Confessions of a Sociopathic Social Climber

Synopsis: Social satire based on the best-seller by Adele Lang humorously chronicles the life of Katya Livingston, a self-centered, obnoxious and conceited 28-year-old ad sales exec who won't let anything or anyone stand in her way in getting to the top of the San Francisco social ladder. When tax inspectors question her claims Katya is forced to keep a financial diary and finds time to add details about her friends, enemies and lovers all from her unique point of view.
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Dana Lustig
Production: Evolution Pictures
96 min

Perfect.|Just perfect.

Okay Dove,|move closer to your sister.

Mom, give me a big smile.

Great. We're beautiful! Now|let's get one with the groom.

Where is Nathan?




Stan, could you make this quick? I'm|kind of in the middle of something.

Katya, I'm in jail,|I'm your tax accountant...

and you're probably|going to get audited.

-Is that good enough?|-Your point is?

You need to start|a tax journal...

and write down all|of your expenses.

Darling,|I'm not the bookkeeper.

I have a frantic social|calendar, a thriving career...

and a scandalous love life.

Well, unless you want to add 'imminent|prison sentence', you'll do it.


Oh my God!

What are you doing?

Taking a breather. The best man|really lives up to his title.

He's not the best man!

I'm Nathan, the groom.

My God. I'm sorry.|I really am.

I missed the wedding.|Just got here.

Great! You found him!

Thank you.


Good afternoon, everyone.


Katya!|Katya, wait!

Would you stop stalking me?

It's over, okay! Don't|I have a restraining order?

Yes. Sweetie, come on...

I'll never get a girl.

It's a great deal, man.

How much?

-Which one?|-The Dalmation.




Come on, Darling,|don't pout.

Every socialite in San Francisco|is going to see me with that bag.

Honestly,|you should be paying me.

First entry of stupid|tax journal...

Nazi accountant|is forcing me to keep.

Mont Blanc pen to write down|expenditures: two hundred dollars.

Bang & Olufson|mini-recorder...

since Mont Blanc|chipped manicure:

free,|as pilfered from office.

Spent two thousand dollars on wear|and return gown for Dove's wedding.

Worn to wedding,|funeral and bar mitzvah.

Still has tag,|and luckily, no stains.

Thank God for 30 day|return policy.

A tax journal?

Something about 'over|declared business expenses.'

I don't know, who has the time?

If you still need write-offs, you|should reconsider adopting Sabelo.


The orphan from Uganda|I was telling you about.

You can sponsor him through Youth Aid,|the non-profit I volunteer for.

Eliza, I told you I barely|have time to keep a journal...

let alone breast feed|an orphan.

He's eight.

You can't smoke in here.

You know what?|You're better than the patch.

So, how was your date|last night?

Horrible. He fell into a|manhole and now he's suing me.

Let me guess.|The Curse of Namambo?

I haven't had a boyfriend in|three years because of it.

-When it's going to wear off?|-Elevator's here.

I don't know when it's going to end,|but that's what you get when...

you try to pay a West Indies high|priestess ten bucks to do you cornrows.

I thought I was supporting|the local economy!

It just goes to show you|you try to do a good deed...

and you end up with a voodoo curse|that cripples potential husbands.

This is why I avoid|philanthropy.

-Good morning.|-Good morning, Eliza.

Katya, you're late.

By, like, five minutes,|Gatekeeper.

Where'd you get that bag?

I went to Lulu Guinness|and I bought it.

They cost a fortune.

Darling, don't you know that|looking good is everything?

No matter how much it costs?


Wait!|I made seaweed snacks.

They're totally organic.|No sugar, no flour...

No fun.

Sorry.|She doesn't mean it.

Who the hell are you?

I'm Sebastian.

Sebastian who?

What is that thing|in my office?

What thing?

That pre-pubescent|thing in my office?

You must mean the new hire?

Mr. Cosgrove will be in|shortly to explain it to you.

How am I supposed to get any work done|with someone breathing next to me?

It is an office|for two people, Katya.

I do not need this right now!

-I will be in boss-man's office.|-You are not allowed.

Not allowed?

You know, actually,|I forgot...

I got you a little something.

Lulu Guinness?

For me?

Stan, darling, if I adopt|a Third World child...

can I claim an exemption|as a single mother?


You mean you're going|to be a mom?

No, silly.|It's like rent-a-kid.

That Sally Struthers thing,|'for 79 cents a day, blah blah'

Thank god. I mean, I'm|moved by your selflessness.

So, yes or no|on the exemption?

No. But the IRS loves charitable|deductions. So do it.

Now this is|really important...


Katya, what are you|doing in my office?

Don't you want to talk to me|about that child in my office?

As a matter of fact I would|like to talk to you about that.

It seems that you have now scared away|another assistant art director.

And this time|in a record two weeks.

It is not my fault that she|couldn't handle the competition...

or that I'm a good|eleven pounds thinner.

Is this a bad time?

This is a perfect time.|Come on in. Come on in.

Now you can meet our new assistant|art director. This is Sebastian.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

I'm sure it is.

Lyle, if you|had consulted me first...

I might've suggested someone old enough|to take clients to drinks.

Actually, I'll be|twenty-one in a month.

Whatever he lacks in age, he|more than makes up for in brains.

He's a smart kid, you know he|graduated from your Alma Mater.


Of course. Can I have a word|with you? Alone?

Sure, I'll just|be in our office.

It's such an honor|to meet you.

Our office? I'm not sharing|an office with that tween!

This is an ad agency,|not Romper Room!

Will you hold that thought while|you're stepping away from my desk?

Thank you.

Look, Katya, I tried to find|someone with real experience...

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Adele Lang

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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