Daria: Is It Fall Yet? Page #3

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You mean Quinn's been dating.

No, Daria.

Oh! Good one, honey. Old Jake Morgendorffer sure appreciates a funny joke.

Jake, will you listen to me, please? Daria's been out with this Tom several

times and we're finally going to meet him, and I want to make sure we have our

game plan together.

Wait, I remember now. The guy without any vocal cords.

I want you to stay cool and relaxed and not embarrass her by getting all nervous

and crazy.

Daria said he communicates by blinking. Now was it one blink for yes or one

blink for no?

Jake, she was joking!

I know! Ha-ha-ha-ha... ! Now, what's the game plan?

The game plan is, you don't say a word.

So he won't feel self-conscious about the vocal cords, right?

Oh... !

Hello! You must be Tom.

I...

I'm Helen Morgendorffer.

Glad to...

Won't you come in?

I'd...

Great!

We've heard so much about you, Tom.

Really?

Um, well, actually...

Hey there, young man! Jake Morgendorffer.

Hi, I'm Tom Sloane.

Sloane? Not the same Sloane as in Grace, Sloane and Page?

Well, that's my dad, so I guess...

Grace, Sloane and Page?! Hey, sign me up for a little of that insider trading.

Little joke, of course. Class firm like your father's would never, uh,

mmm... Say, you know, my vocal cords hurt. I'd better go gargle.

Sorry about that. They've been acting a little strange ever since, oh, I can remember.

Pizza?

Okay.

What's this?

My new car. Well, my grandmother's old one.

Did you want this car?

Well, yeah, after my parents had my old one towed away in the middle of the night.

Note to self:
leave Quinn out on curb tonight.

Oh, hi, Daria!

Um, hello.

Hey, Daria, I didn't know you had a brother.

What?

Jane's going out with your brother? Wow!

What?

You're Tom, right? Jane's boyfriend?

Well, I'm Tom, but...

How long have you and Daria been brothers? I mean, how long has Daria been your

brother? Wait a minute, uh...

Actually...

Um, listen, it's been great talking and all, but we've got to get back to the

Rent-a-Brother shop before they charge us for an extra day. Bye.

You know what, babe? I don't think he's her brother at all.

What's the matter?

I can't do this. I can't spend the evening in there explaining to people that

no, you're not my brother, and no, you're not Jane's boyfriend, you're actually

my, uh...

Yes?

Guy I'm dating.

Okay. I understand. I know, let's bag the pizza place and go to my parents' club.

You're not much for crafty strategizing, are you?

Nobody knows you there. Besides, they charge my folks for meals whether they eat

them or not, so we might as well get their money's worth.

Tom, as much as I'd like to help your family in their time of need...

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