Crystal Fairy & the Magical Cactus and 2012


Hey, how's the party? All good?

It's good, man.

Hey, Diego.

Good, and you?

You want some?

Yeah, come in!


Hey, how's it going, Manu?

Here, you want some?

Hey, want some more?

Nice to meet you.


Is that I'm carrying my purse.

How can you even say that?

You can't. You just can't.

And how are you

going to pee, girl?

It's easy.

You're just ridiculous.

You cover me. Cover me.

I bet you didn't

even bring toilet paper.

No, I'll just wipe myself


You're ridiculous.

Hurry up, girl.

Wait for me, girl!

You're taking too long.

You're wearing, like,

four pairs of underwear.

You're ridiculous.

Shut up!

I want to see how the hell

you're going to pee in that.

Look. Someone's coming.

They're American.

They're American.

Say hello!

Say hi to them for me.

Can I have a little bite

of your apple?

It's just a bite.

He says, how many d*cks

have you sucked today?

- Lots.

- Lots!

What are your names?

He says he can cook something

for you if you want.

To the house!

Bye-bye, girls. Good night.


Nice to meet you.

But what's going on?

Are you going back to work or-


Bye, honey!

There they are.

That's Alvaro's car, isn't it?

What? You did coke?

F***, just a little.

This guy said something

about some drag queens?

This guy tells them,

"You're hungry?

I'll make you some rice."

Are you kidding me?

What the f***.

The girls knew English?

He says that San Pedro is safe

because it's, like, a cactus.

It's a natural drug,

and it's not-

Like, it's been condemned

socially because of-

- Hello.

- Hello, good afternoon.

Good afternoon.

Do you have any empanadas left?

Yes, sir, meat empanadas.

Just meat'?

Just meat.

And how much are they?

800 pesos.

I want an empanada. You?

- I'll have one too.

- Okay, me too.

Do you have coffee?

Is it, like,

from a coffee machine?

No, it's instant.

Yes, one coffee

and three empanadas.

Thank you.

He ate a seafood empanada,

and, man,

he puked it all back up

in the middle of the highway.

It was disgusting.

Thank you.

- Very unpleasant.

- Thank you.

That sh*t was gross.

Thank you, sir.

You can eat it here

if you want.

- All right, thank you.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

He invited this chick

to the north.

I thought he was kidding.

Hello, excuse me.

Where is the town square?

The town square, where is it?

- The town square?

- Yes.

Further up.

Further up? Right, thank you.


Do you think I can fit here?

Yeah, right here.

How are you boys doing?

Do you have a cigarette

for me, honey?

Of course.

Here it says,

like I told you before,

that you're going to do well,

that you're going to be happy.

Are you in a relationship?

Are you working?

No, no, not that, see?

Not that.

No, no, no.

Not that, money.

Money. You can't eat with that.

She has to pay! She has to pay!

You're crazy. You're crazy.

Stop, stop, stop!

What happened?

What happened?

Can you explain to me

what happened?

But she gave you a drawing.

She's an American.

She doesn't have

any Chilean money.

Don't bother her anymore.

Sorry about the disturbance.

That girl and that blond.

- Are you okay?

- Yes, yes.


Do you have any fresh lettuce?

On the beach!


Do you have toilet paper?

What do you prefer? Pisco?

Pisco, whatever, man.

Whose stuff is this?

- Hello.

- Hello, good night.


There's no problem

with us being five, right'?

The room is

for four people only.

You'll have to figure it out

yourselves, all right?

Okay, good night. Sleep well.

Thank you.

- Good night.

- Good night.

Good night, thank you.

You're the youngest,

and there's no way

I'm giving up my bed.

What is it'?

No, give it to her, man.

Out the ear?

A dwarf?

- All of it?

- The rest of your life.

All Of it.

Or having a midget chase you

for the rest of your life.

Thank you.

Can you hand me the beer?

We're leaving now.





- Hello, excuse us.

- Hello.

Can I ask you something?


It's that,

we're here with some friends.

We want to drink some San Pedro,

and we wanted to ask you

if you could sell us

that one over there or a piece.


Really? Why not'?

No, because it's mine.


Are you going to drink it,

or what are you going to do?

No, that one is for me.

Yeah, it's for me.

We can pay you good money

for it.

Do you know

where we can find some?

Not around here.

Almost everyone around here

hides them,

at least the few

that have them.

No, I'm not selling.

I'm not selling my cactus, no.

- Darn.

- Nothing.

Nothing, right. Bye.

I'm busy.



Hello, ma'am.

Ma'am, could you sell us

some of your San Pedro?

Not the whole thing.

We can pay a good price for it.

My friend has-impossible?

No, there's no chance you might

sell us a little piece?

Right, okay.

I'm sorry. Thank you.

What if we leave?

Can I have the lighter?


How are you, ma'am?


Good, ma'am, and you?

Good afternoon.

Ma'am, hello.

How are you?

- Hello.

- Hello.

Do you think we could buy

some of your cactus?

Not the whole thing,

but a little piece?

- Please?

- No.

Do you think we could, ma'am?


I'd have to think about it.

Just a little piece?

I'm not sure about this,

but come on in.

You're not in a hurry, are you?

Yes, thank you.

Very pretty. Very pretty.

- Very pretty.

- Yes, yes.

Your house is very pretty.

There are some chairs

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes

Sebastián Silva

All Sebastián Silva scripts | Sebastián Silva Scripts

0 fans

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:



    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)


    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


    "Crystal Fairy & the Magical Cactus and 2012" STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 May 2024. <>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Watch the movie trailer

    Crystal Fairy & the Magical Cactus and 2012


    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.