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Okay Dove,|move closer to your sister.
Mom, give me a big smile.
Great. We're beautiful! Now|let's get one with the groom.
Where is Nathan?
Katya, I'm in jail,|I'm your tax accountant...
and you're probably|going to get audited.
-Is that good enough?|-Your point is?
You need to start|a tax journal...
and write down all|of your expenses.
Darling,|I'm not the bookkeeper.
and a scandalous love life.
Well, unless you want to add 'imminent|prison sentence', you'll do it.
Oh my God!
What are you doing?
Taking a breather. The best man|really lives up to his title.
He's not the best man!
I'm Nathan, the groom.
My God. I'm sorry.|I really am.
I missed the wedding.|Just got here.
Great! You found him!
Good afternoon, everyone.
Would you stop stalking me?
It's over, okay! Don't|I have a restraining order?
Yes. Sweetie, come on...
I'll never get a girl.
It's a great deal, man.
-Which one?|-The Dalmation.
Come on, Darling,|don't pout.
First entry of stupid|tax journal...
Nazi accountant|is forcing me to keep.
Bang & Olufson|mini-recorder...
since Mont Blanc|chipped manicure:
free,|as pilfered from office.
Worn to wedding,|funeral and bar mitzvah.
Still has tag,|and luckily, no stains.
Thank God for 30 day|return policy.
A tax journal?
I don't know, who has the time?
Eliza, I told you I barely|have time to keep a journal...
You can't smoke in here.
You know what?|You're better than the patch.
So, how was your date|last night?
Horrible. He fell into a|manhole and now he's suing me.
Let me guess.|The Curse of Namambo?
-When it's going to wear off?|-Elevator's here.
I don't know when it's going to end,|but that's what you get when...
It just goes to show you|you try to do a good deed...
This is why I avoid|philanthropy.
-Good morning.|-Good morning, Eliza.
Katya, you're late.
By, like, five minutes,|Gatekeeper.
Where'd you get that bag?
I went to Lulu Guinness|and I bought it.
They cost a fortune.
Darling, don't you know that|looking good is everything?
No matter how much it costs?
Wait!|I made seaweed snacks.
They're totally organic.|No sugar, no flour...
Sorry.|She doesn't mean it.
Who the hell are you?
What is that thing|in my office?
That pre-pubescent|thing in my office?
You must mean the new hire?
It is an office|for two people, Katya.
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"Confessions of a Sociopathic Social Climber" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 22 Oct. 2020. <https://www.scripts.com/script/confessions_of_a_sociopathic_social_climber_5863>.