Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid Page #3

Synopsis: Juliet Forrest is convinced that the reported death of her father in a mountain car crash was no accident. Her father was a prominent cheese scientist working on a secret recipe. To prove it was murder, she enlists the services of private eye Rigby Reardon. He finds a slip of paper containing a list of people who are "The Friends and Enemies of Carlotta." Searching for answers, Rigby encounters assorted low-lifes: dangerous men and women who were the hallmarks of the classic detective movies of the 40's and 50's. Filming in black and white allows scenes from old movies to be cut into this film. It is through this process that Rigby's assistant is none other than Philip Marlowe himself.
Genre: Comedy, Crime, Mystery
Director(s): Carl Reiner
Production: Universal Pictures
 
IMDB:
6.8
Rotten Tomatoes:
77%
PG
Year:
1982
88 min
450 Views


I'm looking for a singer. You interested?

The idea of two men beating each

other to a pulp makes me ill.

Well, I'm also doing

a religious picture.

The Story of Saint... Betty.

You know, the... nun who

taught the lepers how to sing.

- How wonderful of you.

- Thanks.

John Hay Forrest said you

were a friend of Carlotta's.

Will you excuse me?

I must have hit a nerve.

She went white as a ghost.

The next day I tailed Kitty

Collins to a fancy restaurant.

Midway through the meal, she noticed

me and did a pretty strange thing.

She took off her

brooch and ditched it.

I had a pretty good idea where.

Hold it, pal. I'm from

the health department.

We have a report that your soup

has too much jewellery in it.

"EOC." Enemies of Carlotta.

The only name on the list that wasn't

crossed out was Swede Anderson.

I decided to drop in on him

before they crossed him out too.

Swede wasn't living in luxury.

As a matter of fact, for a moment,

I thought he wasn't living at all.

Swede?

Sorry, Swede. I thought

you'd been murdered.

Come on, wake up!

Come on, Swede.

You need a cup of my java.

You're up. Good. The java

will be ready in a minute.

This is never gonna heal.

Anyway, my guess is by now Kitty

Collins is a million miles from here.

Do you think Swede was killed by the

same man who murdered my father?

Hold it, Dollface. No one's proved

your father's been murdered...

yet.

But you may be right about

this being a conspiracy.

It's big. Maybe too big

for me to handle alone.

Get me a cup of java, will ya?

- Yeah?

- Hello, Marlowe?

- Hello, Bernie.

- No, it's me, Rigby.

What's up?

I'm on an important case. I need

your help. How soon can you get here?

- I haven't had breakfast.

- Breakfast? You're late for lunch, pal.

- It's two o'clock.

- Two o'clock?

Hustle on over here. I'll make

you a cup of my famous java.

- I'd rather buy my own.

- Suit yourself. See ya in a half-hour.

And Marlowe. Wear a

tie, for God's sake.

What's that?

I found it in Daddy's desk.

It looks like a key to one of those

lockers at the train station.

Number's been filed off. What's

it say on that envelope?

"Most recent rat."

- Very clever.

- You understand what it means?

Just a hunch. You know the Chinese have

a different animal for every year?

- Yes.

- Unless I miss my guess...

The most recent Year

of the Rat was 1936.

This is the key to

locker number 1936.

- You're a very smart man.

- So was Abraham Lincoln.

Look what happened to him.

Smart can get you killed.

I hope not.

Sometimes I feel I would like to...

You'd like to what? Kiss me?

Yeah, that would be nice.

It would give me a chance to tell her I

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote

Carl Reiner

Carl Reiner (born March 20, 1922) is an American comedian, actor, director, and writer whose career spans seven decades. During the early years of television comedy from 1950 to 1957, he co-wrote and acted on Caesar's Hour and Your Show of Shows, starring Sid Caesar. In the 1960s, Reiner was best known as the creator, producer, writer, and actor on The Dick Van Dyke Show. He also had great success as a film director and writer and partnered with Steve Martin in the 1970s when Reiner co-wrote and/or directed some of Martin's most successful films, including the 1979 film The Jerk. Reiner formed a comedy duo with Mel Brooks in "2000 Year Old Man" and acted in films such as The Russians Are Coming, the Russians Are Coming (1966) and the Ocean's Trilogy (2001–2007). Reiner has won nine Emmy Awards and one Grammy Award during his career. He is the father of actor and director Rob Reiner, author Annie Reiner, and grandfather to Tracy Reiner. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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