Clerks II Page #2

Synopsis: A calamity at Dante and Randall's shops sends them looking for new horizons - but they ultimately settle at Mooby's, a fictional fast-food restaurant. Free from his dead-end job (and lodged in a new one), Dante begins to break free of his rut, planning to move away with his clingy fiancé. Dante is ready to leave the horrors of minimum-wage New Jersey behind, but Randal - always the more hostile of the two - starts to become overwhelmed by his own rancor.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Kevin Smith
Production: MGM
  3 wins & 3 nominations.
 
IMDB:
7.4
Metacritic:
65
Rotten Tomatoes:
63%
R
Year:
2006
97 min
$23,951,963
Website
2,821 Views


Have a good one.

You f***in' freak.

(door buzzer moos)

I'm not even gonna point out|the irony here.

What's the matter with you?

What'd I do now?

There's a crippled guy|who found a way

to reach out to a world|he feels isolated from,

and you somehow found a|way to take issue with him.

Sure, take his side.

Have you become so embittered

that you now feel the need|to attack the handicapped?

What handicap?

The guy's|just in a wheelchair.

It's not like|he's Anne Frank or something.

Anne Frank?

Yeah, Anne Frank,|the chick that was all...

(moaning)

...till the miracle worker|showed up

and knocked|some smarts into her.

(snickers):
|You're talking

about Helen Keller.

No, I'm not.|I'm talking about Anne Frank.

She was deaf, dumb and blind.

No, she wasn't.

Helen Keller was|deaf, dumb and blind.

Are you sure?

Yup.

Then who the f***'s Anne Frank?

Anne Frank's|the little Jewish girl

who hid from the Nazis

in a secret room|with her family.

She wrote a diary.

Oh, yeah.

Well, then, I guess|this guy is like Anne Frank,

what with the diary, you know?

No, he's like Helen Keller|with the handicap, you jerk!

(computer beeping)

You always got to be right,|don't you?

You Nazi douche bag.

What? What do you want?

No, we don't serve Cow Tippers|in the morning.

Freedom Toast is a possibility.

# #

Oh, we totally do.

(scoffs)

All right, that'll be $12.64.

(door moos electronically)

(gasps)

(sighs)

Avert your eyes, you perv.

That's not very hygienic.

That's all I'm gonna tell you.

(door moos electronically)

Emma, are you like this

'cause you have an|unnaturally large clit?

(sighs)

You just had to tell him,|didn't you?

It kind of came out one day.

He says it's so big,

it's almost like|a little cock...

which says all kinds|of weird things about him

that I don't even want|to think about.

You wouldn't want|to be with a girl

with an oversized clit?

No, 'cause the next stop is|a guy with an undersized dick.

(door moos electronically)

# #

You're a little hard.

'Cause you're|a little close to me.

I can pull back, if you want.

Can we pull back into our|own apartment in Florida again?

Really? Goddamn it, Dante.

How many times|are we gonna have

this f***ing conversation?

There is no point|in getting an apartment anymore.

My mother has|pretty much told us

that she's gonna get us|a house as a wedding gift.

Your parents' generosity

just makes me|a little uncomfortable, Em.

They're giving us a house.

Your dad's giving me|one of his car washes to run.

Rate this script:3.0 / 3 votes

Kevin Smith

Kevin Patrick Smith (born August 2, 1970) is an American filmmaker, actor, comedian, public speaker, comic book writer, author, and podcaster. He came to prominence with the low-budget comedy Clerks (1994), which he wrote, directed, co-produced, and acted in as the character Silent Bob of stoner duo "Jay & Silent Bob". Jay and Silent Bob have appeared in Smith's follow-up films Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back which were mostly all set in his home state of New Jersey. While not strictly sequential, the films frequently featured crossover plot elements, character references, and a shared canon described by fans as the "View Askewniverse", named after his production company View Askew Productions, which he co-founded with Scott Mosier. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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