Criminal Activities

The philosopher

Marcel Proust said,

"We say that the hour of

death cannot be forecast.

But when we say this, we

imagine that hour to be placed

in an obscure and

distant future. "

We gather here to offer support

to Matthew's family

and friends.

I must ask now, if your

cell phone is still on,

please turn it off now

to be fully present.

There is never

a convenient time

for any of us to die.

And yet, how do we

make sense of such

a promising young man's

life cut so short?

The eventual

certainty for us all,

the hour of our death,

suddenly went

from obscure and distant

to a very unreal, reality.

Yet, we are also

here to celebrate

Matthew Burd's life,

and in doing so,

knowing Matthew,

he would want each of you

to live life as he did.

To its fullest.

That if opportunity

presents itself,

do not hesitate, do not waver.

Do not take time for granted.

There is only now.

Holy sh*t!

Bye, see you later.

You can stay as long as

you like, I'm going to Marie's.

- You goin' there now?

- Mm-hm.

Why?

She asked me to come over.

It's some sort of

family emergency.

What, her family found

out she works at Hooters?

Why do you always

have to put her down?

Maybe it's

because I can't walk

from here to the corner without

running into eight

guys she's f***ed.

Bye.

Honey, I was just- Oh!

Watch the suit, watch the suit.

Just kidding, it's

a joke, come on.

Don't be so serious.

I love you.

- I love you!

- Bye, bye.

Bye, bye!

Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye!

- Hey.

- Hey.

Yo!

Hey.

What's up?

I ordered you a drink.

Good, I need one.

- Coming.

- Hey, Zach.

- Hey, Bryce!

- What's up, man?

How's it goin'?

All right, how long's it been?

It's been a while.

- You look good.

- Thank you.

Thank you. You too.

There you go.

Can we get another round

when you get a chance?

You bet, and there's

your Coke, honey.

Thanks, Stacey.

Coke?

Twenty-two days sober.

No sh*t?

Yeah.

You know that line

between being a drinker

and being an alcoholic?

Mm-hm.

He crossed it.

I crossed the sh*t

out of that line.

Wow, sorry to hear that, man.

No. Hey, it's cool. I'm good.

So I hear congratulations

are in order?

You're getting married.

I'm getting married.

Wow.

Yes.

How 'bout you?

No, no, I've

been seeing someone

off and on,

but nothing serious.

- To Matthew.

- Yep.

To Matt.

Can't believe he's dead.

Getting run over by a

bus in broad daylight?

What are the odds?

When it's your time,

it's your time.

That's life,

one minute you're walking

down the street,

next minute- Bam!

Pulling your skull

fragments outta

the front grill

of the city bus.

I'm not so sure that

it was an accident.

What the f*** does that mean?

Well, Matthew called

me a couple weeks ago.

He was depressed,

he was incoherent.

And he thought he

was being followed.

You know what,

and then he told me

he had been outta

work since January,

and that he was flat broke now.

So, anyway, Matt's getting

harassed by creditors.

So he asks you for money.

No, no, he knows

I don't have it.

Look.

All I'm suggesting is that,

it wouldn't surprise me

if a suicide note turned up.

What was that?

- Sh*t.

Ah, sh*t, is that Noah Dorfman?

Scared the sh*t outta me.

Did you

invite him here?

He cornered me

at the services.

Why didn't you invite

the whole goddamn funeral?

Bryce! Hey, man!

- Hey!

- How you doin'?

- All right, all right.

- Good to see you, Warren.

- Hey, man.

- Good to see you again.

- Yeah, yeah.

- Hey!

- Hey!

- Come here, buddy.

Poodles! How you doin'?

- Are you good?

- Long time.

That's a nice

f***in' watch, man.

Thanks, man,

that was my dad's, yeah.

Lucky sperm club?

It has been a long time!

Hey, make sure I get

all of your e-mails.

I'm on the reunion

planning committee!

I'm in charge of

tracking everyone down.

- Reunion?

- Yeah!

That's in- You know

that's in three years?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I know, I know, I know.

Yeah, you know, but, you know,

but my New Year's

resolution was

no more putting off till

tomorrow what you can do today.

True.

- That and buy a Stair Master.

- New Year's resolution?

- Yeah.

It's like, October, Noah.

Time flies.

What have you

been doing though,

other than planning the

reunion for three years?

Well, I am in real estate.

Real estate!

Yeah, yeah, let me

give you a card, you know.

Of course, in this market you

can't give sh*t away, but...

Is that your sales pitch?

'Cause you got me.

I hear you're gettin'

married Zach, congrats.

Man, I got some great listings,

great neighborhoods

for starting a family,

that kinda thing.

Yeah, I'm good, Noah.

So what about you,

you got a girl, or...?

You know, I do actually.

Yeah? Oh, good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's getting

pretty serious actually.

It's true what

they say, you know,

there's someone out there

for everyone, even him.

Even you, even you!

Even you, come on!

I feel like we're in

high school right now.

Right now, at this moment.

I bet your rich

daddy's gonna throw you

one hell of a wedding.

Well...

He passed, actually,

blood clots.

Sorry to hear that.

That sucks, man, sorry.

Thanks guys, thank you, yeah.

Yeah.

And he was worth a lot

of money, your father.

You know, I mean

dealing with lawyers

and the estate,

that's a big headache.

You know, you're spot on about

the real estate market,

I say the same thing

to all my clients when

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