Davy Crockett and the River Pirates

---

The country was big

When it was new

The best men was big

And their yarns was too

And their tallest tales

Folks believed was true

So the more they were told

The more they grew

Davy, Davy Crockett

King of the Wild Frontier

History remembers the name of his gun

And some of the deeds he really done

But most of his chores

For freedom and fun

Got turned into legends

And this here is one

Davy, Davy Crockett

Helping his fame spread wide

Had a lot of furs that he aimed to ship

And he set his mind on a river trip

When a braggin' boatman

Give him some lip

A'claimin' there was no man

He couldn't whip

Davy, Davy Crockett

Tanglin' with Big Mike Fink

Them Kentucky ants got

a bite like an alligator.

Sure ain't particular

what they chaw on.

Look at that, would you?

This is the longest hunt we ever been on.

- Biggest bunch of pelts we ever got, too.

- Leastwise, the heaviest.

Them packhorses is plum wore out

and so am I.

How much longer you figure

we got to walk, anyhow?

I figure we'll reach

the old Ohio pretty soon.

Yeah, sure am looking forward

to that boat ride.

Nothin' to do all day but sit in the sun

and fish all the way down the Natchez.

That's a mighty good idea

of yourn, Davy.

At least we'll get a better price

for our furs there.

You ain't foolin' me none.

You ain't thinking about the price of furs.

You're thinkin' about all that

new country we'll be lookin' at.

- Ow!

- [Squeaking]

[Rattles]

Get away from here.

This ain't your night, is it?

I'm gonna turn in

before something else happens.

That fellow sang worse than you.

Ain't nothing living gonna

keep me awake tonight.

Hey, Davy?

- Hey, Davy?

- Now what?

There's something in bed with me.

Kiss it good night and go to sleep.

[Sniffs]

[Whistle blows]

- There's our boat ride.

- Get a move on, Mahalia.

[Whistle blows]

Listen to the thunder

- Hear the winds roar

- [horse neighs]

Hurricane's a'comin'

Board up the door

Load up the cannon

Call out the law

Worstest calamity that folks ever saw

Girls run and hide

Brave men shiver

He's Mike Fink

King of the River

What's going on here, anyway?

Something's got their fur riled up.

The landing's over there.

Well, boys, hope they don't run out of

Monongahela Red Eye this time!

[Men laugh]

That ought to keep her from drifting.

Say, mister, which one of them fellas

is captain of this boat?

What did you say?

- He wants to know who the captain is.

- [Men laugh]

How long you bushwhackers

been holed up in the backwoods?

Everybody knows who the captain

of the Gullywhumper is.

It's me. Mike Fink.

King of the River.

Well, Captain, meet up with Davy Crockett.

King of the Wild Frontier.

Davy Crockett, huh?

It sure is a small world.

You're a foot shorter than you ought to be.

Don't worry, he's still a'growin'.

Like them yarns

they spread about him.

Mighty hard to live up to sometime.

Well, I don't have no trouble

livin' up to mine.

I am the original ring-tail roarer

from the Thunder Lightning country.

I'm a real snorter and a head-buster.

I can out-run, out-jump,

out-sing, out-swim,

out-dance, out-shoot,

out-eat, outright...

Out-talk?

Yeah, out-talk, out-cuss and out-fight

anybody in the whole Mississippi

and Ohio Rivers put together.

Interesting, but all we wanna know

is how far down you're going?

All the way to New Orleans, of course.

Told you I'm Mike Fink.

King of the River.

This is my private river.

Have you got room for

a couple of private passengers?

- Where you bound?

- Natchez.

We got furs we aim to sell down there.

You get a better price

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)