Dear God

Synopsis: Tom Turner is a con man, defrauding people from their money with a variety of two-bit hustles. One night he makes the mistake of attempting to hustle some undercover cops, and finds himself in court faced with the dilemma of either going to jail or getting a real job. Choosing to stay out of jail, he gets a job at the post office working in their Dead Letter Office helping to sort Dead Letters (i.e. mail which, for whatever reason, can't be delivered). Some of the mail he recieves can't be delivered because it's addressed to God, and he accidentally answers (sending them money in the process). This starts the ball rolling as more of his co-workers get in on the idea of helping people by answering "God" mail.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Garry Marshall
Production: Paramount
  1 nomination.
Rotten Tomatoes:
112 min

I've got a foggy, smoggy morning.

no riots, no mudslides.

On the other hand, it's still early.

Steve Tatum here.

Christmas Parade tonight.

just before Thanksgiving

Of course...

Found your hat.

- Is Daddy flying that airplane?|- No, sweetie. Sorry.

Come along.|Up the stairs, up you go.

I miss my friends in New Jersey.

I know, but you'll make new friends.

Fasten your seat belt.

It's a whole new world out here.

We have a new place at the beach,|a new school for you.

Are you gonna make|new friends, too, Mom?

Of course. There are plenty|of nice, normal people here.

Morning, Tom. Hear the results|of New York's Aqueduct today?

Otis, my man, I already lost.

Can you get this off my car?|It scratches easy.

Who you gonna bet on at Del Mar?

Nobody, I'm broke. I'm going to work.

departs on track four.

All aboard.

Relax, Julie.

I've lost my purse!

Your purse is on your shoulder.|I swear...

No-Ioading zone, pal. Keep it moving.

I'll check on Carmel for you.

Ladies. I hopped into the cab after|you and found this on the floor.

The driver said he'd mail it to you.

For heaven's sakes!|We do not know the cab driver.

We certainly do not.|We are from Memphis.

We do not socialise|with foreign drivers.

That's the thing. He seemed very|suspicious. He said it was yours.

You ran all this way|to return that little bitty bracelet?

Ma'am, even an amateur gemologist|like myself

knows the black sapphire|is extremely valuable.

- But that's not our...|- What she means is,

it's a gift for a friend,|Sally-Lou, back home.

- Thank you.|- Glad I could help.

He's so sweet.

Well, I guess I should give you|a reward.

- God bless you.|- God bless you. OK.

You're not old enough

for your own PIN number.

But Laura says|I can get one in your name.

Bravo, bravo.

There was a fire at San Diego Youth|Centre. I had to pull two kids out.

They're fine, but now|I can't push the damn buttons.

- Help him, Papa.|- Would you?

- You'd trust me with your number?|- A fellow Greek?

What's the number?


Don't flirt. She's a virgin.


Damn it!

Now how do I catch a cab|to the burns centre?

- How far is the hospital?|- Beverly Hills. Is that far?

- We can give him a ride.|- No, we don't have time.

You gotta have the cab fare.|I insist. Yeah.

"Efharisto." It's, like, 30 miles.


- He's kinda cute.|- Never mind.

- A trip, Madame Zema?|- Would you like to know where?

I need a little more money...

Smile, Mrs Alcot,|your favourite customer's here.

OK, 20, 40, 50,

51, 52,


57, 58, bus ticket to Fresno...

I don't want no bus ticket|to Fresno, man.

...59, 60, 65. That's it, for now.|I'm a little short.

You gotta grow, Tommy.|As of today, you're short a grand.

I could sell my car.

It ain't worth that gumball machine.

It's over. Junior's cranky,|dudes are moving in on his turf.

Tommy, you gotta quit|playing the ponies.

Gloria. Come here.

- What?|- Those guys are bottom feeders.

They got small-time|written on their pants.

The guy in black, Webster?|He's a loan shark.

- What's the other called?|- Tom.

You do what you gotta do. Tonight,|you meet us in the back of Zema's.

You don't have 1,000 bucks,|get out of town.

Webster, where am I going to go?

You got a bus ticket to Fresno.

Help me out here.|I'm a little stressed.

We've been tight a lot of years,|but I can't keep covering for you.

Forget it, Webster.|I got the skills to pay the bills.

That's my man talking, yeah.|At Madame Zema's.


Tony Danza!

I'm doing last-minute fundraising.|I'm almost there.

Junior's coming. I can hear him.|He wants to see you now.

- "We're waiting for you at Zema's."|- I'm not well yet.

Better to show up light|than not at all. Get the lead out.

Don't be a kid-hater.|Santa's kids. Thank you.

- Who are Santa's kids?|- Santa's kids are everywhere!

Mr Baywatch!

And the mistress of the dark, Elvira.

There's an experimental treatment|that Medicare will cover,

but I have no way of knowing...

Sister. Give me your address.|I swear, I'll send you a cheque.

- No.|- Please.

No. When little Junior's|back on his feet,

I hope you'll do a loving act|of kindness for someone in need.

A loving act of kindness?

Sister Charlotte, what are you doing?

Happy Days' Erin Moran

and Princess Elinor Donahue...

A round trip to New York.|They were for our honeymoon.

She got this nasal disease.|I don't even know what you call it.

They're worth, like, $1,200 each.

But we don't have 1,200!

I'd take less. Like, two?

20, 30...

- Not now, I'm doing a transaction.|- How would you like to spread 'em?

LAPD. Merry Christmas, pal.

Of all the crappy deals...


Shouldn't you be arresting|a drug dealer or a movie star?

waiting for. Let's hear it, folks!

Case number 96-M 1-31-25.

You're next!

Mr Greek burn victim? Let's go.

The scars have almost healed.|So, how's your daughter?

She's... Never mind! Do you swear|to tell the truth, the whole truth

and nothing but the truth? If you get|let off, I'll splatter your nose.

So help me God?

Yeah, sure.

Would you like use|of the public defender?

I can handle this without a lawyer.|I have a lot of courtroom experience.

- As a matter of fact...|- Not with me. So settle down.

Don't make me get the hot brick.|Proceed.

Your Honour, the DA's office|wishes to file one charge of fraud,

but we believe this fraud|may be just one of many.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes

Warren Leight

Warren Leight (born January 17, 1957) is an American playwright, screenwriter, film director and television producer. He is best known for his work on Law & Order: Criminal Intent, Lights Out and the showrunner for In Treatment and Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. His play Side Man was a finalist for the 1999 Pulitzer Prize for Drama. more…

All Warren Leight scripts | Warren Leight Scripts

0 fans

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:



    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)


    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


    "Dear God" STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 30 May 2024. <>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!


    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.