Despicable Me

Synopsis: In a happy suburban neighborhood surrounded by white picket fences with flowering rose bushes, sits a black house with a dead lawn. Unbeknownst to the neighbors, hidden beneath this home is a vast secret hideout. Surrounded by a small army of minions, we discover Gru, planning the biggest heist in the history of the world. He is going to steal the moon. (Yes, the moon!) Gru delights in all things wicked. Armed with his arsenal of shrink rays, freeze rays, and battle-ready vehicles for land and air, he vanquishes all who stand in his way. Until the day he encounters the immense will of three little orphaned girls who look at him and see something that no one else has ever seen: a potential Dad. The world's greatest villain has just met his greatest challenge: three little girls named Margo, Edith and Agnes.
Production: Universal Pictures
  Nominated for 1 Golden Globe. Another 3 wins & 40 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
95 min

Despicable Me. Excuse me, sir, is there a commode?


Quick, honey, take my picture.

I got the pyramid in my hand.

Justin, you get back here right now!

No, stop!

- No, no! Stop him!

- Go back! Don't climb!

Wait, wait.

Hold on. Easy, little boy.

Okay, stop, child! Stop right there. No!

No, no, no! There he goes.


I've got him! I've got him!

Outrage in Egypt tonight

as it was discovered

that the Great Pyramid of Giza

had been stolen

and replaced by a giant inflatable replica.

There is panic throughout the globe

as countries and citizens

try to protect their beloved landmarks.

Law enforcement still has no leads,

leaving everyone to wonder,

which of the world's villains

is responsible for this heinous crime?

And where will he strike next?

I'm having a bad, bad day

It's about time that I get my way

Steamrolling whatever I see

Freeze ray! Freeze ray! Freeze ray!

I'm having a bad, bad day

If you take it personal, that's okay

Watch, this is so fun to see

Despicable me

Morning, Gru!

How you doing?

Hello, Fred.

FYI, your dog has been leaving

little bombs all over my yard,

and I don't appreciate it.

Sorry. You know dogs.

They go wherever they want to go.

Unless they're dead.

I'm joking!

Although, it is true.

Anyway, have a good one.

Okay. Yeah.

Steamrolling whatever I see

Despicable me

I'm having a bad, bad day

If you take it personal, that's okay

Despicable me

You've got to be pulling on my leg!


Cookies for sale.

Go away. I'm not home.

Yes, you are. I heard you.

No, you didn't. This

is a recording.

- No, it isn't.

- Yes, it is.

Watch this. Leave a message, beep.

Goodbye, recorded message.

Agnes, come on.


Bad dog! No! No, no. Sit. My muffin.


Dr Nefario.

I know how you must be feeling.

I, too, have encountered

great disappointment,

but in my eyes,

you will always be one of the greats.

What? What happened?

It's all over the news!

Some fella just stole a pyramid.

They're saying he makes

all other villains look


Assemble the minions!

Minions, assemble!

Okay. Okay.


Looking good, Kevin!

How is the family? Good?

All right.

That's my Billy boy! What up, Larry?

Hello, everybody!

Yeah, all right!

Simmer down. Simmer down!

Thank you, okay.

Now, I realise that you guys probably heard

about this other villain

who stole the pyramids.

Apparently, it's a big deal.

People are calling it

the crime of the century and stuff like that.

But am I upset? No, I am not!

A little,

but we have had

a pretty good year ourselves,

and you guys are all right in my book.

No, no raises!

You're not going to get any raises.

What did we do?

Well, we stole the Times Square JumboTron!


That's how I roll.

Yeah, you all like watching football

on that, huh?

But that's not all.

We stole the Statue of Liberty,

the small one from Las Vegas.

And I won't even mention the Eiffel Tower!

Also Vegas.

Okay, I wasn't going to tell you

about this yet,

but I have been working

on something very big!

Something that will blow this pyramid thing

out of the water!

And thanks to the efforts

of my good friend Dr Nefario...

Thank you!

There he is.

He's styling.

Now, we have located a shrink ray

in a secret lab,

and once we take this shrink ray,

we will have the capability

to pull off the true crime of the century.

We are going to steal...

Wait, wait! I haven't told you what it is yet.


Dave, listen up, please.

Next, we are going to steal,

pause for effect,

the moon!

And once the moon is mine,

the world will give me

whatever I want to get it back!

Rate this script:(4.75 / 4 votes)

Cinco Paul


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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Despicable Me" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 26 Oct. 2021. <>.

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