Confessions Of A Shopaholic Page #5

move from the newsstands?

Real, unvarnished stories,

whether the people that we are

writing about like them or not.

Successful Saving is currently

the People magazine

of financial journalism,

and this is where that ends.

From now...

Sorry.

From now on

we don't copy, we examine.

- We probe.

- Ooh!

I liked your piece.

I said that on the phone.

- Good. Good.

- Hayley!

What do you say a three-week trial.

- And give her this cubicle.

- Oh, this one's lovely.

They're all three by six.

You can start with a thousand words

on the effect of changing

interest rate on store card APRs.

Good.

You still have the label

on your new glasses.

What? Oh.

You took a job

at a savings magazine? You?

I know it sounds bad,

but it is, in fact,

part of a very structured plan.

Yeah, that's great,

but then in a lot of ways

it's kinda not great.

What do they call it

when an animal rights person

gets trampled to death by a cow?

I don't think there is a word for that.

"Ironic." Ironic

that Rebecca Bloomwood

is advising people

on how to handle money.

But I guess it would be nice

if my maid of honor

could afford her own dress.

- He asked?

- Yes!

Oh, my God!

You should've been there.

- How did he say it?

- Hey!

The, uh, credit limit

on your card was reached.

You know, I think I want my husband-

to-be to propose to me in Barneys.

- What are you doing?

- Nothing.

- Yes, you are.

- I just found the perfect book for you.

Control Your Urge to Shop,

with Garrett E. Barton.

That's me.

Do you find yourself

constantly drawn toward stores?

- Yes.

- Nope.

Does your heart quicken

when you see new merchandise

in neatly stacked piles?

- Yes! This guy's good.

- No.

Did you answer no to these questions

and are consequently in denial?

- Yes.

- No!

Did you just say "no" again?

- No.

- Yes.

Step one:
de-clutter your life.

Throw it all out.

Just box it up and toss it!

Simplicity and order

are your new watchwords.

Excuse me. Hello?

It's a fresh start calling.

And it's for you.

On your way to work,

ignore the siren call

of the store window.

Your new mantra is, "Do I need this?"

No.

What's this?

A thousand words

on store card APRs?

Which looks as if it's been copied

straight out of Money for Dummies.

No, I wanted a thousand words

on APRs from an angle.

Is that not an angle?

Not unless you call "head-on" an angle.

- No, I don't.

- Try it again.

- Remind me why I hired you.

- OK.

Rebecca?

Did you just type "good angles

on APRs" into Google?

Yes. I Googled.

- Am I fired?

- Get your coat.

You know these guys, right?

Comintex? Communications company?

Yes. Absolutely.

This year has been a year

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