
Design for Living
Bonjour.
- Bonjour.
Bonjour.
Oh, nuts.
Well, baby,
the name is Curtis.
May I present
Thomas B. Chambers.
My name
is Gilda Farrell.
Coming back
to the subject of art...
Are you a painter?
Yes.
What did you say
your name was?
Curtis.
George Curtis?
Yes.
You exhibited a painting
at the Shale Galleries?
True.
Let me see, uh...
Oh, Lady Godiva, wasn't it?
Did you like it?
I saw it with a friend
of mine. She loved it.
We haven't spoken since.
I, uh, I wouldn't consider her one
of your greatest admirers.
Are you a painter, too?
Oh, no, not me.
I'm a playwright.
I write unproduced plays,
and very good at that kind.
Why didn't you
like my picture?
It's smart aleck.
You're wisecracking
with paint.
It simply creaks
with originality.
I know what she means.
A bicycle seat
is a little hard
on Lady Godiva's
historical background.
Shut up.
I see. Lady Godiva doesn't
belong on a bicycle,
but it's okay to put Napoleon
in a Kaplan and McGuire
non-wrinkling
250 unin suit!
Quite right.
That's not history.
And if I may say so,
they, uh, they do wrinkle.
I'm a commercial artist.
I'm being paid
for telling the worid
that if Napoleon
were alive today,
he would wear Kaplan and McGuire's 250
non-wrinkling underwear.
Pure hooey.
You're wasting your time
painting for art galleries.
You should get in contact with some
bicycle manufacturer.
You'd clean up.
I'll give you a good slogan:
"Join Lady Godiva
on Our Tandem. "
Don't say nuts,
not to a lady.
Hurry up, Gilda!
Shake a leg!
It's amazing
how a few insults
can bring people
together in three hours.
It was certainly good to hear
I haven't heard 'em since
I left Father and Mother.
What we want to know is
do you like us
better than Kaplan
and McGuire.
Let me tell you, Curtis and Chambers
deliver the goods.
Max.
Gilda. Darling.
I don't think
it's Kaplan.
I doubt if it's McGuire.
And it's certainly
not Napoleon.
Take a letter.
Yes, sir.
My dear
Mr. Thomas B. Chambers.
Uh, cross that out.
Mr. Chambers.
Comma, paragraph.
I am writing you
in regard to your
undesirable attentions
to Miss Gilda Farrell.
Hello. Yes.
No, no, no,
that won't do at all.
I want the copy to read exactly
as I laid it out.
"The real
aristocrat surrenders
to Murphy Hold 'Em Up
Suspenders. "
A- and put "Hold 'Em Up"
in a brighter color.
A- and listen, put that French touch
in the suspenders.
Where was I?
"Undesirable attentions
to Miss Gilda Farrell. "
I'm afraid, Bassington,
that you are wrong.
I'm afraid, Bassington,
that you are...
I'm afraid, Bassington,
that you are right,
but nonetheless boring.
Very good. Very good.
Bassington curis
his lips foolishly
and crosses to left.
Bassington speaks.
"There's only one thing
I have to say to you. "
What could he say?
"There's only one thing
I have to say to you. "
Come in. Come in.
"There's only one thing
I have to say to you. "
Ah, Plunkett, Incorporated.
Welcome to Bohemia, sir.
How do you do?
Why, I'm getting on, sir,
in my modest way.
And you?
I'm well, thank you.
You're looking splendid.
That's a fetching tie,
Mr. Plunkett,
and these spats,
very exciting.
What an ensemble.
But, personally,
I don't like derbies.
They give a man
that undertaker look.
My dear Mr. Chambers,
I have come here to speak to you man-to-man.
My favorite type
of conversation.
I wish to broach
Oh, now, don't let's be delicate,
Mr. Plunkett.
Let's be crude and objectionable,
both of us.
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Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
"Design for Living" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 25 Jan. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/design_for_living_6759>.