Cops and Robbers

Synopsis: Tom and Joe are disillusioned New York City cops who decide to pull off one big robbery and retire on the proceeds. Bearer bonds are what the local Mafia boss will buy, so that's what they go for. Central Park is the location for the switch. Can they come out of it with their lives and the money ?
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Aram Avakian
Production: United Artists
89 min

Attention all units...

On the Brooklyn Bridge...

a stalled car blocking

the right-hand lane.

As you leave Brooklyn

starting over to the city...

cross on the Parkway.

Very, very heavy

traffic this morning.

Bumper to bumper...

Will you move your ass?

Look at him!

He's got room up there

and he doesn't move!


What is it with

all this traffic?

Nobody's budging,

for Christ's sake.

This traffic

shouldn't build up...

for at least

another 2 exits.

Does everybody work

at 7:

in this goddamn town?

Aw, Christ, is it hot.


Coming up, the lower BQE

out of the Brooklyn Bridge...

be prepared to squeeze

to your left again.

The Manhattan-Williamsburg

Bridge is moving...

What are you gonna do?

...might serve

as a possible alternative

into the city.

An accident...

You gotta take the good

with the bad, right?

Starting out

at the Lincoln Tunnel...

You get up, you go in,

you do your job...

you make a buck,

you go home.

What the hell's the use

of complaining, right?

What the hell are

you honking about?

l can't move until

he moves, you idiot!

Forget it.

They got the nerve to

call this an expressway.

Look at that cool

son of a b*tch...

sitting there in

his air-conditioned...

Lincoln Continental.

Yeah. l know.

And his lane moves

before ours, right?


lt figures. annual yield

of 5.20% a year.

Now, either way, you're moving

straight to financial security.

That's at the Capitalists

and lmmigrants Trust...

a member of FDlC.


The time right now--

it's 7:


Remember that

liquor store...

a couple of weeks ago?

Guy knocked it off

disguised as a cop?


That was me.

lt's too early in

the morning for put-ons.

l'm not putting you on,


l got 233 bucks.

On the level?

On a stack of Bibles.

-You really did it.

-Yeah, l really did it.

What do you think

of your old buddy now?

Boy, you got

some pair of balls.

You bet your sweet ass.

They clang when l walk.

Let's get to work.

The thing

that really got me...

was how easy it was.

Walk in, take it, walk out.

What about the clerk?

He give you a hassle or what?

l got a gun up his nose.

ls he gonna get a medal

holding his boss' dough?

Right. Right.

lt was so easy.

To this day, l can't believe

how easy it was.

Want to hear something

really spooky?

Yeah, sure.

Ever since it happened,

it's never been better...

in the sack

with Grace and l.

You know what l mean?

Go figure it out.

All right, let's listen up.

Be on the lookout

for 3 1/2 cans--


ignition mixture--

stolen from City College.

The perpetrators are

unknown at this time.

Some of it may be outdated.

However, it can be used

as follows...

a report from...

...and l paid

my admission.

You know, l made friends...

and this fella

took me home...

Hey, Sarge.

We got Polansky.

Can l let him

go upstairs?

Then he pulled out

an attache case, you know?

And he had flashbulbs...

and he had all kind of

nudity-type costumes...

Hey, Louie,

l've got the pictures.

This is you, baby.

We got you

and we got you right.

This is your whole

modus operandi.

lt can't be anybody

else but you.

What do you mean, my M.O.?

That was my M.O.

you understand?

lf l had an M.O.,

my new M.O. today...

would be banks

and armored cars...

and as soon as l went in,

bang, bang, bang.

There'd be no witnesses,

you understand?

l tell ya.

Well, this time

there was witnesses.

Man, l don't even want

to hear that word.

Those are seeds.

No drugs, seeds.

Lab canary seeds

for my bird.

Well, where'd you

get the seeds?

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Donald E. Westlake

Donald Edwin Westlake (July 12, 1933 – December 31, 2008) was an American writer, with over a hundred novels and non-fiction books to his credit. He specialized in crime fiction, especially comic capers, with an occasional foray into science fiction and other genres. He was a three-time Edgar Award winner, one of only three writers (the others are Joe Gores and William L. DeAndrea) to win Edgars in three different categories (1968, Best Novel, God Save the Mark; 1990, Best Short Story, "Too Many Crooks"; 1991, Best Motion Picture Screenplay, The Grifters). In 1993, the Mystery Writers of America named Westlake a Grand Master, the highest honor bestowed by the society. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Cops and Robbers" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 23 Oct. 2021. <>.

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