Cop Car

Wiener.

Wiener.

B*obs.

B*obs.

P*ssy.

P*ssy.

Damn.

God damn.

Ass.

A**hole.

Ass face.

How far do you

think we've gone?

Fifty miles.

I think we're almost

to the woods. Come on.

Don't get

rust poisoning.

Come on!

I thought it was

an arrowhead.

B*tch.

B*tch.

Sh*t.

Sh*t.

Shithead.

Shithead.

F***.

Say it. F***.

That's the worst cuss.

Actually my friend,

he's in eighth grade,

he says that it's just a

different language from Russia.

So it's fine

to say it.

Oh, look!

What?

Snake hole!

I'm going to leave mine in

there in case they try to escape.

Good idea.

Want to see

a magic trick?

No way!

Want some?

Yeah!

We gotta

ration it, though.

Okay.

Two centimeters

each a day.

Wait, why don't you

keep it in your pocket?

Pickpockets.

Got my wallet

in here, too.

The creek should be

right over... Get down!

What?

It's the cops!

We haven't even

been gone that long.

You're right.

Did they see us?

I don't think so.

We can distract them.

Throw this on the far side

to make a noise.

Oh, crap!

You hit it!

Oh, sh*t!

Sh*t!

I hit a cop car!

Let's go!

Wait, wait, wait! It has

my fingerprints on it.

Mine, too.

Okay. Go get it.

No way!

Fine. Chicken.

Wait.

Go that way.

It's better camouflage.

There's no one

in there.

They could be hiding.

My dad says sometimes cops

put empty cop cars near roads

so that people won't speed, 'cause

they think they're real cop cars.

But there's no road.

Do you see it?

I don't know.

It could be any of them.

Come on,

let's just go.

I dare you

to touch it.

The cop car?

No way!

If I do it,

you have to do it.

Okay.

Ready?

Stay low just in case

they're hiding.

Now!

Okay.

Your turn.

Oh, crap. Oh,

crap. Oh, crap. Oh, crap.

Oh, crap.

Come on, come on.

Come on!

No way!

Quick, get in!

Get in!

Why?

Look.

So?

Hit the boosters!

There's a lot of

bad guys behind us!

I'll shoot 'em!

Did you kill them?

Look out!

You're driving us

right off of a cliff! No!

Where's the siren?

We need to

get out of this lava!

Holy sh*t!

No way.

Which one?

The big one?

It fits.

Do you know

how to drive?

Yeah, I know.

Mario Kart.

Yeah, me too.

Whoa!

Me first!

Wait!

Try this one.

Awesome!

Why isn't it going?

It's moving.

It's moving!

Quick, get in.

We're going to

get in trouble.

We already ran away.

It doesn't matter.

What if someone

sees us?

We'll just tell them

we're cops.

Good idea.

This is our

cop car now.

Oh, oh, oh!

Oh, sh*t, oh,

sh*t, oh, sh*t! Oh, sh*t!

Oh, sh*t!

Oh, sh*t!

Oh!

That was so cool.

This is our cop car!

This is our cop car!

This is our cop car!

F***. Sh*t.

Hello, hey. Hey. Hey there.

Hey there, Miranda.

Hello, Miranda.

Hey there, Miranda.

Hey. Hello, there.

Dispatch. Hey there,

Miranda. Mitch Kretzer.

Hey there, Sheriff.

Everything okay?

It's been better,

I'm afraid.

Oh, no.

What's wrong?

Well, I seem to be having

some trouble with my radio.

Not sure what it is.

Is this the one

in your patrol car,

or the one you got

in your truck?

Patrol car. Some kind of

odd interference I'm getting,

maybe a trucker channel

cutting through.

Or those boys out east with their

remote control airplanes. Who knows?

Anything odd

on your end?

No. Not that

I can think of.

I tried to radio in

to y'all ladies.

You didn't hear that?

Oh, no. Must not be

coming through.

I see that.

I thought y'all was just

giving me the cold shoulder.

Never, Sheriff.

Okay, well, I'm gonna see if

it's a short in the receiver,

and in the meantime,

if you do need to reach me,

why don't you just go ahead

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