Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid Page #6

Synopsis: Juliet Forrest is convinced that the reported death of her father in a mountain car crash was no accident. Her father was a prominent cheese scientist working on a secret recipe. To prove it was murder, she enlists the services of private eye Rigby Reardon. He finds a slip of paper containing a list of people who are "The Friends and Enemies of Carlotta." Searching for answers, Rigby encounters assorted low-lifes: dangerous men and women who were the hallmarks of the classic detective movies of the 40's and 50's. Filming in black and white allows scenes from old movies to be cut into this film. It is through this process that Rigby's assistant is none other than Philip Marlowe himself.
Genre: Comedy, Crime, Mystery
Director(s): Carl Reiner
Production: Universal Pictures
 
IMDB:
6.8
Rotten Tomatoes:
77%
PG
Year:
1982
88 min
461 Views


"Immer Essen".

Walter Neff's the owner.

Thanks, Hot Legs.

I owe you a big one.

Immer essen.

Immer essen.

That means "always eating".

- What language?

- German.

It's also the name of a

South American cruise ship.

I know! When Sam Hastings and my

sister separated last July...

He took a South American

tour on that ship.

Very interesting.

Right after that tour, the

company canceled its cruises.

Now Sam Hastings is dead.

- I don't see the connection.

- I don't either. That's what bothers me.

Hello?

- Who is it?

- This is Marlowe.

Hello, Mr Marlowe. Would

you hold a moment, please?

- It's Marlowe.

- Good.

Hello, Marlowe. Listen, don't check

out those unsolved murders right now.

Yeah? Why not?

I got something more important. You

ever had any dealings with Walter Neff?

Walter Neff. He runs a South

American cruise-ship company.

Good. Tell me about him.

Cruises supermarkets

looking for blondes?

Good. I'll supply the blonde.

One other thing.

If Walter Neff leaves the country,

I may have to take a little boat ride.

If I do, stay off the booze. These

people we're dealing with are killers.

Well, thanks for telling me.

Have a nice trip.

I may not leave right away,

but thanks anyway. And Marlowe?

- You wearin' a tie?

- Goodbye.

- What was that all about?

- Marlowe knows Neff.

Says he's a pushover

for beautiful blondes.

It means we need a female spy.

Why not use me?

Sorry.

You're not blonde enough.

- I can always dye my hair.

- No dice, Dollface. You're a client.

That's one thing I've learned about

clients. Dead ones don't pay their bills.

Is that all you think of me?

Someone who pays you $10 a day?

That's right, Dollface. To me

you're just a meal ticket.

How could I tell her

that I was lying?

I'd work for nothing just to watch

her hair bounce as she walked...

Smell her creamy skin, cradle

her head on my shoulder.

Feel the slope of her waist,

the curve of her back...

And then gently caress

her two beautiful...

I'm sorry.

I just don't like being

called a meal ticket.

As I started my search for a blonde spy, I

tried to get rid of the image of Juliet...

Storming out of my office

with toothpaste on her shoes.

First on my list was Monica Stillpond,

a bombshell who once told me...

She would do anything for

anybody anywhere at any time.

But muscle gave me

my start in politics.

It was when I was assistant to

old man Zimmerman, the plumber.

- Mr Madvig, you're joking.

- About the plumbing, or the muscle?

I just can't imagine

you as a plumber.

She was in the middle of

a fancy dinner party.

But I couldn't waste time being

polite. I caught her attention.

Coffee will be served in the

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote

Carl Reiner

Carl Reiner (born March 20, 1922) is an American comedian, actor, director, and writer whose career spans seven decades. During the early years of television comedy from 1950 to 1957, he co-wrote and acted on Caesar's Hour and Your Show of Shows, starring Sid Caesar. In the 1960s, Reiner was best known as the creator, producer, writer, and actor on The Dick Van Dyke Show. He also had great success as a film director and writer and partnered with Steve Martin in the 1970s when Reiner co-wrote and/or directed some of Martin's most successful films, including the 1979 film The Jerk. Reiner formed a comedy duo with Mel Brooks in "2000 Year Old Man" and acted in films such as The Russians Are Coming, the Russians Are Coming (1966) and the Ocean's Trilogy (2001–2007). Reiner has won nine Emmy Awards and one Grammy Award during his career. He is the father of actor and director Rob Reiner, author Annie Reiner, and grandfather to Tracy Reiner. more…

All Carl Reiner scripts | Carl Reiner Scripts

0 fans

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:

0 Comments

    Translation

    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)

    Citation

    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:

    Style:MLAChicagoAPA

    "Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 16 Jun 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/dead_men_don't_wear_plaid_6501>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Watch the movie trailer

    Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

    Browse Scripts.com

    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.