look at Gru

before his body hits the floor.

The piranha jumps into the air and on top of the now

defenseless Vector. He give out a SCREAM as he is bitten.

EXT:
SHOT OF ASIA FROM SPACE

A satellite shot of a large land mass on Earth. A flashing

red square shrinks down over a river running through the

landscape. ZOOM IN to an overhead view of a massive

industrial complex located on the island.

EXT:
SKY - DAY

GRU’S SHIP speeds through the sky.

17

INT:
GRU’S SHIP - SAME

Gru sits at the controls. A couple of minions are with him.

INT:
SECRET LAB - DAY

A worker pushes a covered cart through the halls and into a

lab. Two other workers open a sliding door which allows an

ELEPHANT to walk into the room.

EXT:
SKY - DAY

Gru’s plane continues to fly through the air toward the lab.

INT:
SECRET LAB - SAME

The worker is pushing the SHRINK RAY, a futuristic-looking

weapon, down the hall. It now sits in the center of a large

room, aimed at the elephant on the other side of the room.

INT:
SECRET LAB - SAME

The walls of the lab are lined with flashing lights and

monitors scrolling data. Through a window, two KOREAN

SCIENTISTS in white lab coats look in at the weapon. One of

them flips a switch.

The Shrink Ray begins to hum. Lights begin to flash. The

humming gets louder as it charges up.

INT:
CONTROL ROOM - SAME

The men look excited. They check their computer monitors.

All systems are go.

The Shrink Ray hums louder. It begins to glow. The

scientists grab each other. This is it.

FZZZZZCHEEEW! A bolt of energy shoots out and hits the

elephant across the room. SHOOOM! The huge animal suddenly

shrinks down to the size of a mouse. Makes a tiny highpitched trumpet SOUND. The scientists look at the shrunken

elephant...then they notice what’s happening in the lab.

18

INT:
SECRET LAB - SAME

VZZHHHHT! A LASER cuts a large circle in the ceiling.

WOOOOOSH! A minion rides down on a giant claw that grabs the

Shrink Ray. The lab workers PANIC.

EXT:
SKY - SAME

Gru’s MASSIVE AIRCRAFT hovers above the research facility

with the claw’s arm leading from the belly of the ship.

INT:
SECRET LAB - SAME

A minion riding the claw arm plucks the Shrink Ray from its

stand. The minion “carefully” tries to ascend through the

freshly cut hole.

MINION:

(laughs)

Suckers!

The minion bumps his head, OW! Then tries to exit again.

MINION:

Suckers.

The minion bumps his head again, OW! Then finally exits.

EXT:
SKY - DAY

The minion rides the arm up into Gru’s plane. The plane

takes off into the sky.

INT:
GRU’S SHIP - SAME

Gru sits at the controls. A couple of minions are with him.

GRU:

Aha, we got it!

The arm places the Shrink Ray in a glass case. Gru and

another minion revel in their success. Then--

VZZZZZZHT! A laser cuts a hole in the ceiling right above

the Shrink Ray. WOOSH! A giant claw enters Gru’s ship. The

claw grabs the case with the shrink ray. Gru and the minions

stare, stunned.

Gru stares out the front window, seeing--

19

GRU:

What? Hey, hey?! What? No, no, no!

A LARGER SHIP hovering above. It’s Vector. The wannabe

villain from the bank. He looks down at Gru. Yells down to

him.

GRU:

You!

VECTOR:

Ha-- Now maybe you’ll think twice

before you freeze someone’s head!

So long, Gru!

Vector blasts off, laughing. Gru and the minions watch him

fly off.

GRU:

Quick! We can’t let him get away!

A CHASE ensues.

MINION:

Wooo hooo!

GRU:

Up ahead, up ahead. Fire! Fire it

now.

A minion fires a machine gun. All the bullets miss.

VECTOR:

Oops you missed me.

GRU:

Come to papa.

The mother-lode of rockets pop out and fire from Gru’s ship.

Vector easily avoids them all with heat decoys.

VECTOR:

Take that. How adorable.

Gru carefully lines up another shot at Vector.

GRU:

Got you in our sights. Like taking

candy from a...what?!

It's Vector. He’s standing on top of his ship and is aiming

the shrink ray directly at them.

20

VECTOR:

Ha! Hey Gru, try this on for size!

ZZZTTTT! Gru and the minions are in their ship as it starts

to shrink.

GRU:

That’s weird. What is going on?

The seat belt shrinks so much that it breaks.

GRU:

This is claustrophobic. Oh, no,

no.

The ship continues to get smaller and smaller.

Vector LAUGHS and disappears into his ship.

INT:
GRU’S SHIP

GRU:

Too small. This is too small for

me.

Gru and the minions are squeezed out the front of the cockpit

like toothpaste. Gru is holding on to the ship as the

minions grab his legs. They are able to right the ship but

struggle to keep their balance on top of the now tiny plane.

TCHOOOOOOOOM! Vector’s ship takes off.

GRU:

Ugh, I hate that guy.

EXT:
MISS HATTIE’S HOME FOR GIRLS - NIGHT

Establishing.

INT:
GIRLS’ ROOM - SAME

There are three beds in a tiny room. The three girls kneel

next to them saying their prayers.

MARGO:

...and please watch over us and

bless that we’ll have a good

night’s sleep...

21

EDITH:

...and bless that while we’re

sleeping no bugs will crawl into

our ears and lay eggs in our

brains...

Margo shoots Edith a disapproving look.

MARGO:

Great. Thanks for that image

Edith.

AGNES:

...and please bless that someone

will adopt us soon...and that the

mommy and daddy will be nice...

and have a pet unicorn. Amen.

MARGO AND EDITH:

Amen.

The girls climb into their beds. Margo turns out the light.

Agnes begins singing to her stuffed unicorn.

AGNES:

Unicorns, I love them

Unicorns, I love them

Uni, Uni, Unicorns, I love them.

Edith GROANS as she puts her pillow over her head. Agnes

keeps singing.

AGNES:

Uni, unicorns, I could pet one

If they were really real

And they are!

So I bought one so I could pet it

Now it loves me, now I love it

La ,la, la...

EXT:
VECTOR’S FORTRESS - DAY

Vector’s fortress is a massive marble building with a huge

“V” on the front.

TITLE CARD:
VECTOR’S FORTRESS

Gru, in a Rastafarian disguise, walks an artificial dog down

the street. A security camera atop one of Vector’s walls

rotates and tries to focus in on Gru. Gru leaps back and

pins his back to the wall.

22

INT:
VECTOR’S LAIR

A shark and a school of fish swim under the floor of the

house. Vector lounges on his couch playing video games.

EXT:
VECTOR’S FORTRESS - DAY

Gru then activates his PUPPY PERISCOPE to spy over Vector’s

wall.

INT:
VECTOR’S LAIR - SAME

Vector eats some snacks. Suddenly, a SECURITY ALERT sounds.

Vector clicks a remote and sees on his monitor Gru’s Puppy

Periscope peering over his wall.

Vector puts down the video game controller, and picks up a

large, intimidating remote. He pushes a button.

EXT:
VECTOR’S LAIR - SAME

A large LASER GUN emerges from the dome atop Vector’s lair,

and FIRES! Gru’s Puppy Periscope is burnt to a crisp.

INT:
VECTOR’S LAIR - SAME

He sips a soda while he continues to play his video game.

EXT:
VECTOR’S LAIR - MONTAGE

In a quick series of beats, Gru is stymied at every turn in

his efforts to get inside Vector's fortress.

-- BAM! A mechanical boxing glove smashes him in the face.

INT:
VECTOR’S LAIR - SAME

Vector lies on his couch as he pushes buttons on his remote.

EXT:
VECTOR’S LAIR - MONTAGE

--Gru pole vaults into the wall and BAM! Mechanical boxing

gloves repeatedly hit him in the groin.

--He uses a jet pack to fly over the wall.

23

INT:
VECTOR’S LAIR - NIGHT

Vector plays the remote like a guitar.

EXT:
VECTOR’S LAIR - MONTAGE

When WHOOSH! A Giant Catapult flings him off the roof.

--Gru aims a bazooka at the front gate. SMASH! The gate

slams down on him.

--CRUNCH! A Giant Shark pops out of a manhole and bites down

on him.

-- BZZZ! Giant saws slice through Gru's ropes as he scales

the wall.

INT:
VECTOR’S LAIR - NIGHT

Vector rubs the keyboard on his butt.

EXT:
VECTOR’S LAIR - SAME

Finally, ONE MILLION OTHER WEAPONS transform from the roof to

combine one last forceful deterrent at Gru --

GRU:

(horrified)

Ohhhhh.

An ATOMIC BOMB-LIKE EXPLOSION. He’s done.

EXT:
VECTOR’S FORTRESS - THE NEXT DAY

Gru, beaten and burnt and bruised, emerges from a crater of

rubble across from Vector’s Fortress, coughing.

Then Gru sees the girls approaching Vector’s front gate. He

laughs bitterly as security cameras are activated and the

girls ring Vector’s buzzer. Gru chuckles to himself.

GRU:

Oh, Good luck, little girls.

Gru puts binoculars up to his face and reads Margo’s

clipboard:
“Miss Hattie’s Delicious Orphan Cookies.”

The million guns emerge from Vector’s dome, aimed at the

front door.

24

EDITH:

Whoa. Cool.

Margo addresses the camera.

MARGO:

Uh, hi. We’re orphans from Miss

Hattie’s Home for Girls...

VECTOR (O.S.)

I don't care. Beat it.

MARGO:

Come on we’re selling cookies so,

you know, we can have a better

future!

VECTOR (O.S.)

Oh wait wait...Um, do you have

coconutties?

MARGO:

Uh yeah.

EXT:
VECTOR'S FORTRESS - SAME

There is a pause. Then-- VHHRRRT. The guns retract and the

gates open, allowing the girls to enter.

EXT:
STREET - FANTASY

Gru can see the girls carrying out the Shrink Ray.

EXT:
STREET - DAY

Back to reality. Gru's eyes light up.

GRU:

Light bulb.

He flips open a cell phone and dials.

GRU:

Dr. Nefario?

DR. NEFARIO

Huh?

25

GRU:

I’m going to need a dozen tiny

remote control robots that look

like cookies.

NEFARIO (O.S.)

What?

GRU:

Cookie robots!

DR. NEFARIO

Who is this?

GRU:

Cookie, oh forget it.

Gru laughs with new found hope.

INT:
MISS HATTIE’S HOME FOR GIRLS - DAY

Miss Hattie sits at her desk across from someone. She’s

checking her computer screen. Gru sits across from her

wearing an all white dentist’s outfit, complete with rubber

gloves and eye protection. He looks like he’s about to fix a

loose crown.

MISS HATTIE:

Well, it appears you have cleared

our background check, Dr. Gru.

Miss Hattie types a few strokes.

MISS HATTIE:

Oh, and I see you have made a list

of some of your personal

achievements. Thank you for that;

I love reading.

INT:
GRU’S LAB - CONTINUOUS

A minion thinks and then types random information into a

computer.

INT:
MISS HATTIE’S HOME FOR GIRLS - CONTINUOUS

MISS HATTIE:

And I see that you have been given

the medal of honor...and a

knighthood.

26

INT:
GRU’S LAB - CONTINUOUS

The minion now takes suggestions from other minions for

enhancements to Gru’s profile.

INT:
MISS HATTIE’S HOME FOR GIRLS - CONTINUOUS

MISS HATTIE:

You had your own...cooking show and

can hold your breath for 30

seconds. That’s not that

impressive.

INT:
GRU’S LAB - CONTINUOUS

Two minions are fighting each other to type information into

the computer. The rest of the minions gather around, egging

them on.

INT:
MISS HATTIE’S HOME FOR GIRLS - CONTINUOUS

Miss Hattie reacts to her screen going haywire.

MISS HATTIE:

What in the name of...what?

GRU:

Well, here's the dealio. Things

have been so lonely since my

wife...Debbie passed on.

Gru starts to get emotional.

GRU:

It’s like my heart is a tooth, and

it’s got a cavity that can only be

filled with children. I’m sorry.

Gru tries to holds back his emotions. Gru sees that this

approach isn’t working, so he changes his tactics.

GRU:

You are a beautiful woman. Do you

speak Spanish?

MISS HATTIE:

Do I look like I speak Spanish?

GRU:

You have a face como un burro.

27

Miss Hattie giggles.

MISS HATTIE:

Oh, well, thank you.

GRU:

Anyway, can we proceed with this

adoption? So, so excited.

Miss Hattie pushes a button on her intercom.

MISS HATTIE:

Please tell Margo, Edith and Agnes

to come to the lobby.

INT:
GIRLS’ BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER

CLOSE ON the screaming mouths of Edith and Agnes.

EDITH & AGNES

Aaaaiiiiggghhhh!

The girls burst into their tiny room screaming. They

furiously put things in their little suitcases. Margo

removes a POSTER of a BALLERINA from the wall. Edith packs

her stick collection.

MARGO:

I bet the momma’s beautiful!

EDITH:

I bet the daddy’s eyes sparkle.

AGNES:

I bet their house is made of gummy

bears!

The other two give Agnes a look.

AGNES:

I’m just saying it’d be nice.

Agnes looks at something sitting in an empty dresser drawer.

AGNES:

Aww. My caterpillar never turned

into a butterfly.

EDITH:

(looking at it)

That’s a cheeto.

28

AGNES:

Oh.

She stares at it. Then pops it in her mouth.

INT:
MISS HATTIE’S HOME FOR GIRLS - SAME

Gru and Miss Hattie are in the middle of a conversation.

MISS HATTIE:

Oh, well Debbie was a very lucky

woman.

GRU:

Who's Debbie?

MISS HATTIE:

Your wife! Oh, hi girls.

The girls enter the office, suitcases in hand.

MISS HATTIE:

Girls, I want you to meet Mr. Gru.

He’s going to adopt you. And he's

a dentist!

Gru stands and turns to them. The girls stare at him. He

could not be further from their ideal image of adoptive

parents. Agnes runs to Gru, wrapping herself around his leg.

Edith turns to walk away.

MARGO:

Uh, hi. I’m Margo. This is Edith.

Margo points to Agnes.

MARGO:

That’s Agnes.

Gru attempts a smile. Shakes his leg, trying to get Agnes

off.

AGNES:

I got your leg, I got your leg.

GRU:

Okay, that’s enough, little girl.

Let go of my leg. Come on. You

can do it. Just release the grip.

Wow!

29

AGNES:

Higher! Higher!

(laughs)

GRU:

(to Miss Hattie)

How do you remove them?

Is there a command? Some non-stick

spray? Crowbar? Okay, girls:

let’s go!

Gru shuffles out with Agnes still attached.

EXT:
MISS HATTIE’S HOME FOR GIRLS - DAY

Gru’s car pulls away from the orphanage. The flames from his

exhaust causes a LITTLE KID’S balloon to pop. He cries.

Gru flips on the turbo and rockets down the street.

INT:
VECTOR’S BATHROOM - NIGHT

A bottle of mouthwash sits in a CUP near a bathroom sink.

VECTOR:

Pretty impressive. What are you

looking at? Boo-yah!

VZZZHTT! Suddenly, SHRINK RAY WAVES hit them and the bottle

shrinks.

VECTOR:

You got shrunk, tiny mouthwash!

Vector blasts the sink.

VECTOR:

Take that.

Vector laughs.

VECTOR:

You done been shrunk!

Then his cell phone RINGS. He jumps, aiming the shrink ray.

Then realizes it’s his phone and answers it.

VECTOR:

Yello? Oh, I got the shrink ray,

all right. No, I’m not playing

with it. Gru? Don’t make me

laugh. No.

30

(MORE)

PS, he is NOT getting the moon and

PPS, by the time I’m done with him,

he’s gonna be begging for mercy!

Vector fires the Shrink Ray at his toilet, shrinking it.

VECTOR:

(abruptly changes tone)

Okay, bye.

He hangs up the phone. Then turns to the tiny toilet.

Frowns, uncomfortable.

VECTOR:

Aw, look at you; a little tiny

toilet for a little tiny baby to --

Suddenly the pipes burst, spraying water everywhere!

VECTOR:

Ahh! Curse you tiny toilet!

EXT:
GRU’S LAIR - DAY

Gru and the girls get out of the car and walk to his front

door.

GRU:

Okay. Here we are: Home sweet

home.

The girls look around. The large black house is very

intimidating. They huddle close together. Margo then

recognizes the place.

MARGO:

So this is, like, your house? Wait

a second. You’re the guy who

pretended he was a recorded

message.

GRU:

No, that was someone else.

Margo furrows her brow, not convinced. Gru opens the door,

and they enter.

INT:
GRU’S LAIR - CONTINUOUS

The girls look around, taking in the scary looking interior.

Images of demons and Gothic evil are everywhere. Agnes turns

to Gru, nervous.

31

VECTOR (CONT'D)

AGNES:

Can I hold your hand?

GRU:

Ahhh no.

They go deeper into the lair. Edith pulls Margo aside.

EDITH:

When we got adopted by a bald guy,

I thought this'd be more like

Annie.

Just then Kyle comes around the corner, his eyes lighting up

as he sees the girls. He licks his chops and is about to

chomp down on Agnes with a slobbery mouth full of teeth when

Gru stops him with a rolled-up newspaper.

GRU:

No hey...!

Gru jumps behind the girls.

GRU:

Kyle. These are not treats.

These are guests.

(to the girls)

Girls, this is Kyle, my...dog.

AGNES:

Oooh, fluffy doggie!

Kyle runs off scared.

AGNES:

Aww.

Margo turns to Gru, accusingly.

MARGO:

What kind of dog is that?

GRU:

He’s ahhh...I don’t know.

MARGO:

Do you really think this is an

appropriate place for little kids?

Cause, uh, its not.

Gru shrugs, surrounded by all the inappropriate things in his

house. He turns and sees a curious Edith checking out an

open IRON MAIDEN.

32

GRU:

No, no! Stay away from there!

It’s fragile!

SNAP! The spiked door snaps shut with her inside. RED

LIQUID starts spilling out onto the floor. Gru stares at it.

Margo and Agnes GASP.

GRU:

Well, I suppose the plan will work

with two.

EDITH (O.S.)

Hey! It’s dark in here!

Gru opens up the iron maiden, revealing Edith standing there

completely unharmed. So small she fit between the spikes.

She holds up something.

EDITH:

It poked a hole in my juice box.

Red punch drips out of the juice box. Edith SPITS out the

straw.

INT:
KITCHEN - DAY

Gru stands in front of the girls.

GRU:

As you can see, I have provided

everything a child might need.

Gru points to a DOG DISH FILLED WITH CANDY, a DOG DISH FILLED

WITH WATER and NEWSPAPERS spread out on the floor. The girls

stare.

GRU:

Now I've got--hey!

Edith has smashed a vase of toxic chemicals, which is now

sizzling on the tile floor.

EDITH:

Somebody broke that.

GRU:

Okay, okay, clearly we need to set

some rules. Rule number one: You

will not touch anything.

MARGO:

What about the floor?

33

GRU:

(irritated)

Yes, you may touch the floor.

MARGO:

What about the air?

GRU:

(more irritated)

Yes, you may touch the air.

EDITH:

What about this?

Edith holds a dangerous looking RAY GUN.

GRU:

Ahhhhh! Where did you get that?

Gru shields himself with a frying pan.

EDITH:

(shrugs)

Found it.

Gru grabs the gun from her, then continues.

GRU:

Okay, rule number two: you will

not bother me while I’m working.

Rule number three: you will not

cry or whine or laugh or giggle or

sneeze or burp or fart. So no, no,

no annoying sounds. Alright?

AGNES:

Does this count as annoying?

Agnes opens her mouth and drums on her cheeks.

GRU:

Very.

(reaches for the door)

I will see you in six hours.

Gru slams the door. The girls stand there in silence.

Margo sees the somber faces on the other girls and tries to

cheer them (and herself) up.

MARGO:

Okay don’t worry, everything’s

going to be fine. We’re going to

be really happy here. Right,

Agnes?

34

Agnes is on all fours eating candy out of the dish like a

dog. She looks up.

AGNES:

Mmmmm?

INT:
GRU’S LAB - DAY

Minions are walking on the catwalks throughout the lab on

their daily duties.

Gru stares at a bunch of MINIATURE ROBOTS standing on a

table. Dr. Nefario stands proudly next to them. Pushes a

button. "Boogie Fever” by the Sylvers begins playing, and

the little robots start to disco dance to the music. A

minion hops in and also dances.

GRU:

Uh, question. What are these?

Dr. Nefario dances to the beat, too.

DR. NEFARIO

A dozen boogie robots. Boogieee!

Ha -- look at this! Watch me.

Gru grabs the remote from Nefario, and pushes the STOP

button.

GRU:

Cookie robots! I said cookie

robots! Why -- are you so old?

DR.NEFARIO

Okay I’m on it.

INT:
LIVING ROOM - SAME

There’s a muffled voice from behind the kitchen door.

The door opens, revealing the girls...a little nervous.

Agnes finds the TV remote perched high on Gru’s end table.

AGNES:

TV!

Just then, Kyle sneaks up behind her...drooling and licking

his lips. He pounces!

35

But not before Agnes steps on a button, activating the

elevator mechanism. Kyle gets caught up in the machinery and

gets smashed when the canon comes down.

The girls collect around the secret entrance.

MARGO:

What is that?

EDITH:

Whoa, that is cool. Come on!

The girls descend in the elevator, open-mouthed.

AGNES:

I don’t think he’s a dentist.

Kyle lies on the floor dazed.

INT:
GRU’S LAB - SAFE ROOM - NIGHT

A minion takes a sip of purple liquid from a beaker.

Suddenly he starts to float!

DR. NEFARIO

We’ve been working on this for a

while. It’s an anti-gravity serum.

At first its great...but then foof! The minion floats all

the way out of a skylight and disappears.

DR. NEFARIO

I meant to close that. He’ll be

alright, I’m sure.

We PAN down to Gru and Nefario.

GRU:

Do the effects wear off?

DR. NEFARIO

Uh, so far...no. No they don’t.

84 We PAN back up to reveal dozens of minions hovering near the

ceiling.

DR. NEFARIO

And here of course is the new

weapon you ordered.

36

Nefario pulls out an impressive looking ray gun. He pulls

the trigger. TBPBBBPPGGHGHH! A loud fart comes out of the

gun. The test minion passes out.

GRU:

No, no, no. I said dart gun.

Not...ok.

DR. NEFARIO

Oh, yes. Because I was wondering,

under what circumstances would we

use this, but anyway--

Dr. Nefario and Gru look down on the tiny robotic cookies as

they scamper across a table. Gru smiles.

DR. NEFARIO

-- what I really wanted to show you

is this.

GRU:

Now those are cookie robots!

Suddenly a toy unicorn appears from behind the table. A tiny

hand makes it hop along.

AGNES:

La, la, la...I love unicorns. I

love unicorns. If they were real I

could pet one.

Gru grits his teeth as he sees the girls emerge from behind

the table.

GRU:

What are you doing here? I told

you to stay in the kitchen!

MARGO:

We got bored. What is this place?

GRU:

Er...

Edith is examining Dr. Nefario’s collection of test tubes

filled with mysterious liquids. Holds up one.

EDITH:

Can I drink this?

DR. NEFARIO

Do you want to explode?

37

Dr. Nefario grabs the test tube. Edith kicks Nefario as hard

as she can in his shins.

DR. NEFARIO

Ahhh! Gru!

Gru turns to the girls.

GRU:

Get back in the kitchen!

AGNES:

Will you play with us?

GRU:

No.

AGNES:

Why?

GRU:

Because, I am busy.

MARGO:

Doing what?

GRU:

Um...ok, ok, you got me. The

dentist thing is more of a hobby.

In real life, I am a spy, and it is

top secret and you may not tell

anybody because if you do...

EDITH:

What does this do?

Edith pushes a button. A LASER shoots out, moving around the

room. VZZHHHHTTT! It connects with Agnes’ stuffed unicorn

which instantly turns it to ashes. Agnes gasps.

EDITH:

Whoops.

AGNES:

My unicorn! You have to fix it!

GRU:

Fix it? Look, it has been

disintegrated! By definition, it

cannot be fixed.

38

Agnes now takes a deep breath and holds it. Gru turns to

Margo.

GRU:

That’s freaking me out. What is

she doing?

MARGO:

She’s going to hold her breath

until she gets a new one.

Gru turns to Agnes, frustrated.

GRU:

It’s just a toy. Now stop it!

Agnes is starting to turn blue -- and then she passes out.

GRU:

Ok! Ok! I’ll fix it!

Gru panics and calls off-screen.

GRU:

Tim, Mark, Phil!

The three minions slide down three individual pneumatic

tubes. Margo and Edith stare at them, mouths open. What the

heck? Gru bends down to address the minions.

GRU:

This is very important! You have

to get the little girl a new

unicorn toy!

The minions confer with each other. They look unsure as to

what a toy is.

GRU:

Hey hey hey! A toy! Go! And

hurry.

The three minions turn and take off.

MARGO:

What are those?

GRU:

They are my...cousins. Jerry,

Stuart!

Two more minions appear. Gru points to the girls.

39

GRU:

Watch them and keep them away from

me please.

They nod.

EXT:
STREET - DAY

Dave and the other two minions drive a little car down the

street disguised as dad, mom, and child.

A little girl waves to them as they drive by.

EXT:
MALL MART - CONTINUOUS

They pull into a handicapped parking space.

INT:
MALL MART - DAY

The minions walk into the store amazed. It is filled with

amazing stuff.

The baby minion shakes up a 2 liter bottle of soda. He fills

with the bubbly liquid and begins to expand. Too much! The

bottle pops out of his mouth and flies across the store...

and returns like a boomerang, crashing into the baby minion!

Another minion hops up on a large vibrating recliner. The

baby minion flies across the screen in the background.

The mom minion catches a glimpse of herself in a bank of tv

monitors. She notices the karaoke machine and gets an idea.

Finally all the minions converge at the Karaoke and engage in

a rousing rendition of Copacabana.

INT:
GRU’S LAIR - EVENING

Toilet paper is covering everything. The three girls and the

two minions celebrate.

And then Gru comes stomping into the room.

Edith points to the minions.

EDITH:

It was your cousin’s idea.

MINION:

Whaaaa?!

40

GRU:

Okay, bedtime!

MARGO, EDITH, AGNES

Awwwwwwwwww.

JERRY & STUART

Awwwwww.

GRU:

(to Jerry and Stuart)

Not you two!

JERRY & STUART

Yay!

INT:
GIRLS’ ROOM - NIGHT

Gru and the girls enter the room. The girls stare at their

beds:
NUCLEAR WARHEAD CASINGS which have been turned into

bunk beds. PLOP-PLOP-PLOP. Gru drops them inside, anxious

to get them to sleep.

GRU:

Okay-dokey, beddy-bye. All tucked

in. Sweet dreams.

Margo's the last one he puts in bed.

MARGO:

Just so you know, you’re never

gonna be my dad.

GRU:

I think I can live with that.

Margo reacts to Gru’s response--not what she was expecting.

EDITH:

Are these beds made out of bombs?

GRU:

Yes, but they are very old and

highly unlikely to blow up. But

try not to toss and turn.

Edith admires the bomb bed.

EDITH:

Cool.

Agnes holds up a book.

41

AGNES:

Will you read us a bedtime story?

GRU:

No.

AGNES:

But we can’t go to sleep without a

bedtime story.

GRU:

Well then it’s going to be a long

night for you, isn’t it?

Gru begins to leave the girls’ room.

GRU:

So good night, sleep tight, don’t

let the bed bugs bite.

Because...there are literally

thousands of them.

(beat, then whispers)

Oh, and there’s probably something

in your closet.

He turns out the light and closes the door.

The girls hear the scary noise through the door. Agnes is

clearly a little nervous, and hides under the covers.

MARGO:

He’s just kidding, Agnes.

Suddenly the door opens. It’s the three minions, still in

their disguises. The one dressed as a baby approaches Agnes.

Agnes covers her face in fear.

The baby minion gives Agnes the TOILET BRUSH that has now

been dressed as a unicorn.

AGNES:

It’s beautiful.

She gives him a kiss. The minion blushes and runs out of the

room, followed by the other two minions. Agnes holds the

toilet brush tight and closes her eyes.

EXT:
GRU’S HOUSE - MORNING

Gru looks in through the open front door.

42

GRU:

Girls! Let’s go! Time to deliver

the cookies!

The girls come through the front door wearing ballet tutus.

MARGO:

Okay, but first we’re going to go

to dance class.

GRU:

Actually, we’re going to have to

skip the dance class today.

MARGO:

Actually, we can’t skip the dance

class today. We have a big recital

coming up. We're doing an excerpt

from Swan Lake.

AGNES:

Yeah, Swan Lake.

GRU:

That’s fantastic, wonderful. But

we’re going to deliver cookies.

(heads for the vehicle)

Come on.

Margo gives the other two girls a look.

MARGO:

No.

GRU:

(a bit shocked)

No?

MARGO:

We’re not going to deliver cookies

until we do dance class.

GRU:

Well, I am not driving you to dance

class, so if you want to go you are

going to have to walk yourselves.

The girls start walking.

GRU:

What are you doing?

Without even looking back, Margo calls out.

43

MARGO:

Walking to dance class.

GRU:

Yeah...ok, fine. You just keep

walking because I’m really not

driving you.

MARGO (O.S.)

Okay!

Gru is starting to lose it.

GRU:

You are going to suffer the wrath

of Gru! Seriously I’m going to

count to three, and you had better

be in this car!

The girls keep walking.

GRU:

Here we go! One...two...!

INT:
DANCE STUDIO - SAME

We SMASH cut onto Gru just as the dance teacher speaks.

DANCE TEACHER:

Three...and four...and five and

lift...and stretch.

Gru is directly in the center of a long row of moms, holding

all of the girls’ things.

We pull out on a long row of MOMS in the waiting room. And

there is Gru in the middle of it all, holding all of the

girls’ girly stuff: dolls, clothes, etc. He’s in hell.

Agnes runs up to him holding out a TICKET.

AGNES:

Here you go.

GRU:

What is this?

AGNES:

Your ticket to the dance recital.

You are coming, right?

44

GRU:

(completely insincere)

Of course, of course. I have pins

and needles that I’m sitting on.

AGNES:

Pinkie promise?

Agnes holds out a pinkie. Gru stares at it. Notices the

other girls are watching. Will do whatever it takes to get

these cookies delivered. Reluctantly holds out his pinkie.

GRU:

Oh yes, my pinkie promises.

AGNES:

Ah!

They pinkie promise. All of the moms sitting next to Gru bat

their eyelashes, completely taken by Gru’s parenting.

EXT:
VECTOR’S FORTRESS - DAY

Gru’s surveillance van is parked down the street from

Vector’s place.

INT:
GRU’S VAN - SAME

Gru addresses the girls, who are dressed in their uniforms,

and stand next to the wagon stacked with cookie boxes.

GRU:

Alright, our first customer is a

man named Vector.

Margo looks at her order form.

MARGO:

But he’s a “V”. You know, we’re

supposed to start with the A’s,

then we go to the B’s, then we go

to the --

GRU:

Yes, yes, I went to kindergarten, I

know how the alphabet works!

(catching himself)

I, I was just thinking that it

might be nice to deliver Mr.

Vector’s first, that is all.

The girls nod.

45

EXT:
VECTOR’S FORTRESS - MOMENTS LATER

BAM! The van door slams shut, and Margo, Edith and Agnes

make their way down the sidewalk toward Vector’s place.

GRU:

It’s almost over...it’s almost

over.

INT:
GRU’S VAN - SAME

Gru watches the girls on the video screen. They enter the

gate and enter the house.

INT:
VECTOR’S FORTRESS - SAME

Vector greets them at the door.

VECTOR:

Ah girls, welcome back to the

Fortress of Vectortude. (laughs)

Do you have my cookies for me?

The girls bring their wagon into Vector’s place.

Gru is typing on a keyboard. Cookiebot Microsoft software

begins to run on Gru’s computer.

Margo consults her order form as the other two girls put

Vector’s boxes of cookies on the counter. Including the

coconutties box with the robotic cookies in it.

MARGO:

Four boxes of minty mints, two

toffee totes, two caramel clumpies

and fifteen boxes of coconutties.

VECTOR:

Exactly. I’d like to see somebody

else order that many cookies.

Vector throws his head back in a cocky swagger.

VECTOR:

Not likely! Name one person who

ordered more cookies than me.

Margo glares back at Vector.

MARGO:

That will be 52 dollars.

46

VECTOR:

Right.

The side of the coconutties box on Vector’s counter flips

open, and TWELVE ROBOTIC COOKIES scamper out. They quickly

run a scan and locate the device.

INT:
GRU’S VAN - SAME

Gru sits in the back of the van, looking at a TV monitor,

controlling the robotic cookies.

INT:
VECTOR’S FORTRESS - SAME

Vector pulls out cash from his fanny pack.

VECTOR:

...seven, eight, nine, oh Tic Tacs.

The robotic cookies leap off of the counter and run down the

hall.

INT:
VECTOR’S FORTRESS - SAME

Vector finishes counting his money. Agnes stares at his

outfit.

VECTOR:

...eight, nine...

AGNES:

Why are you wearing your pajamas?

VECTOR:

These aren’t pajamas. This is a

warm-up suit.

INT:
VECTOR’S FORTRESS - VAULT

The cookie robots form a ladder to reach the security panel

beside the vault. The robots shut down Vector’s security

system.

The vault door is slowly opened revealing-- the Shrink Ray.

INT:
VECTOR’S FORTRESS - SAME

EDITH:

What are you warming up for?

47

VECTOR:

Stuff.

AGNES:

What sort of stuff?

VECTOR:

Super cool stuff you wouldn’t

understand.

AGNES:

Like sleeping?

VECTOR:

They are not pajamas!

INT:
VECTOR’S FORTRESS - VAULT

The cookie robots run into the vault and onto the far wall.

They quickly burn a hole in the wall the size of the shrink

ray. Gru and two minions quickly jump in the vault making

karate SOUNDS.

INT:
VECTOR’S FORTRESS - SAME

Vector finally finds the money.

VECTOR:

Ah! Here you go. Fifty-two big

ones.

Vector hands Margo the money.

INT:
VECTOR'S FORTRESS - VAULT

Gru and the minions struggle to lift the heavy shrink-ray

case. While this is happening, the cookie robots seal up the

hole in the vault trapping Gru and the minions. One of the

minions SHRIEKS in panic.

EXT:
VECTOR'S FORTRESS

VECTOR:

Bye!

The girls leave his yard and head for the gate. Vector

finally takes a bite of the cookie. The cookie makes a funny

noise and he has a hard time chewing it-- it's a robot.

48

INT:
VECTOR'S FORTRESS - AIR DUCTS

Gru and the minions struggle to get the heavy Shrink Ray into

an air duct. One minion grabs the other minion and shakes

him till he glows -- like a glow-stick, it illuminates the

darkened vent.

112 They race through the air duct carrying the shrink ray.

INT:
VECTOR’S FORTRESS - AIR VENTS

They continue on running through the vents until they see a

way out. Gru is carrying the shrink ray and a minion.

WHOOMP! Gru falls through a weak spot in the floor.

INT:
VECTOR'S FORTRESS - LIVING ROOM

Gru dangles precariously above Vector, who is mindlessly

watching TV. Below Gru is Vector's PET SHARK which swims

freely through his fortress (under his very chic glass

floors). The shark notices the tender morsel that is Gru

hanging by a thread. He is STRAINING to hold the shrink ray.

The shark LUNGES striking the glass floor.

VECTOR:

What the...? Quiet down, fish.

The shark continues to hit the glass floor.

VECTOR:

Down, boy.

THUMP! A huge LUNGE knocks Gru and his minions from the

ceiling, but it also knocks Vector off his couch, lodging his

head into his bucket of snacks. Gru takes this opportunity

to make a break for it.

Vector looks around, not sure what just happened.

EXT:
VECTOR’S FORTRESS

Gru comes running out, waving his pants around in his arms.

GRU:

(laughs)

We did it! C’mon girls, let’s go.

A split second later the minions come running out and smack

into the side of Gru’s car.

49

INT:
GRU’S CAR - DAY

Gru and the girls drive home. Gru is feeling very good.

MARGO:

But what about the other people who

ordered cookies?

GRU:

Life is full of disappointments.

For some people.

Agnes sees something out the window. She points.

AGNES:

Aaaiighhh!

The vehicle swerves as Gru tries to figure out what is wrong.

GRU:

Don’t do that.

Out the window is the MOST FUN AMUSEMENT PARK EVER! The

girls stare out the windows at it, instantly excited.

AGNES:

Super Silly Fun Land! Can we go?

Please?

GRU:

No.

EDITH:

But we’ve never been! And it’s the

funnest place on earth!

GRU:

Don’t care.

GIRLS:

PLEASE? WE’LL NEVER ASK FOR

ANYTHING ELSE EVER AGAIN!

PLEASE???

Gru thinks to himself...

MINDFLASH:

Gru is standing at the base of a huge rocket-powered

rollercoaster frame. The girls are in the first cart. He

pulls a lever and the girls shoot off into the distance.

END MINDFLASH.

50

Gru snaps back to reality, his plan cemented.

GRU:

Liiiight bulb.

EXT:
SUPER SILLY FUN LAND - DAY

Gru stands at the turnstile. He laughs as he checks out the

exit to the park.

Gru and the girls are in Super Silly Fun Land. The girls get

into a rollercoaster car.

EDITH:

Come on.

GRU:

Goodbye have fun.

Gru heads towards the exit.

The PARK WORKER turns to Gru.

PARK WORKER:

Uh, Sorry dude-- they can't ride

without an adult.

Gru stares at the park worker.

GRU:

What? Ugh.

EXT:
ROLLERCOASTER - LATER

CLOSE ON Gru’s face. PULL BACK TO REVEAL that he is on the

rollercoaster as it slowly goes up an incredibly steep

incline. His knees stick out of the tiny car.

Then suddenly the car plummets down. The girls scream,

having the time of their lives. Gru screams, not having the

time of his.

EXT:
ROLLERCOASTER - LATER

The rollercoaster goes through several loops and corkscrews

in a row. The girls are loving it. Gru is getting whipped

around mercilessly.

51

EXT:
SUPER SILLY FUN LAND - DAY

Several hours of rollercoaster riding later, the girls and a

beaten and battered Gru leave the ride, passing by a photo of

them on a video screen--the girls having the time of their

life. Gru about to throw up, frowns.

Suddenly Agnes sees something off-screen and points.

AGNES (O.S.)

Oh my gosh look at that fluffy

unicorn!

A FLUFFY UNICORN is the main prize at the shooting gallery.

AGNES:

He’s so fluffy I’m gonna die!!!

MARGO:

You gotta let us play for it.

GRU:

No, no, no.

AGNES:

Come on!

Gru sighs and addresses the slimy VENDOR.

GRU:

How much for the fluffy unicorn?

VENDOR:

(chuckles)

Well...it is not for sale. But all

you gotta do to win it is knock

down that little spaceship there.

The vendor points to the smallest of the spaceship targets.

VENDOR:

It’s easy!

Gru nods. He slaps a dollar bill on the table. The vendor

slurps on his drink, and presses a button that opens the

curtains and readies the cork guns.

AGNES:

Yay!

They take aim and open fire! POP! POP! POP! They all

miss.

52

AGNES:

Again!

MARGO:

Wait!

EDITH:

Ah come on. One more time.

AGNES:

Just one more! I accidentally

closed my eyes!

Gru slaps down another bill.

POP! POP! POP! This time Agnes’s cork hits the target.

AGNES:

I hit it, I hit it! Did you see

that? I hit it!

The video sign above the game reads: “YOU LOSE.” Gru reacts.

EDITH:

Awww.

GRU:

Whoa, whoa, whoa...What was that?

She hit that! I saw that with my

own eyes!

The Vendor gives Gru a smarmy smile. He flips through a

stack of dollar bills.

VENDOR:

Hey, buddy. Let me explain

something to you.

The vendor points to the back of the range.

VENDOR:

Ya see that little tin spaceship?

You see how it’s not knocked over?

Do you know what that means,

professor?

The vendor leans over the counter and gets right in Gru’s

face.

VENDOR:

It means you DON’T GET THE UNICORN!

Someone’s got a frowny face.

Better luck next time!

53

Gru stares at the vendor, his blood beginning to boil. He

remains calm and smiles at the vendor.

GRU:

Okay, my turn.

Gru calmly reaches into his coat and pulls out a small gun

that transforms into an enormous RAY GUN.

BLAM! A bright blue RAY BLAST connects with the back of the

shooting range, leaving no sign of the targets just a giant

gaping hole. Gru turns to the vendor.

GRU:

Knocked over.

The vendor trembles, silenced. Gru pockets his weapon and

grabs the unicorn. He hands it to Agnes. Margo and Edith

cheer and Agnes hugs the animal tightly.

AGNES:

IT’S SO FLUFFY!

MARGO:

That was awesome!

EDITH:

You blew up the whole thing!

AGNES:

Let’s go destroy another game!

And then it happens: actually connecting with the girls and

enjoying being with them, Gru allows a small smile to creep

across his face.

INT:
GRU’S LAIR - NIGHT

Gru and the girls return to the lair later that night,

laughing and sharing in the excitement of the day. Gru’s

arms are full of goodies and souvenirs from Super Silly Fun

Land. Gru and the girl’s faces are painted.

Gru hears a THROAT CLEARING.

They all turn and see Dr. Nefario waiting for them. He

stares at Gru who turns to the girls.

DR. NEFARIO

Gru, do you mind if I had a quick

word?

54

GRU:

Okay, girls, go play.

The girls run off with their goodies. Gru turns back to Dr.

Nefario. Attempts a smile.

GRU:

I got the Shrink Ray.

(holds out a treat)

Cotton candy?

DR. NEFARIO

We have twelve days until the moon

is in optimum position. We can’t

afford any distractions.

Gru nods.

GRU:

Get me Perkins.

INT:
CONFERENCE ROOM - NIGHT

Two minions carry a presentation stand to Gru.

A Large Screen TV turns on revealing Perkins at his desk.

GRU:

Sorry to bother you Mr. Perkins,

but I figured that you would want

to see this.

MR. PERKINS

What?

Gru aims the Shrink Ray at a minion on his sofa and fires it.

The minion shrinks to a tiny size.

Another minion comes up from behind the couch and flicks the

shrunken minion through the air. Gru catches the SCREAMING

minion midair and squeezes it like a squeaky toy.

Mr. Perkins looks surprised.

MR. PERKINS

Well done, Gru. Rather impressive.

Gru smiles. Everything’s going his way. He reaches for a

set of slick art cards on an easel.

GRU:

Now the rest of the plan is simple.

(first card)

55

(MORE)

I fly to the moon.

(second card)

I shrink the moon.

(third card)

I grab the moon.

(fourth card)

I sit on the toilet. What?

The fourth card is a child’s drawing of Gru sitting on the

toilet. It is crudely signed EDITH.

He shoots an angry look off to the side, then turns back to

the camera.

GRU:

Sorry, sorry, would you excuse me

for just one second?

Gru smiles then slips out of frame. Mr. Perkins furrows his

brow. Gru storms over to the giggling girls, who stand in

the doorway. He whisper-yells.

GRU:

I told you not to touch my things.

I told you, I told you, I told you

a thousand times!

MARGO:

(not really paying

attention)

Can we order pizza?

GRU:

Pizza? You just had lunch!

EDITH:

Not now--for dinner.

GRU:

(gritting his teeth)

Dinner?! Just fine, fine, fine,

whatever! Just get back in there.

MARGO:

Can we get stuffed crust?

EDITH AND AGNES AND MINION

(with wonderment)

Ooooh, stuffed crust!

Gru does his best to keep it together.

GRU:

I’ll stuff you all in the crust!

56

GRU (CONT'D)

AGNES:

(giggles)

You’re funny.

GRU:

Just don’t come out of that room

again!

Gru shoves them back out of the room, shuts the door and

rushes back to the podium.

Gru races back to the video monitor and smiles.

GRU:

Alright, sorry about that. Where

were we?

MR. PERKINS

(irritated)

You were sitting on the toilet.

GRU:

No, no, no! No, I’m sorry. That

was a little attempt at humor. I

know how much you like to laugh...

(off Perkins’ grim face)

...inside. Now I was saying--

Suddenly a sound comes from offscreen. Gru glances over to

the door. It’s open again. Where are they?

MR. PERKINS

You don’t seem terribly focused,

Gru.

GRU:

Believe me, I am completely

focused. I--

Just then, the girls’ faces pop up in the TV's frame.

EDITH:

Hello? Woah! That guy is huge!

AGNES:

Are we on TV?

MR. PERKINS

What are those? Children?!

Gru rushes after the girls. Shouting in hushed tones.

57

GRU:

(to girls)

What are you doing?? I told you to

stay out of here!

MR. PERKINS

Gru! Stop...

The girls enter with a freeze ray and ZAP Gru!

GRU:

No, no...

EDITH:

Freeze ray.

MR. PERKINS

Mr. Gru,

GRU:

Yeehaha, ho!

Gru is frozen in a block of ice. He GRUNTS as he waddles

back to Mr. Perkins.

GRU:

As I was saying...

MR. PERKINS

No need to continue. I’ve seen

quite enough.

GRU:

But my plan was--

MR. PERKINS

Is a great plan. I love everything

about your plan. Except for one

thing:
You.

Gru is stung by this. We ZOOM into his face.

EXT:
BACKYARD - FLASHBACK

Little Gru approaches his mom, who is watering her flowers.

He holds out a picture.

LITTLE GRU:

Look, Mom! I drew a picture of me

landing on the moon!

She looks at it. Unimpressed.

58

GRU'S MOM

Eh.

Little Gru then produces a SCALE MODEL of the rocket in the

picture.

LITTLE GRU:

Look mom! I made a prototype of

the rocket out of macaroni!

She looks at it. Still unimpressed.

GRU'S MOM

Eh.

Little Gru then points to an ACTUAL ROCKET he's built in his

backyard.

LITTLE GRU:

Look mom! I made a real rocket

based on the macaroni prototype!

He presses a button and the rocket takes off into the sky.

Gru's Mom watches it go.

GRU'S MOM

Eh.

Little Gru is crushed.

END FLASHBACK.

INT.- CONFERENCE ROOM

He falls back breaking the block of ice that had encased him.

He gets up and stares at Mr. Perkins, confused.

GRU:

I...don’t understand.

MR. PERKINS

Let’s face reality, Gru. You’ve

been at this for far too long, with

far too little success. We’re

gonna put our faith, our money,

into a...well, a younger villain.

GRU:

But, I...

Mr. Perkins smirks.

59

MR. PERKINS

It’s over. Goodbye, Gru.

He holds a APPLE in his hand and CRUSHES it. The screen goes

black. Gru just stands there.

INT:
GRU’S UNDERGROUND LAB - NIGHT

Gru walks into the lab. Several minions are playing pingpong while others surround Dr. Nefario.

GRU:

Now I know there have been some

rumors going around that the bank

is no longer funding us. Well, I

am here to put those rumors to

rest. They are true.

The crowd reacts. Oh no. It’s at this point we reveal

Margo, Edith and Agnes watching from just outside the door.

They exchange looks and then run off.

GRU:

In terms of money...we have no

money. So how WILL we get to the

moon? The answer is clear...we

won't.

Gru drops defeated into an empty chair. The crowd is even

more depressed.

GRU:

We are doomed. Now would probably

be a good time to look for other

employment options. I know, I have

fired up my resume, as I suggest

that all of you do as well.

The crowd sags even more. Gru stares back at everyone,

feeling horrible. Then he feels a tug on his jacket. Gru

looks down and sees Margo, Edith and Agnes. He frowns.

GRU:

What is it? Can’t you see I am in

the middle of a pep talk?

Agnes produces a PIGGY BANK. Gru stares at it.

He takes the piggy bank, shakes it and it rattles. He opens

it and several coins fall out onto his hand. He stares at

them. Then looks at the girls. Feeling things he’s probably

never felt before.

60

Then one by one the minions produce their own treasured

possessions:
wallets, mounted fish, wads of money, a royal

crown.

The minions pile up whatever they’ve got in front of Gru.

The girls smile. Gru looks at all of them with their

contributions. A smile creeps across his face as he gets an

idea.

GRU:

Yes. Yes! We will build our own

rocket! Using this and whatever

else we can find! Grab everything!

Hit the junkyards! Take apart the

cars! Who needs the bank!?

The crowd, including the girls, cheers. Gru smiles. MONTAGE

MUSIC KICKS IN.

INT:
GRU’S LAB - NIGHT

The rocket is in its very beginning stage. Just an engine,

and a frame. They are lowering a recliner into the cockpit

as Gru and Dr. Nefario watch on. A minion who is napping on

the recliner is knocked off and falls.

INT:
GRU’S LAIR - DAY

Margo, Edith and Agnes practice ballet in their tutus. A

couple of minions watch, curious. One of them attempts one

of the ballet moves. The other one punches him.

INT:
GRU’S LAB - DAY

Dr. Nefario and Gru are working on one of the Rocket engines.

The status screen behind them flashes from STABLE to DANGER.

Gru hands Dr. Nefario a tool and he is able to fix it. Gru

continues to assist Dr. Nefario in building the engine.

INT:
LAUNDRY ROOM - DAY

Gru opens up his dryer. The girls run and grab their PINK

TUTUS out of it. Gru then removes a pink sock. He next

pulls out his spacesuit. It has turned pink.

61

INT:
GRU’S LAIR - DAY

Gru enters the main room to find his mom sitting on the sofa

with the girls, looking through an old scrapbook. She points

to a picture.

GRU:

Huh? Mom, what are you doing here?

GRU’S MOM

...and there he is in the bathtub.

Oh! Look at his little buns.

INSERT:
picture of Naked Baby Gru in the bath on his stomach

with his buns sticking up.

The girls giggle. Gru is mortified.

GRU:

Mom? Not cool.

She points to another picture in the scrapbook.

GRU’S MOM

And here he is all dressed up in

his Sunday best.

MARGO:

He looks like a girl.

GRU’S MOM

Ha ha. Yes he does. An ugly girl.

INT:
GRU’S LAIR - DAY

Margo, Edith and Agnes are again practicing ballet. Now the

two minions are practicing with them. They are both really

into it.

INT:
GRU’S LAB

The rocket is much further along. They do test run of the

rockets as Dr. Nefario, Gru and a minion look on.

The girls have decided to use the rocket exhaust to roast a

few marshmallows.

Gru walks over and tries a few of the warm treats. He brings

back a few marshmallows for Dr. Nefario who swats them away.

62

INT:
GRU’S LAIR - DAY

Kyle sneaks up on the girls who are putting make-up on a

large doll head. Right before he is about to pounce, Agnes

turns and hugs him.

AGNES:

You’re funny.

INT:
GRU'S LAB - DAY

Gru crosses out another date on his wall calendar. The dance

ticket is paper clipped to the same day as the note STEAL THE

MOON.

The girls call to Gru. He turns and sees they have given

Kyle a makeover. He's as fluffy and prissy as a poodle.

INT:
KITCHEN - DAY

Gru stands in front of a flaming stove. He serves them

pancakes in evil shapes: a body outline, a dagger, a time

bomb, etc.

EDITH:

Yes! Mine’s shaped like a dead

guy!

INT:
GRU’S LAB - SAME

Dr. Nefario is back working on one of the Rocket engines.

The status screen behind him flashes from STABLE to DANGER.

Dr. Nefario holds out his hand but Gru is not there to hand

him tools. Dr. Nefario looks up trying to locate Gru. The

status screen flashes from DANGER to a FLASHING SKULL AND

CROSSBONES.

INT:
KITCHEN - SAME

Gru is showing off for the girls who are having the time of

their lives.

Dr. Nefario walks into the room just in time to have a

pancake fall on his head.

INT:
PERKINS OFFICE - DAY

Mr. Perkins sits at his desk. The receptionist buzzes in.

63

RECEPTIONIST:

Mr. Perkins? Your son is here.

Mr. Perkins smiles.

MR. PERKINS

Send him in.

The Receptionist leaves. And then through the door steps--

Vector. Trying to act as if everything’s okay.

VECTOR:

Hey, Dad. You wanted to see me?

MR. PERKINS

Yes I did, Victor.

VECTOR:

I am not Victor anymore. Victor

was my nerd name. Now I am Vector.

MR. PERKINS

Sit down.

Vector sits down nervously.

MR. PERKINS

Do you know where the Shrink Ray

is?

VECTOR:

Duh, back at my place.

MR. PERKINS

Oh is that right back at your

place? Oh that’s cool. I guess

Gru must just have one that LOOKS

EXACTLY LIKE IT!

Mr. Perkins flips open his laptop, which displays a freeze

frame from the video conference. It shows Gru holding the

shrink ray. And the girls in the background. Vector stares

in shock. Then points to the girls.

VECTOR:

Hey! Those girls sold me cookies!

MR. PERKINS

Do you have any idea how lucrative

this moon heist could be? I give

you the opportunity of a lifetime

and you just blow it!

64

Vector stares back at his dad. Trying to figure out a way to

save face.

VECTOR:

No I didn’t.

MR. PERKINS

Oh really?

VECTOR:

You just wait until Gru sees my

latest weapon:
Squid Launcher. Oh

yeah!

He produces a SQUID LAUNCHER. He fires it over the balcony.

It connects with a BANK CUSTOMER off screen.

BANK CUSTOMER (O.S.)

(screams)

There’s a squid on my face!

Vector c*cks the squid launcher as threateningly as you can

cock a fish weapon, causing a new squid to appear.

VECTOR:

Don’t worry. The moon is as good

as ours.

INT:
GIRLS’ ROOM - NIGHT

Gru tries to put the girls to bed, but they’re running all

over the place.

GRU:

Come on, it’s bedtime! Did you

brush your teeth? Let me smell,

let me smell. You did not. Put on

your PJs! Hold still! Okay,

seriously, seriously! This is,

this is beddy bye time. Right now.

I am not kidding around. I mean

it!

EDITH:

But we’re not tired.

GRU:

Well I am tired!

Agnes holds up a copy of the book Sleepy Kittens.

AGNES:

Will you read us a bedtime story?

65

GRU:

No.

AGNES:

Pretty please?

GRU:

The physical appearance of the

please makes no difference. It is

still no. So, go to sleep.

EDITH:

But we can’t. We’re all hyper.

MARGO:

And without a bedtime story we’ll

just keep getting up and bugging

you. All night long.

The girls look up at Gru. He sighs.

GRU:

Ahh, fine.

The girls smile expectantly. Gru takes the book from Agnes

and sits down on the floor next to the girls’ beds.

GRU:

Alright, alright. “Sleepy

Kittens.” Sleepy Kittens?

He opens the book, revealing that there are three KITTEN

FINGER PUPPETS attached to it.

GRU:

What are these?

AGNES:

Puppets. You use them when you

tell the story.

He sticks three of his fingers through the back of the book,

operating the finger puppets. Then begins reading.

GRU:

Okay, let’s get this over with.

(reading)

Three little kittens love to play

They had fun in the sun all day

Then their mother came out and

said,

“Time for kittens to go to bed.”

Gru looks up from the book.

66

GRU:

Wow, this is garbage. You actually

like this?

AGNES:

Keep reading!

EDITH:

Come on!

Gru shakes his head, GROANS, and turns the page.

GRU:

Okay, alright, alright, alright...

Three little kittens started to

bawl,

“Mommy, we’re not tired at all.”

Their Mother smiled and said with a

purr,

“Fine, but at least you should

brush your fur.”

EDITH:

Now you brush the fur.

There is a little BRUSH attached to the page. Gru picks it

up and unenthusiastically brushes the puppet kittens’ fur.

The girls smile.

GRU:

This is literature? A two year old

could have written this. Alright.

He turns the page and continues reading.

GRU:

Three little kittens with fur all

brushed

Said, “We can’t sleep, we feel too

rushed.”

Their mother replied with a voice

like silk,

“Fine, but at least you should

drink your milk.”

AGNES:

Now make them drink the milk.

He makes the puppets drink milk from the saucer depicted on

the page.

67

GRU:

(groaning)

I don’t like this book. This is

going on forever.

He turns the page. As he does Agnes snuggles up next to him.

GRU:

Three little kittens with milk all

gone,

Rubbed their eyes and started to

yawn,

All three girls unconsciously yawn. As does Gru.

GRU:

“We can’t sleep, can’t even try.”

Then their mother sang a lullaby.

Gru turns the page.

GRU “Goodnight, kittens, close your

eyes

Sleep in peace until you rise.

Tho’ while you sleep we are apart,

(starts to get emotional)

“Your mommy...loves you with all

her heart.”

Tears well up in his eyes. The girls look up at him.

Realizing what’s happening, he immediately slams the book

closed.

GRU:

The End! Okay, goodnight!

And he quickly runs for the door.

AGNES:

Wait!

Gru stops.

GRU:

What?

AGNES:

What about goodnight kisses?

Gru tries to keep his emotions in check as he responds.

68

GRU:

No! No! No! There will be no

kissing or hugging or kissing.

He leaves. Margo turns to Agnes.

MARGO:

He's not going to kiss us

goodnight, Agnes.

AGNES:

I like him. He’s nice.

EDITH:

But scary.

AGNES:

Like Santa.

INT:
HALLWAY - NIGHT

Gru walks down the hallway, past the framed “Gru Family Tree”

on the wall. Does a double-take, noticing that the girls

have drawn with crayons below it to make themselves part of

the family. Nefario walks up behind him.

DR. NEFARIO

Only forty-eight hours to the

launch. And all systems are go.

Gru is uncomfortable and begins picking up after the girls:

shoes, socks, toys, goldfish crackers, etc.

GRU:

Um...about that. I was thinking

that maybe we could move the date

of the heist.

DR. NEFARIO

(ready to explode)

Please tell me that this not as a

result of the girls' dance recital?

Is it?

GRU:

No-- the recital? Don’t...that’s

stupid. I just think it’s kinda

weird to do it on a Saturday. I

was thinking maybe a heist is a

Tuesday thing...right?

69

DR. NEFARIO

(exploding)

Gru! You and I have been working

on this for years. It’s everything

we’ve dreamed of! Your chance to

make history:
become “The Man Who

Stole the Moon!” But these girls

are becoming a major distraction.

They need to go.

(delivering the ultimatum)

If you don’t do something about it,

I will.

Nefario gives Gru a meaningful look. Gru is stunned by the

ultimatum. What’s he going to do?

GRU:

I understand.

And he leaves. Dr. Nefario stands there, deep in thought.

DR. NEFARIO

Good.

INT:
GRU’S GARAGE - DAY

We see Gru’s SHRUNKEN SHIP parked in the garage. Some

minions are hanging out by the Xerox machine, copying their

butts. They giggle each time a copy comes out.

MINION:

(giggles)

Butt.

And then something happens. The ship begins rumbling.

And then expands back to its normal size. Uh-oh.

The minions don’t even notice and continue to copy their

butts.

INT:
GRU'S LAIR - DAY

Gru sits on the floor having a tea party with the girls. He

pours a cup for the fluffy unicorn they won at Super Silly

Fun Land.

GRU:

...Alright, now when we put our

cups together we will make the

clink sound with our mouths.

Ready? Edith?

70

GRU AND EDITH:

Clink.

GRU:

There we go. And now we drink!

They all take a sip.

GRU:

And Agnes?

GRU AND AGNES:

Clink!

GRU:

Very good.

The DOORBELL RINGS. Gru heads out.

GRU:

Excuse me girls.

GIRLS:

Aw. Come on.

GRU:

Don’t worry I’ll be back. Keep

clinking.

INT:
GRU’S LAIR - CONTINUOUS

Gru opens the front door. Revealing Miss Hattie. She

doesn’t look happy.

GRU:

Oh, Miss Hattie. What are you

doing here?

MISS HATTIE:

I’m here for the girls. I received

a call that you wanted to return

them.

This hits Gru like a ton of bricks.

MISS HATTIE:

And, also I did purchase a Spanish

dictionary.

She SLAPS Gru across the face with the dictionary.

71

MISS HATTIE:

I didn’t like what you said.

GRU:

But...I...

Gru hears a THROAT CLEARING. Turns and sees Dr. Nefario

watching from across the room. Realizing he has no choice,

he turns back to Miss Hattie.

GRU:

Oh. I will get the girls ready.

EXT:
GRU’S HOUSE - DAY

Gru carries their bags to the car as the girls line up next

to Miss Hattie’s car. Eyes welling up with tears. She’s

waiting impatiently for the goodbyes to be over. Standing

across from them is Gru. Determined not to let any feelings

show.

As Agnes is about to get into the car she turns and grabs

Gru’s leg.

AGNES:

Don’t let her take us, Mr. Gru!

Tell her that you want to keep us!

Gru wants to respond. But can’t do it. The disappointment

in the girls’ eyes is devastating.

Miss Hattie snorts. She’s had enough of this.

MISS HATTIE:

Alright girls. Come on, let’s go.

MARGO:

Goodbye Mr. Gru. Thanks for

everything.

SLAM! Miss Hattie shuts the door. Then fixes Gru with a

stern, judgmental look, hops into the car and drives off.

Gru watches the car go, his heart breaking. Dr. Nefario

approaches him.

DR. NEFARIO

I did it for you own good. Come

on, let’s go get that moon.

Dr. Nefario smiles. Gru looks at Dr. Nefario. Somehow he’s

not feeling the same degree of excitement.

72

GRU:

Right.

Nefario watches as Gru heads back to the house, clearly

depressed. Dr. Nefario sighs. Watching the scene from the

window are a couple minions, sobbing uncontrollably.

INT:
GRU'S LAIR - DAY

Gru sits alone at his table eating lunch.

INT:
GRU'S LAIR - DAY

Gru sees the minions busy at work cleaning the wall where the

girls had extended his family tree to include them. He makes

a face.

INT.- HATTIE’S OFFICE

We see a CU of Margo’s face. We pull out and its revealed

she’s in the box of shame...along with the other girls, in

their own individual boxes.

INT:
GRU'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Gru lies in bed. He looks at his hand, reaches and pulls up

the covers to find the head (ala the horse’s head in the

Godfather) of a doll.

Gru SCREAMS.

EXT:
GRU’S HOUSE

The peaceful serenity of Gru’s house is broken by his scream.

A flock of resting birds flap off into the distance.

INT:
MISSION CONTROL

Minions are working around the rocket and on the computers at

mission control.

INT:
GRU’S LAB - DAY

Gru walks through a tunnel in his PINK SPACE SUIT. He puts

on his helmet and looks at the rocket in all its glory.

73

INT:
FLASHBACK - DAY

We see Little Gru staring up at the moon, eyes filled with

hope and imagination.

INT:
GRU’S LAB - DAY

Back to reality. Gru steps onto a lift and he and Dave ride

it to the top of the rocket. Dave produces the ticket to the

recital and hands it to Gru. Gru looks at it.

GRU:

What is this for?

MINION:

(gibberish)

GRU:

The recital? I...I am the greatest

criminal mind of the century! I

don’t go to little girls’ dance

recitals!

Gru scoffs and turns back to the rocket, ready for his

mission.

Dave is barely able to catch the ticket without falling off

the platform. He sneaks up and sticks it in one of Gru’s

suit pockets. He whistles like nothing happened.

Gru steps into a hatch in the rocket.

INT:
ROCKET - DAY

Gru fastens his safety belt and the hatch door slams shut.

He continues to ready the ship for takeoff when Dr. Nefario’s

face appears on a screen, giving an update.

DR. NEFARIO (O.S.)

(on monitor)

Opening launch bay doors.

KA-CHONG! Suddenly a slit of sunlight appears through the

cockpit window as massive hangar doors open overhead.

INT:
GRU’S LAB - DAY

Dr. Nefario begins the countdown on the video monitor.

74

DR. NEFARIO

Commencing launch sequence, and we

are good to go in t-minus ten

seconds. Ten...nine...eight...

seven...

The rocket begins to rumble and smoke begins to come from the

base.

Minions run from their posts for cover.

DR. NEFARIO

Six...

EXT:
MR. MCDADE’S HOUSE.

Mr. McDade waxes his car, checking his reflection in the

hood. Suddenly the ground begins to rumble below his feet

and a shadow covers him. He looks up at the huge rocket

taking off from Gru’s backyard. His jaw drops.

Just then, Vector runs up beside McDade. McDade watches as

Vector pulls out his squid launcher and aims it at the rocket

and fires.

SPLAAAT! The squid connects with the rocket and sticks to

it. It’s attached to a line which is attached to Vector.

Vector hands the gun to Mr. McDade. The line quickly takes

up slack and--

THWOOSH! Vector is yanked into the sky, after the rocket.

EXT:
SKY - SAME

SHOOOOOOOM! The rocket tears through the sky, toward the

heavens. Vector goes up with it, attached by the squid line.

VECTOR:

Oh yeah!

EXT:
ROCKET - SAME

Vector climbs up the rope to the rocket.

INT:
ROCKET - SAME

Gru gets on the communicator.

GRU:

Nice work, doctor. All systems go.

75

And then, in the window--

Vector! An evil smile on his face.

VECTOR:

Boo-yah!

Gru jumps in shock. Then pushes down the toaster button on

the control panel.

EXT:
ROCKET - SAME

The whole of Gru’s rocket is now electrically charged.

Vector is zapped off the rocket when he is electrocuted.

VECTOR:

Aaaaiiigghhhhhh!

He falls through the air, headed straight for the ground

below. Then he remembers.

VECTOR:

My flight suit!

Vector pulls a ripcord and SAILS unfurl on either side of his

suit, making him look like a flying squirrel. The wind

catches the sails and Vector begins to soar across the sky.

VECTOR:

Oh yeah. Once again, the mighty

Vector--

SPLAT! He smacks right into the side of an electric tower.

VECTOR:

Aaaaiiigghhhhhh!

EXT:
SKY - SAME

The rocket reaches the edge of earth’s atmosphere.

The same floating minion from earlier happens to be in orbit.

He sees the rocket and barely manages to get out of the way!

INT:
ROCKET - SAME

Gru closes his eyes and holds on for dear life as the ship

violently shakes and rumbles. The view through the cockpit

goes from pale blue to deep purple to the blackness of space.

76

GRU:

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Suddenly the shaking stops and everything is still.

INT:
GRU’S LAB - DAY

The minions erupt in cheers.

INT:
ROCKET - SAME

Gru looks out the window at the moon in the starry distance.

A smile comes across his face.

EXT:
THE MOON - LATER

The massive pale sphere floats in space. Over the horizon,

Gru’s ship appears. The rockets power down and it silently

hovers above the lunar surface.

SSSSSSSST! Doors open and Gru emerges in a space suit. He

holds the Shrink Ray in his hands and faces the enormous

lunar body.

He stares up at moon. Its size is overwhelming. He feels

like a speck floating in front of it. He smiles and takes

aim at the pale yellow world in front of him. Breathes deep,

then--

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZCHEEEEEEEET! A BOLT OF ENERGY fires from the

gun and engulfs the moon. Then slowly, it begins to shrink.

Smaller and smaller. Gru’s eyes widen as the edges of the

moon come into view.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZCHEEEEET! The moon continues to shrink.

EXT:
OCEAN - DAY

A group of SURFERS ride massive waves, loving it.

SURFER:

(stoked)

Woooooo-hoooooo!

And then suddenly the waves collapse into nothing.

77

EXT:
FORREST - NIGHT

A werewolf howls at the moon but is changed back to a man

when the moon disappears. He darts back into the woods.

EXT:
THE MOON -

Gru’s hand reaches out to the TINY MOON.

GRU:

Ha! I’ve got it! I’ve got the

moon! I’ve got the moon!

Gru does a flip, unhindered by gravity and floats around and

around. He’s giddy as a school boy.

And then, subtly his mood changes. Somehow having the moon

isn’t as satisfying as he thought it would be.

Silently floating in the vastness of space, Gru looks small

and alone. And extremely unfulfilled.

Just then, something drifts out of his pocket. It’s the

ticket to the dance recital. Gru stares at it. Suddenly

wanting to be with the girls more than anything. He looks at

his watch.

GRU:

I can make it.

INT:
GRU’S LAB - DAY

Dr. Nefario and the shrunken minion manage the blinking,

flashing lights of ground control.

Suddenly the tiny minion begins to wobble. MRRRRUUUMPH! The

minion returns to its normal size!

DR. NEFARIO

Wait a minute. How...

MINION:

Kevin!

The minion kisses Kevin repeatedly.

EXT:
SPACE - DAY

SHOOOOOOOM! Gru’s rocket shoots through space like a bullet.

78

INT:
ROCKET - SAME

Gru steers the ship toward the earth, which grows larger in

the cockpit window. Pushing hard on the throttle.

GRU:

Come on, come on!

INT:
STAGE - SAME

The girls are behind the curtain. Agnes is peering out at

the audience. There is an empty chair in the front row. She

turns to Margo and Edith.

AGNES:

He’s still not here.

MARGO:

Why would he come? He gave us up.

AGNES:

But he pinkie promised!

The DANCE TEACHER shows up.

DANCE TEACHER:

Girls, girls-- places!

EDITH:

No, we can’t start yet! We’re

still expecting someone!

Agnes looks up at the dance teacher with puppy dog eyes.

AGNES:

Can we just wait a few more

minutes?

The dance teacher sighs.

DANCE TEACHER:

Alright. But just a few more

minutes.

When she leaves, Margo turns to Edith and Agnes.

MARGO:

He’s not coming, guys.

Edith and Agnes look shaken by this. Could it be true?

79

EXT:
SPACE - SAME

Gru’s ship approaches the edge of the Earth’s atmosphere.

In flames from the friction of re-entry.

INT:
GRU’S LAB - DAY

Dr. Nefario grabs the radio.

DR. NEFARIO

Gru, Gru can you hear me?

INT:
ROCKET

Gru grits his teeth as he tries to hold the ship steady.

GRU:

Aaaahhhhhhhhh!!!

INT:
GRU’S LAB - DAY

Dr. Nefario only gets back static from his call. He turns to

the minions.

DR. NEFARIO

Quick! We’ve got to warn him, and

fast!

Nefario hops on his old-person scooter...and shoots forward

at 2mph.

INT:
ROCKET - SAME

Gru grits his teeth as he tries to hold the ship steady,

flames flickering in the windows. Sweat rolls down Gru’s

face as the heat becomes unbearable.

GRU:

Aaaahhhhhhhhh!!!

INT:
DANCE STUDIO - SAME

The lights dim. Classical music begins to play and the

curtains slowly open. All of the girls come out and begin

dancing, big smiles on their faces. And at the end of the

row are Margo, Edith and Agnes looking sad.

Every parent in the crowd fires up a video camera in unison.

Except for one audience member.

80

Vector.

INT:
GRU’S SPACESHIP - SAME

Gru looks down at the city below, trying to locate the dance

studio.

GRU:

(confused)

Okay, okay, there’s the library...

that’s Third Street, that’s the

dance studio, there, there, there

it is!

EXT:
PLAYGROUND - EVENING

Children swing on swings, dig in the sand and play tag. Then

they all stop upon hearing a rumbling sound. They all look

up to the sky and...

TCHEEEWWWWWM! The spaceship roars through the sky, just

above the kids.

A rocket booster falls from the ship, landing on a merry-goround. It IGNITES, spinning the merry-go-round at a hundred

miles an hour.

They all cheer.

EXT:
STREET - SAME

The spaceship touches down in the middle of the street. The

tires screech and smoke as cars and pedestrians dive out of

the way.

INT:
ROCKET - SAME

Gru sees the dance studio up ahead and slams on the brakes.

SCREEEEEECH! The rocket speeds straight toward the dance

studio. THOOMPH! The brake parachute activates. Slowing

down, it gets closer...closer...and...stops right at the

building.

INT:
DANCE STUDIO - CONTINUOUS

The door swings open and Gru rushes in.

Gru stops in his tracks upon seeing--

81

The empty dance hall. A janitor is taking down the folding

chairs.

JANITOR:

Sorry, buddy. Show’s over.

GRU:

Over?

Gru can’t believe it. Then something catches his eye. He

makes his way over to a chair in the front row. Removes the

sign taped to it. Stares at it. Written in child’s

handwriting is--

“Margo, Edith and Agnes’ Dad.”

Crushed, he stares at the paper. He turns it over and

suddenly gets a concerned look on his face.

He throws the paper aside and tears out of the Dance Studio.

The paper flutters to the ground. It lands with the backside up. It reads: BRING THE MOON - V.

EXT:
VECTOR’S FORTRESS - NIGHT

Gru runs up to the front gate and begins pounding on it.

GRU:

Vector! Open up!

A huge TV monitor appears from over the gate. Appearing on

it is Vector.

VECTOR:

First give me the moon. Then we’ll

talk.

AGNES (O.S.)

Mr. Gru!

VECTOR:

Zip it, Happy Meal.

Gru produces the shrunken moon and holds it up to the

monitor.

Gru places the moon in a small tube, which sucks the moon up

into Vector’s fortress.

GRU:

Now...the girls.

82

VECTOR:

Actually, I think I’ll hold onto

them a little while longer.

GRU:

No!

Oh yeah! Unpredictable!

Gru watches helplessly as the monitor retracts back inside

the building and disappears.

GRU:

No!

Gru grits his teeth. Spots a security camera. Looks

directly into the camera with fire in his eyes.

GRU:

Listen close you little punk. You

have no idea who you are dealing

with. When I get in there, you are

in for a world of pain!

Gru stares into the camera, trying to contain his anger.

INT:
VECTOR’S FORTRESS - SAME

Vector stares at a the monitor displaying Gru. He laughs.

VECTOR:

(feigning fear)

Oh, I’m really scared.

Gru pulls back a fist and punches at the monitor. CRACK!

The monitor goes to static and Vector jumps. The girls

smile.

AGNES:

He is going to kick your butt.

Vector looks a little worried. He presses a button that

activates HEAT SEEKING MISSILES.

EXT:
VECTOR’S FORTRESS - SAME

The missiles launch from the fortress. Gru watches as they

launch outwards, and begin their return towards him.

83

He stands, determined and at the last possible second acts!

Moving like a maniac-ninja, he leaps through the missiles,

threading the delicate needle, flipping and dodging before

hopping off the last one. The missiles careen into Vector’s

fortress walls and explode!

Gru begins his unrelenting march to the girls. A shark jumps

out of Vector’s moat and dives at him. In one punch, Gru

knocks the beast back into the water.

INT:
VECTOR’S FORTRESS - SAME

Vector watches this on a monitor. Beginning to panic.

VECTOR:

What? He punched my shark!

EXT:
VECTOR’S FORTRESS - SAME

Gru is about to kick down the front door when...TCHROOOOM!

The entire building begins to rumble and the entire room

lifts off, detaching itself from the rest of the building.

It’s an escape pod!

Gru sees the pyramid in Vector’s backyard. Climbs to the top

he leaps and grabs onto the side of the escape pod.

EXT:
SKY - SAME

SHOOOM! The escape pod soars up into the air.

SHOOOOOM! Gru’s ship, piloted by Dr. Nefario streaks after

him.

INT:
GRU’S SHIP

DR. NEFARIO

There he is!

Dr. Nefario zooms in on Vector’s escape pod and sees Gru

holding on for dear life.

EXT:
SKY - SAME

Dr. Nefario speeds towards Gru.

84

EXT:
GRU’S SHIP

DR. NEFARIO

Hang on Gru!

Gru tries to open the hatch but the G-force is too great.

Gru loses his grip and starts to fall.

DR. NEFARIO

Oh no!

GRU:

Aaaaaaaaaaaah!

Gru falls through the open roof-hatch and lands safely

inside. He turns and sees several minions in the back of his

ship. He sheepishly waves at them. They wave back.

GRU:

Vector has the girls! Go!

EXT:
SKY

Gru’s ship speeds through the air.

INT:
GRU’S SHIP

GRU:

What happened to the ship? It’s big

again!

DR. NEFARIO

Not as big as the moon’s going to

be.

GRU:

What?!

DR. NEFARIO

The larger the mass of an object,

the quicker the effects of the

shrink ray wear off! I call it the

Nefario principle. I just came up

with it now, actually.

GRU:

Oh no!

85

INT:
VECTOR’S ESCAPE POD - SAME

The moon begins to grow. It crushes the coffee mug that was

holding it.

The girls stare at the beach ball sized moon.

MARGO:

Did you see that?

The girls pound on their glass enclosure.

GIRLS:

Vector! Help! Over here! Help!

VECTOR:

Hey, what are you girls doing back

there?

Vector struggles to keep control of his ship as the moon

rolls.

The girls continue to scream as the moon flattens Vector!

VECTOR:

Ouch.

The moon rolls

EXT:
GRU’S SHIP - SAME

Vector’s ship is flying erratically.

GRU:

Get as close in as you can!

A GRAPPLING HOOK is shot from Gru’s ship. It connects with

Vector’s ship.

GRU:

You got it!

Nefario holds the ship steady.

INT:
VECTOR’S SHIP

The girls scream as they try to avoid the rapidly expanding

moon.

GIRLS:

AAAHHHHIIIIIEEEEEE!

86

Suddenly, behind them there is a GROAN from the hull of the

ship! SCCREEEEEUNNNGH.

The rear hatch opens! The girls walk to the edge of the

ship.

MARGO:

Mr. Gru, up here!

AGNES & EDITH

Mr. Gru!

Gru stands on the wing of his ship and calls up to the girls.

GRU:

Okay, girls, girls! You’re going

to have to jump!

The girls look nervous. It’s a big jump.

EDITH:

Jump? Are you INSANE?!

GRU:

Don’t worry! I will catch you!

Gru holds his arms out wide, ready to catch them. They

exchange looks. Then--

MARGO:

You gave us back.

GRU:

I know, I know and it is the worst

mistake I ever made. But you have

to jump now.

They girls know that Gru is going to be there for them.

MARGO:

It will be okay.

GRU:

Okay girls.

MARGO:

Jump now!

Agnes and Edith jump. WHOOOOSH! They SCREAM as they fall.

Gru catches the girls and passes them down to Dr. Nefario.

Then looks up at Margo, who still seems unsure.

87

GRU:

Margo I will catch you and I will

never let you go again.

Margo takes her glasses off and begins to jump but Vector

grabs her and pulls her back into the ship.

VECTOR:

Not so fast.

GRU:

Margo!

MARGO:

Let me go.

Vector laughs as he aims his squid launcher at Gru.

GRU:

No!

Just when he is ready to fire, the rapidly expanding moon

knocks him over and pushes Margo out the door.

Margo screams as she falls but she is able to grab hold of

the cable that is connecting the two ships together.

MARGO:

Woah!

EXT:
VECTOR’S ESCAPE POD

Vector pulls himself back to safety.

EXT:
GRU’S SHIP

GRU:

I’m coming Margo. Hang on!

Gru stands on the wing of the plane while the two other girls

watch.

Margo is barely holding on.

INT:
VECTOR’S ESCAPE POD - SAME

Vector is stuck to the moon after it rolls over him.

88

EXT:
GRU’S SHIP

Gru walks the cable between the two planes like a tightrope.

The shifting planes makes it difficult for him to keep his

balance.

INT:
VECTOR’S ESCAPE POD - SAME

Vector is smashed into the side of his ship.

EXT:
GRU’S SHIP

The cable is torn from Vector’s ship. Margo and Gru fall

through the air.

They both fall screaming when --

Miraculously a YELLOW HAND reaches down and grabs Gru’s

extended arm! A chain of minions extends up to Gru’s ship.

GRU:

I got you!

Gru and Margo hang on for dear life swinging in the air.

INT:
VECTOR’S ESCAPE POD - SAME

The moon grows quickly, crushing everything inside the escape

pod. Vector is about to be flattened. The moon expands into

the control panel where pushes a large button.

EXT:
VECTOR’S ESCAPE POD - SAME

The escape pod’s engine fires up to maximum velocity.

EXT:
GRU’S SHIP - NIGHT

Gru holds Margo close as Vector’s escape pod zooms higher.

The cable is slowly retracted back into his ship.

Just then, the moon expands, shattering the escape pod. KABLAM!

VECTOR:

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Noooooooooooo!

It hits him and he holds on for dear life as the moon

rockets into space.

89

EXT:
GRU’S SHIP - SAME

Gru, Nefario and the girls watch.

EXT:
SPACE

The moon expands from a tiny dot in the sky to its normal

size.

EXT:
MOON - SAME

Vector opens his eyes and looks around. Sees that he is

alone on the moon which is now full size. Scratching his

head.

VECTOR:

Oh poop.

INT:
TV STUDIO - NIGHT

Our favorite Newscaster is on TV.

NEWSCASTER:

This time good triumphs and the

moon has been returned to its

rightful place in the sky. But

once again law enforcement is

baffled! Leaving everyone to

wonder:
who is this mysterious

hero? And what will he do next?

INT:
GIRLS' BEDROOM - LATER

Gru walks the girls into their room. They are now in their

pajamas and mellowed out.

GRU:

Okay girls, time for bed.

EDITH:

Aw come on! We want a story.

AGNES:

Three Sleepy Kittens!

GRU:

Oh no, sorry that book was

accidentally destroyed maliciously.

Tonight we are going to read a new

book.

90

The girls react. Gru got a book? He reaches into his coat

and pulls out a homemade book called One Big Unicorn.

GRU:

This one is called...One Big

Unicorn. By...who wrote this...

oh me! I wrote it!

Oh look -- it’s a puppet book!

He sticks his nose through a hole in the book, creating a

horn for the unicorn on the cover.

GRU:

That’s the horn.

The girls laugh at this.

AGNES:

This is going to be the best book

ever!

GRU:

Not to pat myself on the back, but

yes it probably will be. Here we

go.

Gru opens it up and begins reading.

GRU:

One big unicorn, strong and free,

Thought he was happy as he could

be,

The unicorn in Gru’s illustration somehow resembles Gru

himself. Gru turns the page.

GRU:

Then three little kittens came

around,

And turned his whole life upsidedown.

The three kittens in Gru’s illustration look a lot like

Margo, Edith and Agnes. Edith points.

EDITH:

Hey--that one looks like me.

GRU:

What are you talking about? These

are kittens! Any relation to

persons living or dead is

completely coincidental.

91

Margo smiles a knowing smile. Gru turns the page. The

unicorn and the kittens are riding in a roller-coaster.

GRU:

They made him laugh. They made him

cry.

He never should have said good-bye.

He turns to the last page, an image of the unicorn and the

kittens inside a heart.

GRU:

And now he knows he could never

part

From those three little kittens

that changed his heart.

(beat)

The End.

He closes the book. The girls look at him, clearly touched.

GRU:

Okay, alright. Goodnight.

Gru gets up and heads for the door. Turns out the light.

Stands there for a bit.

Then walks back to Agnes and gives her a kiss goodnight.

Then he kisses Edith. Then he bends down to kiss Margo--who

gives him a big hug.

MARGO:

(whispers)

I love you.

Gru smiles, trying to hold all his emotions inside.

GRU:

I love you, too.

INT:
HALL - CONTINUOUS

As he enters the hall, he sees the Minions assembled for goodnight kisses.

GRU:

No! No!

The minions all sigh, disappointed.

92

GRU:

Oh all right.

He kisses them on the heads.

A familiar looking minion goes to the front of the line

again.

GRU:

Didn’t I get you already?

The minion giggles and runs off.

INT:
GRU’S UNDERGROUND LAB - NIGHT

Nefario struggles with a video camera. Close on a curtain.

Classical music begins to play and the curtain opens,

revealing Margo, Edith and Agnes dressed in their dance

outfits. They all move in unison and begin their routine.

Gru watches from the front row of the audience, beaming.

A minion plays the role of DJ, and dances a little ballet in

sync with the girls.

Gru is the ultimate proud parent.

GRU:

They’re very good.

We now see Nefario is sitting next to Gru filming the

performance.

Gru’s Mom sits next to Gru.

GRU’S MOM

Oh, I’m so proud of you, son.

You’ve turned out to be a great

parent -- just like me. Maybe even

better.

Gru attempts a smile.

Suddenly another minion DJ gets an idea. He shoves the

ballet minion out of the way and slaps on some vinyl.

YOU SHOULD BE DANCIN’ by the BEEGEES fills our ears! The

girls switch into full-on funk mode.

Agnes smiles down at Gru and motions for him to come up on

stage with her.

93

Gru smiles and waves her off. Then Margo and Edith join in.

Waving for him to join them. Gru smiles uncomfortably and

waves.

GRU:

No, I’m fine! Go ahead!

Margo pulls him part way on stage. Gru resists and attempts

to sit back down, but a wave of minions carries him the rest

of the way.

GRU:

No, no, no.

GRU:

Hey! Agh.

There’s no getting out of this now. He takes the stage and

the crowd goes crazy.

Gru takes a deep breath and--

Breaks into a crazy dance routine!

The crowd goes crazy. Cheering and giving Gru a standing

ovation.

Dr. Nefario dances on stage with Gru’s Mom.

Up on stage, Gru looks down at the girls who are

simultaneously stunned and impressed. Gru leaps into the air

and prepares to do the splits, but instead lands awkwardly on

the stage.

VZZZZRRT! The stage begins to raise up into the air and the

“moon roof” opens revealing a huge full moon.

EXT:
THE MOON

Vector is moon walking on the moon to the beat of the song.

The floating minion dances too.

BACK TO SCENE:

The platform raises above the houses of the neighborhood, and

Gru and the girls stare out at the huge full moon.

THE END:

94

Rate this script:(4.75 / 4 votes)

Cinco Paul

Cinco Paul and Ken Daurio are American screenwriters. They are primarily known for writing screenplays for animated films, including Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who, Despicable Me, Dr. Seuss' The Lorax, Despicable Me 2, The Secret Life of Pets and Despicable Me 3. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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  • urmom1234
    what is this?
    LikeReplyReport 11 year ago

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"Despicable Me" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Web. 26 Jan. 2023. <https://www.scripts.com/script/despicable_me_6779>.

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