Date Movie Page #2

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know if hes shooting blanks or not?

Bathroom's down the hall.

Just leave the sample on the counter.

Oh, sorry.

That's Jinxers.

Taught him how to do that.

Julia told me your last name.

- How do you pronounce it?

- Just how it's spelled.

F-O-C-K-Y-E-R-D-O-D-E-R.

- Fockyerdoder?

- Mmm.

Mm-hmm.

Allergic to cats?

Uh, no, no.

I-I-I love cats.

In fact, growing up on a farm,

I once milked a cat.

I got nipples, Grant.

Can you milk me?

May I say that's an exquisite vase.

Ancient artifact, I presume.

That's actually an urn containing

the remains of Frank's mother.

- Well, I'm sure your mother...

would want to celebrate that

Julia finally applied to pastry school.

- What? School?

- Don't you want me to better myself?

No! I want you to work

at the diner until you die.

Grant was just kidding.

Right, Grant?

No!

No, no, no, no, no!

Mama!

- Mama!

- Grandma!

Jinxers. Jinxers, no.

Oh! Grandma Jones! Oh, God!

- No! Jinxers, stop it!

- Hey!

Jinxers! Jinxers, no!

Oh, no, no, Jinxers! No!

- Jinxers, no! No!

- Mama!

- Oh!

- Get off my mama! Stop humpin'!

Bad kitty! Please!

- Jinxers, no!

- Oh!

- I didn't teach him how to do that.

- Jinxers, bad cat!

Jinxers, no!

- Mama!

- That was a disaster.

- It wasn't that bad.

You desecrated my grandmother's remains,

and my father hates you.

Why didn't you tell your parents

about pastry school?

I'm working my way up to it.

- I'm just waiting for the right time.

- Julia, you're a grown woman.

If you haven't noticed,

my family is totally controlling.

- Whoo!

- They meddle in every aspect of my life.

Not to mention,

no one in our family...

- has ever dated outside of our culture.

- He reminds me of Webster.

I just don't see how this

could work between us.

Look, so your family's difficult.

Whose isn't?

Until I met you, my life was boring.

- Oww!

- But you, you're smart...

and interesting and beautiful.

I just want to be with you.

Did you say I was beautiful?

- Come with me.

- Ooh-hoo!

It's just a little Jesus juice!

Whoo!

Where are you taking me?

- What are we-

- You'll see.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Julia Jones, will you marry me?

Yes, Grant Fockyerdoder,

I will marry you.

How much will you give me for this?

No. No!

- Fifty bucks.

- Sh*t. That's it?

But it will destroy all evil!

Oh, screw off, wizard!

- Come on. Let's go get some wine coolers.

- And some hookers.

My precious!

Before you set the wedding date,

I wanted to meet your parents...

because, frankly, Fockyerdoder,

I don't know much about you.

I understand, homeboy.

I'll be watching you.

If you do anything

to corrupt my daughter-

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