Demon Headmaster Season #Spring
- 25 min
- 431 Views
Yes you’ve said that an a thousand times.
Oh, right. Ooooooooooohhhhhh! Look. There’s the office!
Let’s go check-in. Run to office.
Yes. You are to see the head master at once. Mrs Winterston leads out and walks straight-backed to around office building back to office. Mr Hardy pretends to be headmaster. Mrs Winterston knocks.
Well that was weird. You are here for music and I’m here for maths. We both had to do English.
You must practice your English, girls.
But we’re not here for English. I’m here for mathematics and Jessie’s here for music.
All eyes on the headmaster.
yes yes, yes Mr Hardy
I am going to the loo
I need to go too
[walk to teacher ask to go to the loo and walk out]
the new kids have gone to the loo
yes, yes we will get them.
[Jessie and Becky walk back in]
The next day….
Sure. (Jessie hands food to Iggy)
But how will we get rid of him for, like, forever?
Becky & Jessie: Hey, put Iggy down! Etc.
What do you want?
Becky’s eyes drop.
Take them away.
Hello and welcome… wait, wait, and wait. What’s with this? Ahh! Get away evil spaghetti!
‘Evil spaghetti’ walk off. Mr Hardy look like he’ll be sick.
Now. Let me guess. This is… THE EDDIE HAIR SCHOOL QUIZ! This where I get two teachers and their top students. Then I ask crazy questions and boom! They get one whole minute to blab on whatever they want. Last week they blabbed entirely on donuts! Isn’t that just… grossly yum, yum.
Lick lips. Weird look.
Let’s get this show on the road. Like not really but… Hey we’ve got a purple pineapple so. Let’s go. Over here we’ve got O’Connell School for intelligent children. Wowzers. What a name. How are you goin’ mate.
Over here we have Manor Road Public school. Interesting name. Okay, the O’Connell school will go first. Whoever gets the most questions right, they will win and they’ll get a whole minute to blab. OK, first question, we have six-hundred rubber chickens, BOK BOK (chuckle) but I also have three elastic trains. Is that possible? Anyway, each chicken goes in a train. How many in each train?
Correct. Manor Road’s question…
Manor Road Boy:
I, I don’t know.
Buzzer goes off.
Ooooh. It’s still 9-9. Everything depends on the last question. Ahh. I can’t stand it. Last question. O’Connell. The King Zizi of Zanzibar has 100 children. Thirty percent have curly noses. Seventy two percent have leg problems and ninety percent are fat. How many fat, curly nosed children does he have?
They can cheer if you want them to.
I’ll tell you how I do it. If you look into my eyes I’ll say. It is terrible, all this mess. Strange you feel so sleepy. Sooo sleepy.
Everyone looks sleepy. Iggy jumps up and points to pepper pot. Yelling. (no sound) Becky looks at pepper pot. Throw pepper at headmaster. Headmaster stops and sneezes lots and lots. Audience laughs. Headmaster storms out. Everyone waves to the camera.
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"Demon Headmaster" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 4 Jul 2020. <https://www.scripts.com/script/demon_headmaster_1282>.