Debra Digiovanni: Single, Awkward, Female

Synopsis: Debra DiGiovanni is one of the fastest rising international comedy stars. A finalist on Last Comic Standing, Debra was also voted Canada's Best Female Comedian at the Canadian Comedy Awards and has been selling out venues everywhere she performs. Now, Debra is back as a Single, Awkward, Female with her hilarious, unique views on dating, dieting, and love as only she can share
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Manny Rodriguez
Production: Entertainment One
 
IMDB:
5.2
TV-MA
Year:
2011
52 min
Website
55 Views


DiGiovanni.

(applause, cheering, whistling)

DEBRA:
Hi, everybody.

Well, good evening, everyone.

Oh. Hi, everybody.

Oh, you look fantastic,

everyone.

Of course I'm already drunk, but

still, you look good, everybody.

So, it's lovely to be here.

Thank you for giving me plans.

Seriously, this is exciting to

be out in the evening.

Oh, you gave me a reason to get

out of my pajamas.

Good work, everybody.

Thank you.

Actually, these are my pajamas.

Who am I kidding?

I'll sleep in this.

I really will.

Um, it's but it's nice.

I just flew in a couple days

ago.

I'm a good flyer.

Doesn't bother me.

I'm not scared to fly, nothing.

But this happens every once in a

while.

You know, when you're on a

flight?

They shut the door, no one else

is getting on, and you realize

there's an empty seat in your

row.

(shuddering gasp)

That's the best moment in the

world.

Are you kidding me?

Empty seat... that's like first

class for white trash.

Do you know what I'm saying,

gang?

Oh, my God, empty seat.

So exciting, all right?

This is what happened to me on

the way down.

I'm sitting at the window.

There was a gentleman beside me,

and here's the thing.

The empty seat is the aisle

seat, okay?

So I give him the celebration

elbow.

I give him one these.

I'm, like, "Right on, yeah."

I'm excited.

I expect him to celebrate with

me, but he looks at me in the

face, and he's, like, "Actually,

I prefer the middle seat."

And I was, like, "What? What did

you just say? I'm sorry..."

Did you just tell me you're an

a**hole?

Is that what you said?

Because your accent is very

strong.

What?! Are you kid...?

You prefer the middle seat?

Let me tell you, I ruined his

flight; I ruined his flight.

Are you kidding?

He was trying to sleep.

I kept touching his face.

Do you know what I mean?

I'm all...

(laughter)

He woke up with a different part

in his hair.

That'll teach him.

That'll teach him!

It's your job, everyone, to

teach people manners.

Um, also, I have to fly quite a

bit, and this happens.

This happens.

Have you ever had to be on one

of those little, tiny, small

planes?

One of those little passenger

planes when there's only, like,

seven people on the plane?

I had to take one a little while

ago, and the airline that I was

flying on was called Bearskin

Airlines, which, at first, I was

like, "Oh, sexy."

Uh, but it's not.

It's not sexy.

I thought it was gonna be big,

shirtless, hairy guys bringing

me drinks.

No. Just terrifying. That's it.

And there's something you need

to remember in your travels,

everybody.

If you ever get onto the stairs

of your aircraft, and the whole

f***in' plane moves... no, not a

good idea.

Yeah. I'm serious.

I got on the stairs, and the

plane... it tipped on me.

I'm, like... (humming)

(screaming)

The whole plane.

Seriously. I had to get someone

to put their foot down so I

could get on it.

"Hold it.

Hold the plane."

And then I got on.

Scary stuff, everyone.

And the worst part about this,

all right, is that six people on

the plane, but there's another

woman about my size about to

board the plane, all right?

I panicked. I panicked.

You've had that moment, waiting

for an elevator, haven't you?

Yeah, two women my size show up

for the same elevator, and you

start to do math in your head.

I know you do it.

I know you do it.

I know you do it!

You're, like, "2,500. Oh, my!"

(laughter)

"Carry the two! Carry the two!"

It's scary.

It's a scary moment.

And that happens to me.

That's like an elevator

shootout.

Do you know what I mean?

It was, like, "All right,

sister, only one of us is going

up... who's it gonna be?

Who's it gonna be?"

And then I punch her in the

neck, and then I run.

That's what I do, everybody.

I'm lying. I don't run.

Anyway, um, what I do...

I do...

I'm from the East Coast, so I

love it when you have a big time

zone change.

You know what I mean?

Got the big space.

Oh, it makes me feel so

exciting.

You know, you feel like when you

have a big time zone, no one

knows who you are.

Sometimes I'm a different

person.

I pretend that I'm a different

person.

So the last time I came out to

the West Coast, I was, like,

"Nobody knows me here.

I'm gonna be a totally different

Debra."

So I decided that I would flirt

with guys.

'Cause you know what?

I think I should give it a

chance.

I'm in my late 30's.

This is the chance.

Go for it, Debra.

Try talking to men.

You can do it, all right?

Wrong. I can't do it.

So what happens is this.

I start to flirt with the first,

like, stationary man that I saw.

I was, like, "Oh, you're not

moving.

You're my type. Hello."

Seriously. No, seriously.

Or I think I flirted.

I'm not totally sure what I did,

to be honest.

You know, I tried.

I smiled, I tossed my hair a

couple times, and then, I think

I punched him.

I don't remember what happened.

I panicked...

You know, I blacked out for a

while.

Uh, but then I came to in my

hotel room, so I thought, "Wow,

that must have went well."

That must have gone well,

everybody. I'm here.

But here's the thing.

On a long flight... like, five

hour, six hour flight... and

it's...

I'm a human being, all right?

So, I have to use the bathroom.

Human, all right?

Uh, now the next part of the

story... not my fault.

All right, the toilet

overflowed, all right.

Now this is not...

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Debra DiGiovanni

Debra DiGiovanni is a Canadian stand-up comedian of Italian descent originally from Tillsonburg, Ontario. Her comedy career began with the help of Humber College's inaugural year of their Comedy Writing and Performance course, in 2000 and has since been nominated for the coveted Tim Sims Comedy Encouragement Award in 2002. In the same year she won the Canadian Comedy Award for the Best Stand-up Newcomer in Stand Up. In 2003, NOW magazine named her headline show as the 3rd Best of the Year. She taped her Comedy Now Special for CTV in the summer of 2004 and in 2005 was nominated for Best Female Stand up. 2005 was her first appearance Just For Laughs Festival where she was invited on a cross Canada tour opening for Russell Peters. Presently, she is a sought after headliner and accomplished voice performer. Debra can also be heard on CBC radio on The Debaters as well as being a favourite judge on the popular MuchMusic show Video on Trial and its spinoff Stars on Trial. She appeared in the fifth season of Last Comic Standing. By winning an audition in Montreal, she was selected to participate in a semifinal qualifying round in Hollywood, making it to the top 10 finalist. She participated in the show until she was eliminated and placed 8th. She hosted the 2007 Canadian New Media Awards and the 2007 Canadian Comedy Awards in 2007, she also won the Best Female Comedian at the Canadian Comedy Awards. In July 2008 she appeared on eTalk, interviewing contestants on the sixth season of Canadian Idol. She also hosted the Genie Awards alongside Sandra Oh and also hosted one night of the Gemini Awards in 2008. She recently completed two seasons of the Slice network's Plastic Makes Perfect. She is currently making regular appearances on The Comedy Network 2012 version Match Game. On February 27, 2018, she performed on Conan. more…

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