Deliver Us from Eva

Synopsis: Eva Dandridge is a very uptight young woman who constantly meddles in the affairs of her sisters and their husbands. Her in-laws, who are tired of Eva interfering in their lives, decide to set her up with someone so she can leave them alone. They end up paying Ray, the local "playboy," $5,000 to date her. The plan goes by smoothly, but troubles comes when Ray actually falls in love with Eva.
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance
Director(s): Gary Hardwick
Production: USA Films
  4 wins & 12 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.1
Metacritic:
46
Rotten Tomatoes:
44%
R
Year:
2003
105 min
$17,334,912
Website
57 Views

You know when a funeral

is really awful?

When it's yours.

That's me, Ray Adams-

young, gifted and dead.

These are my remains.

And these three

mournful brothers,

they're the men who killed me.

Aw, they look so sad,

don't they?

But this is how

they really feel.

But they're not

the real reason I'm dead.

These are their women.

Fine, ain't they?

Some families

are blessed with great genes,

and the Dandridge sisters

had it all.

But they're not the reason

I'm dead either. She is.

How did this sweet-faced woman

cause a man to die?

Well, it began six months ago.

Go! Go! Go!

- Now Howard comes up the middle,

- breaks the tackle and gets the first down.

Hey, baby, that's really nice of you,

sweetie, but we already have some food here.

- What are you doing in here?

- Trying to watch the game that's right behind you.

My book club is meeting

in here tonight.

Baby, remember when we

talked last month?

You said it was okay

if we watched the game.

Oh, yeah. Eva changed all that.

She was supposed to tell you.

- Well, she didn't.

- Hey, it's the men. What are you doing here?

Are you joining our book club?

It's gonna be very enlightening.

Sweetness, precious,

listen.

Would it be okay, you know, if you

could take it in the other room?

- Because we're all settled in.

- Yeah, the other room.

- Well, I guess we could.

- You got a great girl!

I love you, baby.

No! No, we cannot!

Oh, yeah- Oh.

Michael, Timothy, Darrell.

Our book club

is reading Beloved,

and we're gonna need the television

to watch the film when we're done.

Oh, yeah, that's right,

honey. We need the room.

You did not tell me you wanted

to use the room in my house, Eva.

Well, I'm telling you

right now, Timothy.

And it is half

my sister's house too.

Community property.

See, 'cause I want Kareenah to make

a good impression on the book club.

Don't you?

No!

- Excuse me?

- Yes.

Look, we were

here first, Eva.

Yes, but certainly the temporal

proximity of our advents...

isn't determinative, is it?

- I'll get back to you on that one.

- Yeah.

Do you know what

she just said right there?

- You don't get to me with your $50 words, Eva.

- That's right.

What would you say if I

demanded you to leave this room?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I would say I find your particular

brand of crack very amusing.

This isn't about a book...

versus a football game, fellas.

Oh, no. This is about men

versus women.

Women who aspire to culture...

and men who aspire

to scratch themselves.

Women who bear the burdens in life

and men who create those burdens.

Women who uplift humanity

and men who uplift lap dances.

If society were left

to the whims of men,

we'd still be in caves carving

pictures with our non-opposable thumbs.

So, today, gentlemen,

is the day

for civilized behavior.

Today we women raise our voices against

tyranny, crudeness and play-off games.

And that is it, gentlemen.

End of story. The fat lady's

singing! Out of the room.

By the way, if any of that was lost upon

you, then I've just proven my point again.

Excuse me.

Kareenah, baby,

I am putting

my foot down.

Damn! Damn!

I can't stand her.

I can't stand her either, but

you really need to calm down.

You're making me stressed. You need

to stand up to your wife, Timothy.

It's like she tookyour balls

and turned them into earrings.

Your wife is bling-blingin'

with your nuts.

This is what we get for being

with Eva's little sisters.

They could never stand up

to us without Eva.

I really did think I was getting

one of the fabulous Dandridge girls.

I didn't know it came with

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