Death And Life Of Bobby Z, The


Welcome to the California Gold Coast

A magical land where

the sun always shines

and the surf always rolls

A place where a million dollars

might buy ya a view

of another guy's view

Once upon a time

this was the home

of the legendary Bobby Z

You see that out there, folks

That's Bobby Z's territory, my friends

He ruled those waters

He was Poseidon

He was Neptune

His heart beat with

the rhythm of those waves

And when the sun set

Z blessed this land

with the most amazing

weed known to man

In those days if 5 yuppies smoked a bowl

after their poached salmon

well, it was Z's weed, guaranteed

Z's gone now

Some say he's in Europe

Some say even Thailand, maybe Japan

The doubters, the non-believers say

they all of course, he's dead

But he's coming back. I know it

Water is life

From it he sprang

and to it he shall return

Bobby Z is gonna be rebirthed

Bobby Z is gonna be resurrected

He's coming back

The great Bobby Z is coming back

This guy's perfect

His name is Tim Kearney

He definitely resembles him


Mom's dead, dad split


Uncles, aunts, brothers, sisters

Tim's an only child

on his own since he was 15

First gets busted when he was a kid

for breaking and entering

when he trips over a lawn sprinkler

on the way out the door

carrying his stash

Goes to juvie, comes out, does it again

By this time he gets a court-mandated

stint in the Marines

Gets his ass sent to Iraq


Alright, where he wins the Navy cross

and then gets a dishonorable discharge

For what

Beating up an Iraqi colonel

Should've give 'im a medal

Then he comes back to the States

where he commits assault

and battery strongarm

on a convenience store clerk

for raising the price

on an ice cream bar

Thought it was eightyfive cents

Dollar fifteen

Strike 1

Now get this. He gets paroled, right


His dipshit buddy Wayne picks him up

On the way home

he stops at a gas station

Tim's waiting in the car, Wayne goes in

Okay, here's the beaut

Wayne robs the gas station

Tim takes the rap

Open the door! Open the door

Go! Oh sh*t, there's a cop

There's a cop

Open the door! Go

Strike 2

Which leads us to

our dead biker friend, Maddog

Been here 6 months now, boy

You need protection, and we're it

Just wanna do my time, man

Don't work like that, soldier boy

Strike 3



Yeah, he's f***ed

The Brotherhood'll get him no matter

what prison yard he ends up on

Sh*t, Brotherhood'll kill you no matter

where you end up, period

How'd you get to be

such a loser, convict, hm

Uh, what is it, low self-esteem

Lack of impulse control

Man, I can't remember

what they described

Well I see you had a lot of practice

from your file, here


You know why you're here

Probably 'cause you want me

to roll over on somebody, right

Wrong. We don't want you

to roll over on somebody

We want you to be somebody

That's what my mom used to say

Why don't you stop fooling around

and maybe just maybe

if you do like I say dude

you can walk away

from here and keep walking

Would you like that convict


Look at him

Look at him

Who does he look like

Does he look like anybody you know

Well he kinda looks like me

You know who that is

That is Bobby Z

Robert James Zacharias, man

Grew up in Laguna Beach

While you were shitting

your life down the toilet

he was The Dude

The Man

Oh, he had it all, man

The hottest women, the finest clothes

the best dope

He was living the life, man

But he had another talent

See, Bobby was also

a very accomplished drug dealer

Matter of fact, he was a legend at 16

Couldn't even get a driver's license

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Bob Krakower

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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