Dead Like Me: Life After Death Page #4

remember exactly what I said,

but it wasn't pleasant.

And so I've been haunted

by it for the past five years.

So now I just make sure

that every time I say goodbye

to my younger daughter,

I tell her I love her.

Drives her crazy.

Morning, Crystal.

- Meow, Millie.

- Good morning, Delores.

How was your breakfast meeting?

It's supposed to be anonymous.

Oh, I'm sorry. I keep forgetting.

You're under too much stress.

I just keep thinking about

somebody ratting me out,

- bringing Murray to work.

- Everybody loves Murray.

See how much they love him

when he gets too weak

to use the kitty litter box

and starts spraying the bizhub.

So take some family leave.

Spend some time with Murray

before he, you know, passes.

There's a no-pet

clause in the contract. I checked.

Oh. Bastards.

I'm gonna have to put

that potty mouth of yours

directly into Murray's kitty litter box.

How many interviews we got today?

Sixteen.

- Bring 'em on.

- That's my girl.

- Oh, this is so sexy.

- How is this sexy?

Toenails and hair all over the floor,

faces dead with too much

Botox and too much makeup.

Looks like a mortuary, if you ask me.

Oh, I like mortuaries.

I think they're sexy.

- That's 'cause you're dead.

- No, it's 'cause he's sick.

Uh, can I help you?

I hope so.

Is there someone who works here

- with the last name Baenziger?

- No.

- Oh.

- Great haircut.

I know. What about a client?

Last name Baenziger.

Not on the books for today.

Oh.

Good choice.

You know, the yellow rocks

make it look like spring.

That is just what I thought.

Yeah.

So, do you mind if I go back

and look for my friend?

- Yeah, be my guest.

- Thanks.

Goody. That means we get to play,

you know...

High-risk factor.

Okay, ready?

- Running with scissors.

- Barber on drugs, razor at throat.

The house is right

on the mountain. Ski in, ski out.

My instructor says I'm a natural.

- Then there's her.

- What's high risk about her?

Nothing. I just want her dead.

Baenziger!

Oh, good. Now we get

to play last-minute panic.

Hey.

Daisy.

- Zac?

- Hi.

Is that you?

Yeah. No, uh... Sorry.

Do I know you from somewhere?

I think so. Are you Zac Baenziger?

Yeah. No. Yeah, that's me, for sure.

Uh, were we in high school together?

Graveling!

- I saw it first.

- I saw it.

It's good to see you. Really.

Yeah.

Sorry, I need a signature.

Now, where did my pens go?

There you go.

There you go.

Call 911! Hurry!

Hey, dead guy.

You mean those weren't candies?

No, and we didn't go

to high school together.

We gotta go, guys.

Thank you.

Daisy, what about his lights?

Uh, he'll figure it out.

You know, we've only got 10 minutes.

Rushing a reap! This is bad form.

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