Cobain: Montage of Heck Page #3

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they wanted him out.

I think the sad part

of the whole thing

is that Kurt just really

wanted to be with his mom.

Underneath the bridge

Tarp has sprung a leak

And the animals are trapped

They've all become my pets

And I'm living off of grass

And the drippings

from my ceiling

It's okay to eat fish

'Cause they don't have

any feelings

Something in the way

Mmm-mmm

Something in the way, yeah

Mmm-mmm

Something in the way

Mmm-mmm

Something in the way, yeah

Mmm-mmm.

He just was in so much pain

that he, you know,

took it out on his mom

and took it out on his dad

and took it out

on his siblings.

But it's almost like

he didn't...

He didn't feel worthy because

he was rejected, basically.

And I don't know how anybody

deals with having

your whole family reject you.

Like most babies smell like butter

His smell smelled

like no other...

He was born

scentless and senseless

He was born

a scentless apprentice...

Ah!

In a community that stresses

macho male sexual stories

as a highlight

of all conversation,

I was an underdeveloped,

immature little dude

that never got laid

and was constantly razzed.

Oh, poor little kid.

It bothered me,

probably more so because I was horny,

and frequently had

to make up stories like,

"When I went on vacation,

I met this chick

and we f***ed

and she loved it."

Et cetera, et cetera.

This typical pubescent problem

was in effect during the

height of my problems

with my father and stepmom,

you know,

the typical wicked stepmom story.

And so I moved

to both grandparents'

and four sets

of aunts and uncles

and so forth and so on

within the year.

And in eighth grade,

my mom had no choice to take me in

because my dad packed my stuff

and drove me to her house in the

morning and left me there.

She was pissed.

I accumulated

quite a healthy complex,

not to mention a complexion.

Then one day I discovered the most

ultimate form of expression ever...

Marijuana.

Oh, boy, pot.

I could escape all day long

and not have routine

nervous breakdowns.

Trevor was a guy I hated,

but resorted to becoming friends with

because he was the only person

I could get pot from.

He was the kingpin.

Trevor "Ace" John Dernan...

All white trash,

lowlife scum of the Earth according to the jocks...

Had been going to this

girl's house after school

and they invited me.

We got to the door

and a very fat girl let us in.

It wasn't obvious to me

for over an hour

that this girl

seemed kind of quiet

until one of the guys

pointed out

that she was in

a special ed class.

I'm sure a lot of kids would call her

a "retard" and some just "slow."

And at the time and

still to this day,

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