Crimes and Misdemeanors

Synopsis: Judah Rosenthal is an ophthalmologist and a pillar of the community who has a big problem: his mistress Dolores Paley has told him that he is to leave his wife and marry her - as he had promised to do - or she will tell everyone of their affair. When he intercepts a letter Dolores has written to his wife Miriam, he is frantic. He confesses all to his shady brother Jack who assures him that he has friends who can take care of her. Meanwhile, filmmaker Cliff Stern is having his own problems. He's been working on a documentary film for some time but has yet to complete it. He and his wife Wendy have long ago stopped loving one another and are clearly on their way to divorce. He falls in love with Halley Reed who works with a producer, Lester. Cliff soon finds himself making a documentary about Lester and hates every minute of it.
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Director(s): Woody Allen
Production: Orion Pictures Corporation
  Nominated for 3 Oscars. Another 16 wins & 21 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
104 min

We're all very proud of

Judah Rosenthal's philanthropic efforts.

His endless hours of fundraising

for the hospital, the new medical centre,

and now the ophthalmology wing which,

until this year, had just been a dream.

But it's Judah Rosenthal, our friend,

that we most appreciate.

The husband, the father,

the golf companion.

- Naturally for a medical problem...

- You're blushing, darling.

...weekends or holidays.

But you can also call Judah to find out

which is the best restaurant in Paris.

Or Athens.

Or which hotel to stay at in Moscow.

Or the best recording

of a particular Mozart symphony.

My father is so nervous

about having to get up and speak.

I knew he was nervous when you didn't

eat any of those cocktail weenies.

He was so courageous all week,

then suddenly, tonight, stage fright.

Really, Judah, you were fine

till you got home from work today.

- Any mail?

- It's exactly where I left it this morning.

I haven't had a free second all day.

If you're gonna take a shower, you better

do it, because I have to use it, too.

I dread making that speech tonight.

Dear Miriam Rosenthal.

I'm at the lowest point of my life

as I write you this letter.

I wish to cause no suffering

but, because I'm going through pure hell,

I ask if you can meet me one time.

Your husband and I

are more than intimate friends

and have been deeply in love

for over two years now.

This must be faced, as there are so many

ramifications and complications.

Many promises were made, etc.

I need an open exchange

with you to clear things.

For all three of us to go on,

the situation has got to be

confronted in some fashion.

Please contact me at this number.

I want what's best for everyone.

Dolores Paley.

That the new ophthalmology wing is now

a reality is not just a tribute to me,

but to a spirit of community, generosity,

of mutual caring

and answered prayers.

Now, it's funny I use the term "answered

prayers". You see, I'm a man of science.

I've always been a sceptic.

But I was raised quite religiously.

And while I challenged it, even as a child,

some of that feeling

must have stuck with me.

I remember my father telling me

"The eyes of God are on us always."

The eyes of God.

What a phrase to a young boy.

I mean, what were God's eyes like?

Unimaginably penetrating,

intense eyes, I assumed.

And I wonder if it was just a coincidence

that I made my specialty ophthalmology.

I'm so proud of you, Judah.

Sharon is. We all are.

Let's get one of

Miriam and Judah together.

- Why did you write that letter?

- You know why.

- You wanna destroy my life? My family?

- I want her to know what you're like.

It was lying on the table all day.

By a miracle, I got it first.

You told me over and over again

you'd leave Miriam.

- I didn't!

- You did!

- I gave up business opportunities.

- Pipe dreams.

- And other men wanted me.

- What do you want from me?

- You think this was easy?

- I want what you told me you wanted.

To be together. Otherwise

I don't know what I'll do.

I'll jump out the window, I swear!

You've been my whole life for two years.

I can't go back to the way things were.

I was at a low point when we met.

You changed that.

I never said I'd leave Miriam.

It's wishful thinking.

"There's no passion. It's boring."

Those are your words.

Unless you were lying to me

or there's more to this that I don't know.

- Have you met someone else?

- What? Oh, come on.

- For God's sake, Dolores. Dolores...

- What?

Now, look. I've lived with her 25 years.

The roots are very deep.

I can't go on leading two lives.

Well, you're not doing her any favour by

pretending. I'm not gonna be without you.

I'm not gonna let this happen to me

without a fight. I wanna speak to Miriam.

- Dolores, nothing is happening. All right?

- No!

Yes! Now listen to me, please. Just

bear with me. We'll work something out.

Let me get my thoughts together.

Just don't do anything rash.



It's gonna be OK.

Oh, God.

You were gonna throw me aside

like a squeezed lemon!

- Don't dramatise this!

- I've given you the best years of my life

and you were willing to go on and on.

Get out of here.

I know you for what you are.

I'm lucky I found you out.

Those are my clothes!

That was great, wasn't it?

With the tuxedos and the evening gowns.

- Great.

- It was wonderful to live like that.

This is awful. Let me see

if I can get a cab. You stay here.

- Wanna see a movie again tomorrow?

- Sure, Uncle Cliff.


Unless... Maybe we should make it

a museum day. You know?

I promised your father on his deathbed

I'd give you a well-rounded education.

We probably shouldn't go to the movies

every day, just once in a while.

Even though I'd love to. You know?

So while we wait for a cab,

I'll give you your lesson for today. OK?

Your lesson is this: Don't listen

to what your schoolteachers tell you.

Just see what they look like. That's how

you'll know what life is gonna be like.

You heard it here first. I think I see a cab.

If we run quickly, we can kick the crutch

from that old lady and get it.

- I'm back!

- Where were you?

You know. Just out and around.

- You took your niece to the movies again.

- I'm crazy about that kid. She's just great.

My brother's in town. He wants us

to join him for a dinner party tonight.


- Please. You gonna make another scene?

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Woody Allen

Heywood "Woody" Allen is an American actor, comedian, filmmaker, and playwright, whose career spans more than six decades. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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