Club Paradise

Synopsis: Injured while risking his life to save an angry German shepard, Chicago Firefighter Jack Moniker retires and moves to a small carribean island named St. Nicholas. There, he is befriended by the owner of a run-down resort, Ernest Reed. Greedy developers are schemeing to wrest Reed's coveted beach front property from him for non-payment of taxes. Jack comes to Ernest's rescue, and together they renovate and reopen the resort catering to affluent Americans. The film follows the zany exploits of the proprietors, guests and various colorful island denizans, as they break in the new "Club Paradise".
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Harold Ramis
  1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
4.9
PG-13
Year:
1986
96 min
67 Views

How come the dog gets to sit in there

while we're freezing our ass off out here?

It would be cruel to let him out

on a night like this.

- He's just a dumb animal.

- No, Dave, we're the dumb animals.

Keep it right there.

Over to the side. Yeah, yeah. Stay back.

A little girl?

- I'm coming. All right, I'm here.

- Yeah.

Where were you on the stairway, asshole?

- I was looking for you.

- Oh, yeah, looking for me.

This is my kind of night, Dave.

The wind chill factor's 10 below zero...

that building's an inferno,

my stomach's a goddamn volcano...

and I got an icicle of snot

hanging from my nose.

That's it. This is my last fire.

I'm hanging up my hose.

Bullshit, Jack.

I've heard that from you 1,000 times.

- Bullshit? Oh, yeah?

- Bullshit.

Read this, pal, and weep.

"Paradise for Pennies. A Garden of Eden...

"built on a secluded lagoon, with its own

private dock and speedboat included.

- "Contact Mr. Banks, Saint Nicholas."

- Where the hell is Saint Nicholas?

- It's in the islands, Dave.

- Which islands?

Nice, warm islands.

Go on, ma'am.

- My baby is in there.

- Yes, I know.

My baby.

Damn it. Hand me that crowbar.

Let me know what's happening.

Let me know what the spread is.

- Move along!

- Where's he going?

Get in after him!

Oh, shit!

Come on, baby. It's me, Jack.

Come on.

Come on, baby.

You want to play?

You furry piece of shit.

Get the net! Come on, babe.

Come on, baby. Yeah! Get it, baby.

Jack, Jack! Oh, Jesus! Jack!

Dave.

- Jack.

- Dave.

I'm here, Jack.

I quit.

Son of a bitch.

Jack, can you hear me?

Shit.

Jack!

Limbo time, everybody.

How low can you go?

Do you mind, Jack?

lt's awfully loud, isn't it?

"Awfully loud, isn't it?" Quite true. Sorry.

Terribly sorry.

Jack, this is Captain Toby Prooth

and Phillipa Lloyd.

They just came in from Antigua.

Toby has the most beautiful sloop.

Yes, he does. Are you cast or crew?

Strictly crew.

And, of course, you know the Governor.

Oh, the formerly honorable

Anthony Croyden Hayes. Your Excellency.

Good gracious, man, are you still here?

You remind me of a sort of strange

vegetation that just popped up...

and now we can't get rid of.

It seems that you've been here for a year.

Oh, it's just been five months. But tempus

really fugits when you're having fun.

That's what I love about you tourists:

the instant you get your pink feet...

into some sand, you start thinking about

giving up the dry-cleaning business...

in Cleveland and moving to the islands.

Are you in the dry-cleaning business,

Mr. Moniker?

Hat-blocking? Xerox repair?

Fireman, sir. Chicago fireman. Retired.

- That's interesting.

- There's a smashing yacht club...

in Chicago. Belmont Harbor.

Well, you see,

yachting's a little tough in Chicago...

'cause they tend to shoot at you

from the South Shore.

Yes, you have a nice, steady kind

of violence in the States. Very predictable.

Here in the jungle, it's basically long,

tedious periods of sweltering doldrums...

punctuated by the occasional bloodbath.

I think we're due for one at any minute.

Now, now, Tony...

don't start those wild rumors

about revolution again.

Well, it happened in Kenya, didn't it?

They dragged those fat burghers

from their beds in the dead of night...

forced them to drink blood

through a severed sheep's penis...

and then hacked them to pieces

with machetes.

It isn't bad as all that.

Besides, I don't think there are any sheep

on Saint Nicholas.

I heard about this guy in Cicero.

He stiffed a loan shark. So a couple

of these guys got him. Cut off his arm...

beat him to death with the arm...

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Harold Ramis

Harold Allen Ramis (November 21, 1944 – February 24, 2014) was an American actor, director, writer, and comedian. His best-known film acting roles were as Egon Spengler in Ghostbusters (1984) and Ghostbusters II (1989) and Russell Ziskey in Stripes (1981); he also co-wrote those films. As a writer-director, his films include the comedies Caddyshack (1980), National Lampoon's Vacation (1983), Groundhog Day (1993), and Analyze This (1999). Ramis was the original head writer of the television series SCTV, on which he also performed, and he was one of three screenwriters of the film National Lampoon's Animal House (1978). more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"Club Paradise" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 15 Sep. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/club_paradise_5697>.

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