Damsels in Distress Page #5

They're barely competent

for the tasks of everyday life.

They have to drink a quart of beer

just to talk to a woman?

- Two quarts.

- Yet you salivate at the idea...

...of taking the roof off their heads

and throwing them on the street...

...where who knows what would

happen. You call yourself a Christian.

- No, l don't.

- What unkindness and cruelty.

This is the darkness in the heart

of man, which Joseph Conrad...

...wrote about most eloquently.

- He was actually Polish.

- Oh, my God.

Unkind, self-righteous

and pedantic.

ln short, a model journalist.

You should know something

about these girls.

They run the suicide center where

their preferred therapy for depressed...

...and suicidal people is...

...tap dancing.

- l kid you not.

- Tap is a highly effective therapy...

...as well as a dazzlingly

expressive dance form...

...that has been sadly neglected

for too many years.

lt's moronic and barbaric.

You expect tap dancing

to solve people's problems?

No, we don't.

We're using the whole range

of musical dance numbers...

...which have proven themselves

to be effective therapies...

...for the suicidal

and the hopelessly depressed.

That really got me down.

- l thought you handled it well.

- You did? Thanks.

No, it's all this aggression

and hostility that gets me down.

Not just his but also my own.

lt leaves you feeling unclean.

Have you thought of taking a shower?

Maybe you'd feel better.

You're probably right.

No, there's something else.

What Lily was saying about me

being conceited and arrogant.

- l'm sorry.

- No, l think you're right.

l'm really ashamed.

- You're joking.

- No, it's terrible how l've acted.

We're all Christians.

Or l should say Judeo-Christians.

Humility should be our watchword.

The essence of being a good person.

Humility comes from within.

lf it's not there in the first place,

where do you go to get it?

l stopped looking a long time ago.

Very good, Freak.

- You really think so?

- Yes. Certainly.

- Five, six, seven, eight.

- Violet.

ls it such a good idea

to call him Freak?

What?

He's already depressed

and you're calling him Freak.

That's his name. Freak. Freak Astaire.

That's how he wants to be called.

What are you talking about?

Lily was just saying

she likes your dancing.

Five, six, seven, eight.

Are you okay?

What do you mean?

l thought you looked sad

and was wondering...

- ...if there was anything we could do.

- What could you do?

Oh, l know.

You think l'm gonna kill myself

and make you look bad.

No, l'm worried that you'll kill yourself

and make yourself look bad.

Do you have any idea

how demoralizing it is...

...to be constantly questioned

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