Curse of the Pink Panther

- How much?

- Six million.

- But that's ridiculous.

- It's worth 30.

It'll have to be split up.

We'll lose at least 40% of it.

Enough!

What?

I am Clouseau,

and justice will be done

in the name of the "lew."

One year ago today,

Inspector Jacques Clouseau,

the Police Academy's most

illustrious graduate, disappeared.

We felt it appropriate to broadcast

this commemorative program

from the Academy, where

a new generation of police officers

are about to receive their shields.

The question

on every Frenchman's mind is,

"What has happened to

France's greatest detective?

"Why haven't the authorities

been able to solve the mystery?"

Tell the police commissioner

I want to see him.

Oui, Monsieur Prsident.

The president himself gave the order!

And at 3:
00 this morning,

the commissioner woke me up

to say he was putting me in charge. Me!

And I've got one month

to make Operation Paragon a success.

Otherwise, I'll be back on the vice squad

staking out pissoirs

for what is left of my career.

Operation Paragon?

Yes. The President's idea.

If France's greatest detective is missing,

then get the world's greatest detective

to find him.

And how do you find

the world's greatest detective?

By computer. The Commissioner's idea.

Interpol has computer files

on every law enforcement agency

in the world,

and I am supposed to program

the computer to select Clouseau's clone.

But Clouseau...

You know he was an idiot,

and I know he was an idiot,

but the rest of the world sees him

as a fearless deductive genius,

another Sherlock Holmes,

and that's the type of man

we are now looking for.

Then you have a problem.

Yes, because a man like this

might find Clouseau...

A horrible thought.

What's the alternative?

I don't know.

I'm damned if I do,

and I'm damned if I don't.

A series 600 Huxley computer.

You can program it by

voice command, you know.

Ouais. Observe this. Activate.

- Aldous.

- Ready, Dave.

Aldous can even recognize people's voices.

- Amazing.

- Elementary.

Chief Inspector Dreyfus, Sret,

vital statistics, please.

Coming up, Dave.

- What's the delay?

- Lots of material.

Well, just give me

an abbreviated version then.

All right. Charles Larousse Dreyfus.

Born Marseilles, April 1, 19...

Skip that. Skip that.

What is the subject's present occupation?

Subject's present occupation...

Chief Inspector, Criminal Division, Sret.

How's his health?

Last complete physical examination...

January 7th, this year.

Chronic hypertension.

May, 1978, suffered nervous breakdown

and was committed to the state mental...

- Skip!

- Sorry.

Do you want to ask him anything?

Yes.

What are the odds

that the greatest detective in the world

will find Clouseau?

Even money. Take your pick.

Well, aren't you being slightly optimistic?

Not at all.

Why? Are you afraid

he'll drive you crazy again?

Cool it, Aldous.

Just responding with

an obvious observation.

I hope I didn't offend you,

Inspector Dreyfus.

Not at all.

By the way, it's Chief Inspector Dreyfus.

Shame on you, Aldous.

Nobody's perfect. Have a happy day.

Yes?

Prisoner Steiger has arrived.

Show him in.

Come in.

Wait outside.

Sit down.

Maurice Steiger...

15 years for bank robbery.

How much was it?

About 150 million,

give or take a few francs.

And it's never been recovered.

It must be hell, sitting in prison,

dreaming about what

you could do with all that money.

It's not so bad.

I'm a model prisoner.

I come up for parole in six months.

Yes, but there's always the chance

that the Parole Board will turn you down.

I see.

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