Code Name: The Cleaner Page #5

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- Yeah, like, do I own that place?

- Why are you messing with me?

- I'm not messing with you.

Otherwise, how would I know

that this place only has three exits?

Or that that woman eats a

short-stack of blueberry pancakes

every morning without syrup?

How would I know that?

That this guy drinks two cups of

coffee, then steals the sugar packets

when no one's looking?

Oscar, put the

Sweet'N Low down... now!

Gina! Gina.

Look,

some strange stuff has

been happening to me.

There's only one

explanation... am I...?

- A fool?

- No.

- Seriously!

- What...

Look, Gina,

am I a secret agent,

- you know, licensed to kill...

- Shh shh shh.

Shh.

We shouldn't even be

talking about this.

Of course, I mean, this place

could be bugged. Sure.

Go ahead,

tell me more.

- You're a killer.

- A killer...

like... like Green Beret,

Navy Seal, Army Ranger?

No, you're in

a class by yourself.

- By myself.

- You've got a code name...

"The Cleaner. "

The Cleaner.

Listen, the government

calls you in to mop up.

Okay, I see where

they going with this...

The Cleaner

mops up trouble.

Gina, how many men

have these hands killed?

Oh, they've taken out

a lot of trash.

Of course... keeping the world

safe from human debris.

- Destroyed millions of germs.

- Germ warfare.

Cleaned countless

toilet seats!

"Cleaned countless

toilet sea... "

- What?

- You're a janitor, dumbass.

- No.

- I don't have time for this.

No no no no,

I am special ops!

Try special "mops. "

"Broom Raider"!

Let me break it down for you...

you're a janitor.

You work at Digital Arts.

Huh? Nah.

No no no no no no.

- You had to see me yesterday.

- Check, please.

- Oh, one second.

- I'm, like, flipping off balconies,

I cannonballed onto a truck

and landed like a cat.

I was like James Bond

on Red Bull.

Jake, you know people can do

incredible things when they're scared.

Scared? Who said anything

about being scared?

- Ain't nobody scared.

- Eggs still up, Gina!

Boo!

Scramble this, Charlie.

There he is. I know the back

of that head any damn where.

Hey, and with

your church clothes on.

Where the hell

have you been, Jake?

- I know you guys, right?

- Yeah, I'm your daddy.

Come on, Jake,

don't play dumb.

He not playing.

Look at his face.

What's going on?

Y'all... y'all mad at me?

I've been in sh*t water

all morning.

- I'm mad at everybody!

- So I really am a janitor.

Yeah, you. But me,

I got bigger dreams.

I'm a rapper inside.

I'm about to explode.

Come on, the "Clean

Dirty Doo"?

# It's all about doo-doo,

they're trying to flush me #

# I ain't diarrhea

so you can't rush me #

# It's doo-doo! Listen to me closely,

wiping me like paper #

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