Comet Page #4

I'm not trying to f*** you.

If that's what you're

worried about, I mean.

I'm not gonna ask you out

because I don't believe in love.

I think all relationships

deteriorate into hate

indifference or... Well,

yeah, those two things.

My parents have been

together for 32 years.

- And they're happily in love.

- No, they're not.

- Yes, they are.

- No, they're not.

If they haven't divorced by now

probably means they've

just surrendered to the fact

that being apart isn't much

better than being together.

You know, the lesser of two evils.

Trust me, it's like an emotional

holocaust between your parents right now.

They probably have lukewarm

feelings about you too.

I'm Dell, by the way.

So, no offense, but I have

a-a thing about shaking hands.

Oh, my God. You are a little crazy.

That's great.

- You're not impressing me.

- I disagree.

You know, you should stop trying

to sound so smart all the time.

You just wind up sounding really dumb.

It's just I realized why

you date guys like that.

You have terrible taste in

men because you're superficial.

You're fooling yourself in the hopes

of finding something redeemable.

It's because of love.

That's your blind spot.

You gotta give up on that.

Wow. Okay.

Well, I thank you for

your insight, stranger

but I actually believe love is real.

I'm gonna go now.

Wait.

Can I still get your...

- Hello, boyfriend.

- Hey.

Hey, listen, Roxette's on,

and the good part is coming up.

Can I call you back?

Wait-wait, I just have to tell you

something more important really quick.

You know that book I've been reading,

"The Selfish Gene" by Richard Dawkins...

Leave the winter on the ground

There's this fascinating

part I just read about memes.

He basically says that ideas are like

genes that self-replicate and mutate

like a cultural form of evolution...

Touch me now, I close my eyes...

I was thinking how that

applies to us, you know?

The idea of us, how we've

really mutated and evolved...

And it's a hard winter's day...

Right? because you think about it, we were

just dumb, young kids when we first met.

And then we broke up, got

back together, blah blah blah.

And now, we're this really

mature, loving couple

who's grown respect and

admiration for each other.

You know what I mean?

Kimberly?

You hung up on me, didn't you?

But it's over now

From the moment we touched

Until the time had run out

Yeah

Well, maybe you could.

Well, because I'd like her

to be at the best place.

Well, then maybe you can

introduce me to the head guy

at the cancer immunology lab.

Because I've taken an

interest, that's all.

Yes, mom, I meditated.

I meditate before every

date, but it didn't help.

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