Deranged Page #3

Here it is.

The funeral was this afternoon.

That lady taught me

all through Sunday School

and in the sixth grade.

Taught Ez, too.

Remember that, Ez,

back in sixth grade?

Used to call her

"old flannel face".

- Remember that, Ez?

- No, sir.

Yeah, that's her, all right.

Here. Remember her, Ez?

Oh, that's...

that's old Miss Johnson there.

What's she doing

in the newspaper?

Dang it, Ez,

I just told you she's dead.

You mean they put her in the paper

just 'cause she's dead?

What's the matter with you, Ez?

That's her danged obituary.

Her what?

Don't tell me you don't know

what's an obituary.

If that don't beat all.

Well, look, when a body dies,

they take all the information

and they put it in the newspaper

in the obituary section.

It tells when the funeral is

and where they're being buried

and all that kind of stuff.

You mean I can find out

where and when

somebody's been buried

on the very same day?

Light at the end of the tunnel,

all right, yes, siree.

You're right, Ez.

Well, I'm gonna look into that.

I'd rather read

the sports section, myself.

Not me. This here could be

real valuable information.

Why? What are you planning to do?

Dig 'em up or something?

No, sir.

Wouldn't have to dig it all up.

Well, I'm sure glad to hear that.

Sure. Why dig it all up

when you can take the parts you need?

Sure, maybe like...

like if you needed the head

for repairs or something,

well, then, just take the head.

Oh, Ez, you're a crazy S.O.B.

Hi, Miss Johnson. Remember me?

I used to be in your

Sunday School class.

There she comes now, real easy.

Next thing to do is get this hair off.

See, Mama?

All I got to do is stitch it on you.

Look, Mama.

I brought you a visitor.

Shh. Don't stay too long, now.

Bet you two ladies have

a lot to talk about.

After that, Ezra made

many visits to the graveyard,

bringing home bodies,

or parts of bodies,

to keep his mother

and himself company.

He was a ghoul, a necromaniac,

a defiler of the dead,

but he had not yet turned

his sickness on a living victim.

It was only a matter of time

until he did.

We're gonna have to take those plugs out,

and take 'em into town -

either get 'em cleaned or get new ones.

- Ez?

- Sir?

Er, me and Mother,

we've been talking and, er...

Well, we've been thinking that...

Sir?

Well, dang it all, first off,

stop callin' me "sir".

You're as old as I am.

And secondly,

stop callin' Jenny "ma'am".

You're a growed man, Ez.

That's what I wanted...

to talk to you about.

I wanted to talk to you

man to man.

See, we're... well, Jenny and me,

we're worried about you,

living up in that old house

there all by yourself,

and, er, we just thought that...

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