Date and Switch

Synopsis: High school seniors Michael and Matty make a pact to help each other lose their virginity before their high school prom. Their plan hits a snag when Matty tells his best friend that he's gay. Michael's supportive but awkward attempts to help Matty fit in put a strain on their decade-long friendship. Their friendship is further tested when Michael falls for Matty's former girlfriend and Matty falls for a guy whom Michael wouldn't approve of. Prom looms and Michael and Matty have to repair their friendship and then figure out their love lives.
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance
Director(s): Chris Nelson
Production: Film Arcade
 
IMDB:
5.8
Metacritic:
56
Rotten Tomatoes:
30%
R
Year:
2014
91 min
20 Views

When I was born, I had a thousand legs

Soon I'll be dancing on a different stage

I'll go to sleep inside a silk cocoon

And be reborn into the afternoon

Good singing. Really good shit.

We're not supposed to curse.

We're doing a play.

I'm just saying, it's good shit.

Deep down I know

I have to turn the page

But I wonder

Will I miss my legs?

I've never, ever been so proud.

Honey, there's Matty.

Oh, look at him.

Oh, he's a natural performer.

- Oh.

- Oh.

Shit.

I don't wanna sing anymore.

Watch this.

- That's different.

- Oh, no, no, no.

Come on. Come on.

Let's get out of here.

Later, motherf*ckers!

We'll edit that out. Still proud.

Whoo!

Can't I just go see a nice musical

without it turning into something gay?

Hey, nothing illegal

or unprotected tonight. Promise?

- Dad, that's gross.

- I'm talking about sex.

You wrap that rascal. Make sure

you put a condom on your penis.

- Dad.

- All right, bye, Dad.

- That is a damn fine shirt you got on.

- Yeah, you like it?

Might get a girl pregnant with that shirt.

Well, I usually take my shirt

off first but, you know.

If you meet some nice girls,

party them hard.

- I will. See you.

- All right, kiddo. Go get them.

We be the highest-ranking

Super-stanking

Filling up the bank

With Benjamin Franklins

Watch me do my thing, the B-boy

Batarang with the gold tooth swing

I'm strange,

But it ain't the same

Propane in the game

And I blow your brain

Watch me swing and swing

And hang, orangutan

My-my beat's like a bangarang

You got to move your feet

And prove to me

You got the beat,

Reveal your inner freak

Yeah.

A shake isn't a sauce, man.

Oh, no. See, anything can be a sauce

if you put it on something else.

- Open up your mind.

- Whatever, I'm not worried about it.

See, those are the kinds of girls

we need to be going out with.

What would you say to that girl right there

if she came up to you right now?

Hi. Hello.

You're terrific, appearance-wise...

...and I would like to take you out

for a food or beverage situation.

- Damn, that's smooth.

- Mm-hm.

- You been working on your game?

- Obviously.

It's apparent.

I've been going out with Ava eight months

and feel like more of a virgin...

...than before we started dating,

if it's possible.

Oh, it is. You're like a super virgin. You

make other virgins look like huge sluts.

And so do you.

And we need to fix that, dude.

We are due. We deserve adult, mature,

grown-up sexual relationships.

Yes.

- What toy did you get?

- I got Shelly the Crab.

Well, I got the punching crunching

robot dudes.

- Oh, no.

- Take him out.

Hit him with the left.

Knock him out. Knock him out.

Boom, boom, boom.

- Ladies.

- Dorks.

I like you a lot.

Um, especially your body

and the hotness of that body.

You're a class act.

Potential wife material, if you were, like,

45 years old, all dried-up and shit.

And that's the problem. This relationship's

not progressing quickly enough...

- ...physically speaking.

- Look at you and then look at me.

You know, you're beautiful,

and I'm just kind of a mess.

Are you breaking up with me

because I won't have sex with you?

You call it sex, I call it

a physical expression of our bond.

I haven't showered in six days.

Like Indians becoming blood brothers...

...or football teammates

getting matching tattoos.

Except sex isn't

as permanent as a tattoo.

It's, like, nine minutes, tops.

In and out, like a cat burglar.

It's just....

That's what I am to you,

a hole for you to go in and out of?

No, no, no. I value the person

built around that hole.

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Alan Yang

Alan Michael Yang (born August 22, 1983) is an American screenwriter, producer and actor. He was a writer and producer for the NBC sitcom Parks and Recreation, for which he received his first Emmy nomination. With Aziz Ansari, Yang co-created the Netflix series Master of None, which premiered in 2015 to critical acclaim. The series was awarded a Peabody Award, and at the 68th Emmy Awards in 2016, Yang and Ansari won for Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series for Master of None, which was also nominated in the Outstanding Comedy Series category. Yang also was the screenwriter of the 2014 comedy Date and Switch. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"Date and Switch" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 24 Jul 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/date_and_switch_6394>.

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